Thursday, June 21, 2012

Who Is Selfish?

From a poly blogger who thinks monogamy can be right for someone, but that polyamory would be embraced by most people if they understood what it really is...
It doesn’t make me a bigot to ask people to call into question things they have taken as the standard model and only option for relationships. If someone’s never heard of anything except for monogamy as a valid life choice, then I obviously can’t expect them to understand. But if someone comes at me and calls me absurd and cruel and selfish and egocentric, why are they not the bigot? Why am I the one who, when defending how I live and love as a valid and rational life choice, becomes the bigot? Because I use harsh language and come back with equally as insulting opinion? Why is calling into question the problems with the standard paradigm a jab? Because it’s how most people live and I’m insulting most people? But it’s okay for someone to say that to me? The majority can insult the minority, but the minority can’t stand up for themselves by doing exactly the same thing? 

People should always question paradigms, and explore all avenues (this does not apply only to relationships, but to everything), and if they ultimately arrive at monogamy as the best option, then they should embrace it (and embracing it does not mean every other way is invalid).
I look forward to the day when polyamory is widely understood and polyamorists do not have to defend themselves from charges of being selfish and egocentric for simply loving more than one person. As the blogger notes, both polyamorists and monogamists can be selfish or unselfish. Selfish people are bad for any relationship.
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1 comment:

  1. LOL I don't see why someone would call them selfish. Too be completely honest I think that's pretty unselfish to be able to happily work a poly relationship and spend roughly equal time with each partner. I would not want to because I'm "selfish" in that sense and would prefer to have one to myself. No sharing! Mine! *_* xD


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