FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.
Robin: My name is Robin. I’m 33, a single mother of two; my son and my daughter. We live in the southwest United States. I have one sibling, my brother, Mark, who is two years older than me. We run a successful family business that allows us to live comfortably. I enjoy time with my friends and, of course. my family.
FME: Are you married or have you ever been legally and/or ceremonially married?
I am not married nor have I ever been. I don’t personally believe in marriage, but have no conflicts with those who do. My brother has never been married, either.
FME: How would you describe your gender? How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation... are you heterosexual, bisexual, what? Are you monogamous, polyamorous, or....?
I am female and I identify as female. I am bisexual, definitely nonmonogamous.
FME: You currently live with…?
I currently live with my two children; it’s just them and me.
FME: You are in a sexual/romantic relationship with your biological brother?
Yes, but not exclusively, and I share him with his long time girlfriend.
FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how?
My childhood was pretty normal. Sex was never discussed in my house, so when I first discovered there was such a thing I became obsessed.
FME: Can you describe your sexual awakening?
My awakening came in my preteens. I had a close cousin the same age as me. We decided to do a show me yours, I’ll show you mine kind of thing. It was the first time either of us had seen the opposite sex nude. He was already hard when his underwear came off. He let me touch it. I had no idea what I was doing, but I know I enjoyed touching it and it seemed to get even stiffer the more I did it.
I asked him why it got stiff and he said he didn’t know and that it just happens sometimes. I told him that was so cool. I really did think it was.
We were both scared of being caught. So we kept it short.
I let him touch me between my legs. There was no penetration, just touching. He said I was soft. I didn’t expect to like being touched, but I did; it gave me a tingling sensation. We only did that for a few more minutes.
I had not yet developed breasts so the thought of showing him my chest didn’t even enter my mind.
Despite being scared and nervous, I really enjoyed the experience. Since he was my cousin, I think that’s where my interest in family love started.
I didn’t develop an interest in girls until a few years later, when I had a friend who liked to kiss. We would sneak off by ourselves and just kiss. She was a good kisser. We would also talk about our bodies changing, boobs and getting hair in places. When we had sleepovers we would even show our bodies to each other. Sometimes we would touch each other’s boobs to make our nipples go hard. She became my best friend and we still are friends to this day. We still have some fun on occasion.
My cousin and I explored a few more times over the course of about a year; touching and looking at each other’s parts. I enjoyed it quite a lot and I know he did, too.
One occasion I had the idea of going to the bathroom together and we took turns peeing in front of each other. He wanted me to hold it while he peed. I did for like a second but I made him pee on the bowl and we decided I wasn’t very good at that, but I liked holding it and it was fun. I guess he had seen women pee before because when it was my turn he got right down in front of the toilet and put his face very close to watch.
That was one of the last times we did anything, sadly. His family moved a few weeks later and we lost touch. I think back on those times fondly.
FME: How did sexual affection become a part of the relationship with your brother?
Growing up, my brother and I never had any sexual contact. As we got older and into the years of sexual discovery, our parents split up and he chose to be with my father and I chose my mother. So our time together was split.
I do remember a few times staying with him and my dad that my brother had a girlfriend he would bring her over and they would have sex in his room. I could hear them and I became extremely aroused and turned on to the point of masturbating while listening to them. From that point on, I definitely saw and thought of my brother in a different light.
But as I said, nothing ever happened between us during those years. I always looked forward to staying with them though nobody ever knew the real reason why.
Fast forward to my 30th birthday. My brother comes to my house and introduces me to his girlfriend, Carri. I’m instantly struck with how gorgeous she is. I’m not joking; she is jaw-droppingly beautiful. I was instantly smitten. I would find out later that she thought the same about me when we met.
Over the course of the next year, she and I would become great friends. They live about three hours away, but she would make an effort to come see me as often as she could, a lot of times without my brother because he had to work.
Now at this point in my life I was extremely sexually active. I’ve seen and done a lot! Like, a lot! A lot! I’m not gonna lie. I enjoy sex very much. I’m a sex ninja.
We were out shopping at my local outdoor outlet mall, just she and I, when we notice a group of guys watching us. We laugh and imagine what they are thinking. Carri turns to me and says let’s give them something to talk about. Without warning, she leans in and kisses me. Just a quick smooch on my lips.
She pulls back to gauge my reaction, which is mild shock. She smiles and leans in again and this time it’s a full-on kiss. Her arms go over my shoulders, mine around her waist. Her tongue pushes into my mouth and immediately begins playing with mine, and I’m thinking, oh my gawd, what is going on?
We kiss for a bit more, then break off and look over at the guys. All their jaws were on the floor. We laugh and she grabs my hand as we quickly walk away.
About a minute later, we finally slow down and laugh some more. She leans into my ear and says, “That was fun! Are you as [aroused] as I am right now?”
I looked at her, speechless. I didn’t know what to say.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said.
I just nodded my head. “Yeah…yeah.” was all I could say.
She gave me a wicked smile that made me melt.
Later that night, we had our first sexual encounter. She absolutely devoured me; it was amazing. I had never had such an amazing sexual experience with another woman before. We were totally focused on pleasing each other for most of the night. When it was all said and done, the shock of what happened kicked in and I was worried about having messed things up with her and my brother.
That’s when she told me everything was fine, they have an open relationship and she had told him a while back that she was gonna f— his sister. And apparently his reaction was pretty much, go for it! I was both shocked and incredibly aroused at the same time. It took a few more encounters before she made the suggestion of having Mark join us.
FME: Can you describe your feelings during that? Tell us what happened.
Nervous! And a lot of excitement. I waited to hear back if Mark would want to participate. I didn’t have to wait too long. Carri messaged me about a week or so later saying he’s in! My heart skipped a beat as I read that, and butterflies were wreaking havoc in my stomach. I had to confirm the message several more times for it to sink in.
She planned and set everything up for the following weekend. They would come down and we would see what happens.
When they came, we spent the day together shopping and went to a nice dinner. We actually didn’t talk about the plan to get together. I was kind of worried that they had changed their minds. However, before we left the restaurant, Carri purchased three bottles of wine to take home and told me we’re going to need these for later. She gave me that wicked grin and I knew things were still on.
We got back to my house. The kids were with my best friend. We got comfy, opened a bottle of wine, and sat on the couch to watch a movie. It didn’t take to long before Mark and Carri started making out and running hands over each other. I was getting very aroused watching her hand massage him over his pants and he was groping her.
Carri reached out and grabbed my shirt and pulled me to her. She turned to me and kissed me really hard.
Things quickly progressed from there. Next thing I knew, Carri took my hand and Mark’s and led us upstairs to my bedroom.
She and I started first. We made love frantically in front of Mark. It took some time before I even noticed that Mark was undressed on the edge of the bed. It was the first time I saw him nude. He had a good body, hairy chest, decent definition of muscle tone. I was excited at seeing his d—- for the first time. Not the biggest I’ve ever seen or had but I was definitely impressed and pleasantly surprised.
Carri had put me in almost a coma-like state. She then rolled over to Mark and immediately started [fellatio]. It was probably one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. I learned she doesn’t have a gag reflex - something we both have in common to the delight of my brother. The whole thing was even more charged up knowing I was watching my brother […with…] our beautiful girlfriend. They started having very hard sex, It was so erotic to watch, I almost couldn’t believe it.
At some point she grabbed Mark’s hand and put it on my breast, which he squeezed for a bit. The feeling was electric. She took my hand and squeezed it when she [climaxed intensely]. She let go of my hand and grabbed me by the back of my head and pulled me down to kiss her. Her breath blew into my mouth as she was climaxing.
The sight of that made Mark lose it. I was so turned on by the way he did. He was loud.
Carri went back to fellating him. When she was done, she came up and kissed me full on the mouth.
Carri turned the focus to me, telling me it will only take a minute for him to be ready again and asking if I was ready.
I was so nervous I was shaking. I nodded.
She asked how I wanted to do this and I said I don’t know. She said OK, don’t worry. She told me to turn my back to Mark and get on all fours. I did. I felt her hands on me.
I felt the bed shift from Mark sitting up and positioning himself behind me. Carri asked me again if I was ready. I nodded and I put my head down into a pillow. Mark asked about needing a condom, I was about to say something but Carri answered for me, saying no condoms.
The only thing I could really hear now was my own heartbeat nearly beating out of my chest. Carri was right at my side and she felt me. She said I was definitely ready.
In my head I kept saying “oh my gawd” over and over.
Mark put one hand on my hip and I instantly got goosebumps.
Then, there it was, the first touch of his d—- on my skin. I took a deep breath.
I heard Carri tell him to go slow because she wanted to enjoy watching it. It was incredible and intense. I remember thinking how full he made me feel.
Carrie said it was so hot. She asked each of us how the other felt. I really don’t remember what either of us said because I was so into the moment.
Carri was encouraging Mark.
I climaxed, hard. I swear it felt like it lasted the whole time.
I could hear Carri cheering him on, giving him direction and she even slapped my ass a few times.
Mark and I both had climaxes.
I just collapsed with him on top of me. My ears were actually ringing. We stayed like that for a few minutes. He was heavy, but I knew he needed to catch his breath. As did I.
I felt him pulling out and even that felt so good. I felt Mark move off the other side of the bed. I continued to stay flat on my stomach. My whole body and brain just felt numb with pleasure.
Carri came to face level with me and told me that was the hottest thing she had ever seen in her life. And she kissed me very deeply and passionately. She said not to move, and I told her I couldn’t if I wanted to. She got behind me and I felt her hands again. She then proceeded to [perform cunnilingus]. I have no words to describe the pleasure, the ecstasy I was feeling in that moment. It was out of this world.
We all continued to play for nearly the whole night. We got really down and dirty, experimenting and playing.
The next day was wonderful. There was no awkwardness at all. We all just knew that we had gone to a different level and that we were all just consenting adults enjoying each other. We were very happy and content with everything.
FME: How do you describe the sex now?
The sex now is still incredible. Mark is a very good lover, and I’m able to trust him completely with my body and my soul. We’ve been enjoying each other for about a year and a half. We know what we all like and enjoy so giving each other pleasure comes very naturally and quickly.
Carri is, of course, always loving and encouraging. Still the best female lover I’ve ever had.
We love exploring, experimenting and trying new things. If you can imagine the things an FFM threesome would do, we have probably done it, and more than once. It definitely is a mixed feeling of kink and eroticism, at least for me, and I love every minute of it.
FME: Describe what your relationship is now. Is it a marriage, a union, girlfriends and boyfriend, a throuple, or what? Are you more like spouses or family-with-benefits or something else? How long have you been lovers? Do you see each other as brother and sister, or lovers, or did those two roles become inseparable?
We don’t really have a label for what we are. A throuple, perhaps. I definitely see Carri as my girlfriend when we are together, and of course Mark does as well. We really do enjoy sharing each other when we are together. Mark and I do still see each other as siblings and that just adds to our sexual relationship in so many ways.
FME: Do you literally sleep together occasionally, or regularly? Or not - just sex?
Yes! I have a king size bed, so whenever they come to visit, we sleep in my bed together after our fun. Carri usually sleeps in the middle. Plenty of times I’ve been woken up to the sounds of them going at it, and I’ve also been woken up to join one or both of them as well.
FME: From what you said earlier, you aren’t an exclusive triad.
No we’re not exclusive to each other. I have other friends-with-benefits that I see. Carrie and Mark have an open relationship, so they see others as well. We do not have anyone else join us, at least not so far. We’re quite happy with it just being the three of us when we’re together.
FME: Is there a schedule as to when you join them? Or is it spontaneous? Is there a process?
No schedule. We get together whenever they or I have free time to visit. They stay at my house or I go stay with them. We don’t really have any rules per se. We just do whatever the mood tells us.
FME: Do your children know about you and your brother and his/your girlfriend?
My children do not know. It has been challenging keeping that a secret from them.
I have taught them a great many things about family love; that there is no shame in it. That it’s a beautiful and natural thing for family to share and show physical affection in different ways. They have been very accepting and understanding of the concept.
FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out?
My best friend, Cody, knows everything. She is amazing, we’ve been friends since elementary school and have been through everything together. We keep no secrets from each other. I told her about my feelings and trysts with my family a long time ago. She has never been judgmental or looked down on me for my lifestyle. She has always been 100% supportive and has always been there for me. She enjoys hearing the stories and all details of my experiences. She shares hers with me as well.
There are a couple of other male cousins that I’ve engaged with over the years, but they know nothing of the other or about other family.
As far as privacy goes, we try to just keep to ourselves mostly. We’ve found that’s the best way to keep the privacy.
FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages?
Keeping secrets is hard. We try to maintain our relationship in a somewhat private manner. Our family is known in the area where I live, so we have to maintain a traditional family structure out in public. But behind closed doors is another matter. We actually find it exciting and fun sometimes.
FME: Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers? Especially between siblings? What are the advantages to being in a throuple? Does your brother know how lucky he is? Does Carri know how lucky she is?
I think so. For me at least, the feeling of being lovers with family members is amazing, rewarding, and intense. It brings an incredible level of bonding and closeness that I think alot of family miss out on.
Carri is icing on the cake. She is incredible. Loving, supporting, encouraging. She is the sister I never had, which is a whole other level of erotic thinking.
We definitely know how lucky we all are. We don’t take it for granted. I firmly believe in living life to the fullest and doing the things that make you happy. Love without limits, I say.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship?
To be honest, I don’t have the time to think about anyone who would disapprove. I’ve never cared what anyone thinks about the way I live my life. Yes, that way of thinking has cost me friends in the past, but all I can say is look, I’m happy and they are miserable. So who’s really wrong? We know the truth, we know how we feel about each other and that’s enough. That’s all that matters. Period.
FME: From what you said earlier, you’re not looking for marry either or both of them?
No, I personally would not want to be married. I don’t believe in it. I prefer to maintain open and free relationships. We’re perfectly happy with how things are and have no plans of changing it.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a sibling?
I would say be cautious; not everyone feels the same way you do so don’t push it or be overly aggressive. I say that at least a subtle natural approach of some kind is definitely worth exploring. Test the waters, as it were. You never know what will happen. Best of luck to all!
FME: What if it’s mutual?
In that case, definitely explore those feelings. Don’t be afraid of what other people think or say. It can be so amazing and wonderful. Love and sex just feel so much more intimate and loving with family. A deeper, fuller connection; it’s well worth it.
FME: Do you consider yourself at least partially consanguinamorous in orientation, or could you be fulfilled only being in a relationship with someone who isn’t a close relative? Do you consider yourself inherently polyamorous or otherwise ethically nonmonogamous, or could you be fulfilled snd content with monogamy?
Hard to say. I know for a fact I personally couldn’t be fulfilled in a traditional relationship. I don’t like commitments, and I especially don’t like the idea of being tied down to just one person or persons. I’m a free spirit and I enjoy exploration and experimenting with new and different partners.
FME: Anything else to add?
All love is great, no matter where or who it comes from. Traditional family or not. We are all different, we all live different lives and have different opinions, thoughts and, beliefs. I hope someday we can all learn to live together in peace and happiness.
![Non-Monogamy Diagram [I:FV]](http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif){kind=link}
No comments:
Post a Comment
To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.
If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.
IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE. If your comment includes graphic descriptions of activity involving minors, it's not going to get published.