Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Genetic Sexual Attraction in the News Again

You'd think someone was on a book tour. On the heels of turning a well-established Genetic Sexual Attraction forum into a personal, paid-subscription project, Julie and Carly, who recently appeared on Dr. Drew's television show, are now featured by ABC news. The story is by Susan Donaldson James. By the way, I recommend anyone dealing with Genetic Sexual Attraction check out this website, featuring free discussion forums that aren't sex-negative. It is run by people who were experienced with the old forum and have a wealth of good advice.

Julie DeNeen was raised by her biological mother and a step-father who adopted her after DeNeen's birth father relinquished his legal rights. But she yearned for the father she never knew, wondering why he abandoned her.

"I had no picture and no contact with my biological father," said DeNeen, now 31 and married with three children in Clinton, Conn. "I hardly knew he existed."
That would make her stepfather her sociological father.
DeNeen said she felt like she was regressing back to childhood, falling in love and looking to her dad as a hero. "I felt a lot of need for intimacy," she said. "The lines were so blurry."

But she makes it clear that she never had sexual intercourse with her father, even though the relationship was "very inappropriate." And like others who experience GSA, she crossed physical boundaries that were "embarrassing, confusing, amazing and overwhelming,"
Some people are not confused, nor embarrassed, by their mutual love and attraction. They shouldn't be persecuted by the law, or bullies, and certainly not other people who have experienced GSA.

Alvarado, who has treated four families with GSA, also blames the adoption process itself.
Not everyone who experiences GSA does so because of adoption. Sometimes, relationships end when someone is pregnant or when a child is very young, or there are one night stands or secret affairs that result in pregnancy, or there are donations of sperm, eggs, or embryos that create situations that might involve GSA... many different things other than official adoptions can be involved, in addition to adoptions.
The parent is often as smitten as the child, experiencing these feelings for the first time, and is rarely a sexual predator, according to Alvarado. But the imbalance of power makes the adult child more vulnerable to manipulation.
Name for me one personal relationship that does not involve an imbalance of power. Perhaps identical twins who were raised together?

Those with GSA can be healed, according to Alvarado, and the relationship can continue with nonjudgmental therapy and "normalization" of their feelings -- just in a different form.

For some people, ongoing lovemaking is normal. And healing.

Sullens, a 39-year-old art therapist and childbirth educator from Florida, embarked on a similarly forbidden relationship with her biological father about the same time as DeNeen. After discovering each other online, they became close friends.

"GSA doesn't just affect the two people, but the whole family system," said Sullens, who was in a 10-year loving relationship with her husband and had two children, now 6 and 9. 
What about when everyone involved (usually just two people, but not always) is free to be together? These are two happily (apparently monogamously) married women. Many people experiencing GSA aren't in the same place in life.
Sullens said that like DeNeen, she never had sex with her father, but their interactions were also "inappropriate."
These presentations of GSA need some more balance.
For Sullens, the experience ended in trauma, losing her father and all of her biological relatives for a second time.
That's too bad. It isn't everyone's experience.

Some of the typical ignorance and prejudice was expressed in the comments...
It seems these folks are looking for excuses and legitimate causes for their lack of restraint.
Why is ABC News posting filth like this? Shouldn't this be saved for daytime talk shows?
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1 comment:

  1. These people hadn't been fine with their GSA, if someone is not fine with his/her feelings had better not act on them, but they shouldn't have been so negative about GSA.
    Ok, I understand that experiences like these can be very painful, but this presentation risks to lead to this type of consideration:
    "Oh, poor people, they were looking for their relatives, but this terrible GSA made them develop INAPPROPRIATE feelings."

    Now, the problem is that people in "loving lasting happy relationships" (as you like to define them ;D) will be bullied because they had a "lack of restraint".

    I am not saying people who struggle with GSA are idiots, NO, I am not saying they should encourage to "cross the line", it's important to be aware of the consequences, but this presentation certainly doesn't help people who are fine with their relationship (for example that woman who would like to have a neighbour like me ;D).
    I hope the names of these people who are fine with their relationships will never get added to the long list of people who are struggling with GSA :(

    Anyway, laws against consensual incest must be repealed, can you imagine the fear of being sent to jail added to the GSA struggling?


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