Saturday, January 21, 2012

Yes, Polyamorous Relationships Work

DivineCaroline asks, “Can Polyamorous Relationships Work?” The essay brings up recent coverage on "Good Morning America."

Although all parties seem dedicated to providing a loving home for Jaiya's two-year-old son, Aiman, it's pretty obvious that Old Shoe Jon is uneasy with the arrangement at times, telling the reporter that the relationship "can be tough; especially if that little voice of low self-esteem comes up or that social voice of 'that's your girlfriend.'"

Just about any honest person in a long-term monogamous relationship will admit that there have been times or ongoing issues or uneasiness in the relationship, so that some people in polyamorous relationships experience some discomfort or is less than enthusiastic about something should not be surprising. Jon is probably happier than he would be if he was no longer there, just as some (certainly not all) divorced monogamists realize they were happier when married.

Clearly Jon grapples with issues of jealousy and feelings of inadequacy in his poly-relationship, but to be fair, those feelings can be present no matter how many people are involved.


Can polyamorous relationships ever work?

Yes! They can and do.

Would you ever consider a less-than-traditional partnership?

Too late to just consider.

And if so, what would that look like?

Whatever works for the participants. There are many possibilities. As for me, I’m not going to detail everything out loud in my personal life right now, but I have no problem with being a “secondary,” meaning the woman I love and am in a relationship with can have other lovers, including ones that take priority over me, while I am also to free to be in a relationship with another woman.

There were come comments from allies and participants.


It wouldn't work for me, but I know a group of people who have been in a polyamorous relationship for years, and it works very well for them.


i'm polyamorous and have poly relationships. i have my fiance and i have a girlfriend and she has a girlfriend. we all know about each other and are totally okay with it.


I say that if you can handle that type of relationship then go for it. I personally would not want to share my man, but that's my personal preference. Having a polyamorous relationship is much better than cheating on your partner.


Nope, wouldn't work for me. However, not my place to tell other people how to live their lives.

Joy is not an ally…

The most childish, immature, pathetic, desperate, and lonely thing I've ever seen is polyamory.

Must be sad to be so angry at other people who do nothing to you.
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  1. Gotta love how when poly relationships fizzle it's because they're poly, but when mono relationships go south it's because it's a relationship, monogamy is never mentioned as a factor. Newsflash, relationships are tough!

    1. Yes, I find that interesting. I ask people who criticize polyamory from the standpoint that only monogamy is right to only cite what they see as problems with polyamorous relationships that aren't ALSO problems with monogamous relationships.

  2. LOL I like what you said BurningCharisma :P
    I'm glad that polyamory can work for many. I don't feel it would work that well for me though. I'm the jealous type :P and typically a third wheel if there ever is one.


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