Tuesday, November 9, 2010

As a Reminder, Poly Does Not Equal Easy

Mistress Lera got a question asking her what polyamory is, and if women who are poly are easy. I have edited for language.

Just because a woman claims to be polyamorous, it doesn't mean that she would jump in the sack with any a--hole she meets on the street.

Yes, one of the biggest misconceptions is that poly people will have sex with anyone. Wrong. There are people like that who are poly. And there are people like that who don’t indentify as poly, who go from one person to the next. So yes, some poly people are easy, just like some people who claim to be monogamous are easy. But as with monogamy, there are poly people who are quite narrow in their attractions and letting someone into their life.

Many think that it's an excuse to get into someone's knickers -- or my favorite -- an excuse to cheat. I've often heard statements such as "I am polyamorous therefore I can screw as many partners as I like without any regards for their feelings" or " a person claims to be polyamorous therefore he/she is easy. So I may f--- him/her with no strings attached." I call bull---! As with any sexual lifestyle, there are rules to follow, and polyamory should in no way be confused with total hedonistic polyf---ery.

What she said.

The more people find out about polyamory, the more they should notice that is isn’t strange or all that different from other responsible models. Certainly, honest and considered polyamory is better for everyone that claimed monogamy with cheating and frustration. Marriage equality would help to back that up.
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