Tuesday, January 31, 2012

New Genetic Sexual Attraction Resource - UPDATED

There’s a new resource available regarding Genetic Sexual Attraction:

Support Openness Awareness Restoration
Or, Female Voices of GSA UPDATE: the URL has changed and the website now has male and female contributors.

From their [original] About page…

This blog is a collection of writings from women who wish to share their experience of genetic sexual attraction (GSA).

GSA is a natural response to a broken situation. It is nature's design to help with the bonding process that ought to have happened at the onset of the relationship but did not because of early separation and/or abandonment.
The site is dealing with heterosexual relationships, at least so far. Will there be a GSA site for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals? I do expect more sites will be needed as the GSA community continues to connect and grow.
Not many women who experience GSA directly or indirectly talk about this life altering experience, because of fears and taboo around incest. Our hope is for women and men to come here and get a feminine point of view on how GSA can dramatically affect women and all their relationships because of this unexpected intense phenomenon.

Voices of daughters who have/had a GSA relationship with their fathers, voices of mothers who have/had a GSA relationship with their sons, voices of sisters who have/had a GSA relationship with their brothers, wives who have/had a husband experiencing GSA with a familial member are written and expressed here.

One of the helpful pages already there is “Evaluating the Risks- Questions for Daughters.”

One of the critical dangers in a GSA relationship, is in it's far reaching effects on a family unit. Here are some reflective questions for a daughter struggling to evaluate her relationship with her birth father.

There are some great questions. I wanted to briefly talk about a few of them…

1. Are you currently married and/or have children?
5. Are you prepared to lose your husband and/or your children for this new relationship?
9. How does he treat his current spouse (if he has one)?

I generally discourage people from acting against existing vows to others. But I also would not place someone experiencing and acting upon GSA in the same category as most cheaters (although it can feel even worse to the person cheated on). Someone with vows to another or others that would preclude the freedom to act on GSA, or with commitments of time, attention, and emotional intimacy that are threatened by the pull of GSA, need some strong support in maintaining their commitments or repairing their prior-existing relationships., as well as navigating the GSA relationship in a way that is acceptable to all involved.

6. Have you evaluated whether or not your needs are truly sexual?
7. Imagine your relationship with your father without the sexual component. Can you imagine a scenario in which you would feel loved without sex? If so, write out that scenario.
11. Who was the one who initiated the sexual component? If it was you, have you explored why you felt those needs in that way? If it was him, what caused you to say yes to him?
13. What is the primary motivation for engaging in a sexual relationship?

If someone is disturbed by their own sexual behavior, or has good reason to believe their GSA is for a toxic, abusive, or basically incompatible person, these questions can be helpful. Other than that, my blog is a sex-positive blog that supports the rights of any consenting adults to share sex (or love, residence, or marriage.)

Sex is a natural, positive (overall) part of adult human relations, and as long as it doesn’t go against existing vows to others, nobody need explain or justify their desire to have sex or actually having sex with other consenting adults. The problems surrounding GSA are made worse by laws, discrimination, prejudices and blanket condemnation against consanguinamory (consensual incest); discouraging open, honest and inclusive discussion; and a lack of research.

People have sex for many different reasons. When GSA is involved, there are even more. Sex is a way to bond, learn about each other and ourselves, demonstrate love, express affection, and so many other things.

These same questions can be asked of any woman in any sexual relationship. There are women (and men), including married ones, who wouldn’t miss sex if they never had it again. (I’m not one of them, but they do exist.) There are many things in life we can survive without, but that doesn’t mean we should deny ourselves of those things.

See what I wrote before on making decisions about sex.

See my Genetic Sexual Attraction page.
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