Saturday, January 7, 2012

Growing Through Polyamory

In this previous entry, I linked to The Frugal Vegan’s rant in response to a documentary that looked at polyamory. Here’s her essay “What Polyamory Means to Me.”

From my understanding of mainstream society, there are 3 categories of important people in our lives, each having their own sets of rules of conduct: Family, Friends and Lovers/Partners.

For some people, one person can fall into two, or even three categories.

Personally, I don't like rules or restrictions. Don't mistake this for me not liking respect or respecting people. I am not good at just taking information in "just because" someone told me or because society does it. I am the type of person who needs to draw her own conclusions based on fact as well as feeling.

Good for her!

By definition, I am polyamorous though I am not comfortable with labels, this is the best word explaining how I live. I don't sleep around, nor do I flirt with everyone I see and I don't have 100 people around me and currently I only have one main partner (though I have had two main partners at one time). I don't attend funky swinger or "key" parties either. My life is pretty normal. I have three close friends who I cuddle with on occasion though I only see them a few times a year, sometimes only once. Someone's gender or sexuality is also irrelevant to me, people are people! I stay friends with my ex partners because they are all awesome people even though our union did not work out. I don't believe in cutting people out unless there is no connection left or if the person did something horribly wrong.

She says why this helps her grow as a person…

By opening myself to others, this opens up new parts of me and I love it. As much as my partner is an awesome human being, he understands that I find a lot of meaning in relating closely with others. Sex can be part of the equation though it is never the main reason a person and I would decide to be friends.

Those are just some the highlights of her essay. I recommend you go read the rest to get one person’s account of their own polyamory.

Polyamorists are a diverse group. About the only thing polyamorists all have in common is actually, or being predisposed to, loving more than partner. Our vegan friend describes herself as somewhat of a loner, and she’s clearly not a swinger. But there are polyamorists who thrive on always being with others and who are swingers. There are poly people who have two lifelong loves, and they are all together at the same time. None of these people should be denied their rights to share love, sex, residence, and marriage, if that is what they want.
— — —

No comments:

Post a Comment

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.

IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE. If your comment includes graphic descriptions of activity involving minors, it's not going to get published.