Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Still Looking For a Reason to Deny Equality

Not sure how this was on topic to the URL where I found it, but someone asked

If marriage is to be defined as a between ”two consenting adults”, should a man be allowed to mary his brother?

Yes. But we should not limit marriage to two people.

And if he is allowed to marry his brother, why not his sister?

He should be allowed to do that, too.

We can say that that union carries a high risk of birth defects but are we going to start denying people the right to marry simply because their children have a higher risk of congenital disease? ”Sorry ma’am, you can’t marry because you have a family history of breast cancer.”

Good point.

Is there a line to be drawn or should all consenting adults be allowed to marry whomever they choose?

Consenting adults should be the line (or, minors who are liberated and consenting – say, one is 17, the other is 16, etc.).

The responses…

I’m against polygamous marriages being legally recognized though because it would create a legal fiasco.

It doesn’t have to. Take, for example, who gets to make medical decisions should a spouse be in a coma. There are legal documents for that.

Another comment, and it was a good one…

I agree wholeheartedly. Consenting adults should be able to do what they want to, period- even if incest tends to make most of us shudder and go ”Ewww.”. ”Ewww” does not stand up in court, and hell, ”ewww” used to be- and still is- something that people use to justify their bigotry and denial of rights to gay people.

Get over the fact that *you* wouldn’t practice incest, and start giving people the right to make that choice for themselves.

And yes, you’re right about the whole birth defect thing. Individuals with Huntingson’s Disease have a 50% chance of passing the gene down to their children- just as much as that of close relatives who breed together, and much more than that of less close relatives. We don’t ban people with Huntingson’s Disease from reproducing, so why are we stopping incestuous couples?

Thank you!

Another from someone who does not express solidarity…

Beyond that I think you have to start providing actual examples of real people who are (1) emotionally and intellectually healthy and (2) want ”unconventional” marriage arrangements before people like me are going to take your objections seriously as a matter of law.

You have a long list of people like me who have have been in a stable, same sex relationship for much longer than 2 out of 7 celebrity marriages (I’ve been with my partner for 19 years this month) who will get real legal and civil benefits from recognizing our relationship for what it is.

While there is still a lot of bigotry and some hate crimes out there, in many places in the US, gays and lesbians and same-sex relationship have aggressive protections under the law and full acceptance. Not so for poly people or people in consanguineous relationships, who in many more places can suffer hate crimes, loss of job, loss of child custody, even criminal prosecution. It is hard to line people up to come out of closet under such circumstances. Show some compassion and get some solidarity for people who haven't had their Lawrence yet.

Another comment…

the only reason people get married is to make a statement that they’re in love with their spouse and their love is pure. people are way to caught up in other peoples lives, why does the world have to be so shallow? if you feel most in love and safest with your brother than why should we (the people who don’t even know you) be able to tell you that you’re wrong, perverted or’s just sickening.

I appreciate the support, but telling someone you don’t approve of or like their relationship is one thing. Denying them the freedom to that relationship is another. People should be free to express themselves, even if they are rude or don't know what they're talking about. But likewise, people should be free to love the person or person(s) they choose.

I’m still waiting for a good reason to deny full marriage equality. Ignorance, myths, and prejudices abound, but where is the reason? Maybe the bigots should give up and let people be happy.
— — —

No comments:

Post a Comment

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.

IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE. If your comment includes graphic descriptions of activity involving minors, it's not going to get published.