Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Making It Work

Joseph at Escape to Polygamy notes the increasing awareness of poly people and talks about “The Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving Truth.”

[Years ago] of course the media would focus hard on any negative they could find (and rightly so). Yet the negatives they could find were the exact same abuses that occur without bounds in "monogamous" relationships.

Agreed. A criticism of polyamory by someone promoting monogamy should never cite something in polyamorous relationships that is commonly found in relatioships with people who profess to be monogamous.

Today, the media is switching positions and there are many articles and reports in favour of adult, consensual polygamous relationships, which is a great thing.

Yes it is.

Yet there is still a silly, yet disturbing, propaganda being spread by both those who claim to be supporters of the poly lifestyle and those who claim to be living it, as well as warnings against living it by those who are in opposition.

A well meaning group trying to warn others considering this lifestyle, that it is not all a bed of roses. And this is of course true. But once again, the focus is on the polygamous lifestyle, as if it were any different from the "monogamous" lifestyle is absurd. The same personality quirks exist in polygamous unions, as they do in all other areas of life.

Some of the Brutal, Honest, and Unforgiving truths that are being touted are things like jealousy, coveting, control, territory, bullying, dominance, abuse, legal spouse, legal ownership, life insurance, medical care, etc, etc. These are just some of the "brutal truths" that we are warned against in polygamous unions.

These do sound a lot like the issues faced in monogamous relationships. They might pop up in any relationship.

As adults we enter the workforce, or marry, and still need to get along and work things out in our own circle of influence. This is no different in a polygamous union. If there is a jealousy issue, then work it out. Stop being a prissy little brat.

Read the whole thing for a lot of practical advice.
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