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Thursday, June 21, 2012

I'm Not Going to Use That Feline Predator Slang Term

Intergenerational relationships between adults are not illegal, at least not anywhere that I know of, yet they still draw much disapproval and prejudice based solely on the ages of those involved. Although they do draw criticism, older man-younger woman relationships have been seen as less scandalous than older woman-younger man relationships, probably due to longtime patriarchal control of public morality, rigid gender roles of men as workers/breadwinners and women as walking incubators, and the demands of some that relationships and sex focus on childbearing. In recent years, older woman-younger man relationships have become increasingly visible in pop culture. Within the LGBT community, there is still some who look down on older man-younger man relationships and older woman-younger woman relationships, but those outside of the community who disapprove are usually fixated on the gay or lesbian aspect of the relationship.



Since we now accept that there is much more to relationships and sex than childbearing, I don't follow the objection to intergenerational relationships that amounts to "He's young enough to be your son," "She's young enough to be your daughter," or "He's old enough to be your father," or "She's old enough to be your mother." I say, "So what?" Then again, if you know this blog you know I have no problem with consanguinamorous relationships between parents and their consenting adult children.

While I usually don't make this blog about me, I have no reservations about admitting that I have experience being the younger man with an older woman. For about a year and a half beginning when I was still 19 years of age, my friendship with a woman in her 40s was also a sexual romance. I do not believe either one of us suffered as a result. I see it as a very positive experience in my life and after a cooling-off period at the end of the sexual relationship, we returned to having a nonsexual friendship. I dated women slightly older and slightly younger than me throughout the years, as well as seeing some women who were decades older than me, though none of those flings with the other older women lasted nearly as long as the first. But it was never about the age. It was about the woman. I didn't go looking for older women, though some people might want to do that.

The only caution I would give someone about intergenerational relationships is about the issue of having and raising children and end-of-life planning. Both men and women have a reduced ability to naturally conceive healthy children as they age, although the age issues are more of an issue with women.

I was inspired to share this with you because of a website I found. Susan Winter has a website you might want to check out, if you can handle the heat. Several weeks back I saw this on the website.
There is a long-held awareness as to the tantalizing sex older women share with younger men. Its intrigue dates back to the origins of recorded social history. Wealthy families routinely brought their young males heir to brothels, to enable these youths to discover the delights of sex with professionally experienced older women.
No brothel for me. My lover taught me a lot.
Younger men have long been initiated into the pleasures of sex through the aid of older women. This rite of passage served as an introduction to the many joys sex has to offer. For centuries to come, younger men continued to find their way into the arms of older women— either by parental compliance or choice. What is it about this unique coupling that makes the sexual experience so potent? Is it the older women? The younger men? Or both? And why does it still carry the lure of intrigue mixed with the taunt of guilty pleasure? The answer lies in the combined qualities of both the younger man, and older woman.
You can read the rest here. It is true. Some of the best sex I've ever has has been with older women. Only one women slightly younger than me has provided a stronger passion than my older lovers, but that's a whole other matter.

Are you in an intergenerational relationship? What are your thoughts? I support the rights of adults in intergenerational relationships, and I challenge those who object to them to mind their own business.
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