Their Love Endures

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

It’s been more than five years since we interviewed Anonymous Woman about her relationship with her son. They are still going strong, so she agreed to another interview to get caught up on how things are now. If you want to be interviewed for the first time or again, scroll down to the bottom for the link. We are always looking for people in "forbidden" or "taboo" relationships, or who used to be, or their supportive friends and family.

Anonymous Woman should be free to legally marry her partner, yet she can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below (and the first one we did with her) and see for yourself what this woman has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous Woman: I work for a doctors office doing billing and scheduling. I am Italian descent and I have one son who just turned 48 I turned 70 this year. We live in a modest middle class home. I was divorced when he was very young and raised him as a single mother trying to give him the best possible upbringing I possible could. We struggled for a few years but never wanted to food clothes or shelter. We live in state where any two consenting adults can have sex regardless of relationship 

FME: You and your son remain together? The relationship is ongoing?

Yes, 30 years now. I never expected it to last this long. I figured maybe it would be a thing for a few months or so but we decided to make a life out of it. We fell in love as a man and a woman as well as loving each other as mother and son. I was doing it before the Internet when it was totally hidden from any public knowledge.

FME: How’s the sex life with your son now?

You have to work at it like any other kind of relationship. My son and I like porn. When we started, the only outlet to see other people doing it were the Taboo movies. We would watch and learn new positions and things. After reading many interviews with porn stars, I felt I could relate to them. Feeling like an outcast, being shunned by family. Now with the Internet expanding everywhere, I can chat with some women in porn. Some very famous stars know about me and my son. We try and promote the women that portray real incest. "Step," to me, is just glorified cheating, and can't capture what it is like to be with a biological son. It turns my son on watching me with others. He calls me his favorite porn star. So, we may watch a private video of me having sex on camera. 

FME: Do you have a marriage license with him, and if so, how did you get it? Any other special paperwork (like Power of Attorney, for example)?

No marriage license officially, but we changed everything to "Mr. and Mrs." I remember we signed up for music records, magazine subscriptions, utility bills, bank accounts. All our mail came as "Mr. and Mrs.," which made it much easier to hide our true identity. I already had his last name. Our licenses matched. When you go to a bank, all you need to do is show a license. If you say you are married, they won't ask if you are mother and son. We wear wedding rings. The only way anyone could prove we are not legally married is to do an extensive research into marriage certificates. It's just the two of us living here.

FME: Describe your relationship now. Is this a marriage, a union, girlfriend and boyfriend, what? Are you more like spouses or family-with-benefits or something else? Do you see each other as mother and son, or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point?

This is a gray area for many, and I think each couple has their own way of dealing with it. My son is my husband just like any other husband was. I always say I married my son. The two roles are inseparable now. You do have to give up part of the mother role. I married my son when he was 19 and I was 41. You can't be a middle-aged woman married to a teenager and still be his mother 100% of the time.

The gray area is how much you give up. I loved making love to my son and we did lose that a little early on. I think it was natural and we were both adjusting to our new roles and lives. He needed a wife more than a mother then. But I missed the incest part. I love being an incest mother. So we talked and in the bedroom we are mother and son but outside to the rest of the world we are Mr. and Mrs. That's what works for us. Everyone is different and I think its important not to force one role or another. Eventually it will work itself out.

FME: Other people are involved?  

My son likes to watch me with other men and women. Since the last interview, we decided to experiment again. We have a blog and it turns my son on knowing other men want and get off to me. So my son brings home other men for me. Sometimes, more than one at a time. One time he set something up at a restaurant after it closed with four men.

I never thought at 70 years old I would be doing what I'm doing. It amazes me I have fans from 18 to 80

FME: Do you sleep together, or what are the sleeping arrangements?

We share a bedroom like any other married couple. 

FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?

Yes, close friends and some family. My friends accepted me right away. Family took much longer. I only have one sister and she could not deal with it for a while. She has since come around, but she treats my son as a brother-in-law and not a nephew. For years we did the usual: kept a spare bedroom and said it was his. He would mess it up if someone was coming over that didn't know about us.

FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers, especially between mother and son?

People still will think we are perverts or weirdos when they find out. You can sense they treat you differently. I do liken it to being gay. Either people don't know how to act or are just rude. We're just ordinary people. The big advantage is you really know the person. Every day of their life, you have known them. You can't have that closeness with anyone else. The bond between mother and son is so strong and a sexual relationship deepens and intensifies it. For a mother to reconnect with her son, have him back inside her, become one again, there can be nothing more fulfilling as a mother and a woman 

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship?

You will never get some people to understand. 


FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you? Or is this a different kind of relationship than that?

We one-hundred-percent would and I believe this is coming. Maybe just not in my lifetime 


FME: Have you helped others who are involved? Have you helped others get together? You’ve probably heard from many. Do you want to describe any examples?

Since my last interview there has been an increase in people wanting to know more. I have 85,000 combined followers on Tumblr and Twitter. It gets aggravating sometimes with same questions. 

There are no magic words or spells to make it happen . I tell them you have to be willing to take a risk or don't do it. Most the time I don't recommend it for one reason or another. But if you are afraid, then don't do it. I don't know why people think you can wave a magic wand and your mother will sleep with you. Its a big step and is not to be taken lightly.

Most of the help I give is to mothers who contact me. They trust me to help them because I have walked in their shoes. I know what they feel and are going through. It'd comforting for them to be able to talk to a woman that does it. If I had to guess,it would be over a hundred mothers I've helped through the years. Once in a while, someone will reach back out to me years later and give an update on their lives. I would say 90-percent are still together and the rest agreed to go another route. But I have not had a mother say her relationship with her son was ruined because they had sex. Whether they are together now or not. That sexual bond will always exist in their relationship. 

FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member?

You have to bring it up somehow. Say you saw something online about it. Get a reaction to incest. If it's positive you can continue and if it's negative you stop. Worse case: the thought has been placed and people do change. Do not push it or force yourself on anyone. This is a relationship just like any other; it works both ways. Talk to them about it. Right now, the answer may be no but people change. We all are at various points in our lives. Sometimes the time isn't right. But later in life it's brought up again and it works. I've seen many mothers later in life as old as in their 70s start a sexual relationship with their son

FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other, and are worried about consanguineous relationships?

As long as consenting and adults, they should mind their own business. Same as if they were gay or with polyamory. 

FME: Do you consider yourself consanguinamorous in orientation, or could you be fulfilled in a relationship with someone who isn’t a close relative?

I don't think I could be in love with anyone except my son. I never knew what true love was. I feel like a complete mother and loving wife. We play with others, but never could love anyone like we do each other.

FME: Have you met in-person or do you know anyone else who has experience with consanguinamory or consanguineous sex that you know of? 

We live in a state where any two people can have sex regardless of relationship. Over the years, we've helped couples move here. It's still not accepted, but at least you will not be arrested and is a great comfort.

We are always asked if we've met other mothers and sons and if we have sex. We have in the past, but most of time people just want to get together and be themselves. Not having to hide the relationship is a wonderful feeling. We used to have a cookout for mothers and sons, just to get them together with other people in a social setting and be able to say you are a couple. I know there are posts for sex clubs that are just for mothers and sons. I don't think there are any but the idea for a group of mothers and sons to go away on vacation is a wonderful idea. I still love to introduce him as my son and husband. I'm proud of it. 

FME: Any plans for the future?

To keep promoting the lifestyle until I can't anymore


FME: Anything else to add? 

I have a [NOT SAFE FOR WORK] blog on Tumblr "turning70fem" and a [NOT SAFE FOR WORK] Twitter account that started as my son's but I took over called "luvolderfems". My email is turning50fem@yahoo.com. Yes, I've had it 20 years but I can't change it. I always write erotic e-books about the lifestyle and different things. 

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Clearly, these lovers are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, and yet they can't even exercise their basic human right to marry. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied that fundamental right to marry. In many places in the world, they can't even be open about their love without risking prosecution!

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships. Many are monogamous, and others aren't.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the web version of this blog or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or see here.

If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you, Anonymous Woman, for doing this follow-up interview! We continue to wish you both well in your intergenerational, ethically nonmonogamous, consanguinamorous relationship.