Thursday, March 1, 2012

Here Comes the Wall

The writing was on the wall when a new website dealing with Genetic Sexual Attraction popped up and activity plummeted at Barbara Gonyo’s forum. Gonyo is the godmother of the GSA community and her website was the go-to site for people looking to anonymously ask for help or find community, and for researchers. It didn’t help that several important voices who have experienced GSA recently pulled out of participating on Gonyo’s website; as far as I know, they haven’t contributed at SOAR.

Now comes this announcement at Gonyo’s site. At first it sounds good…

This site has accomplished so much and now with all the new technology, it will grow even more. This forum is almost ten years old, and it's time to expand! On average the forum get's 15 to 20 thousand visitors a month. The format that is currently being used can only allow 20 people to be on at one time. It is not enough for the amount of people coming at one time seeking support.

Sounds like the announcement is about more people being able to participate, right?

In addition, this forum enables anyone to post, and though it's beneficial for those needing immediate support, it also lacks the security necessary to minimize trolls, perverts and unwanted advertisement to derail the original goal of the GSA forum.


For these reasons and more I have decided to close down the existing GSA forum and support a NEW forum that will minimize the issues the current one has. The process of converting to the new forum will happen in phases.

And here it comes...

Because of the cost and time necessary to provide a safe, quality forum- the new forum will be accessed fully when members pay a small yearly tuition. Casual browsers on the Internet will not be able to access or view the posts, and certainly not have the opportunity to comment. The cost to subscribe to the new forum will be $30.00 a year. This is a reduced rate especially for those who are making the transfer from the old site to the new one. On May 1st, 2012, the price will go up to $40.00 a year.

There already is an associated private group on Facebook for discussion away from "trolls, perverts and unwanted advertisement." I fear a paywall for the GSA forum is the death knell.

Yes, such a subscription will help weed out trouble. BUT… how many people want a financial charge in their records associated with Genetic Sexual Attraction??? Aside from the cost, there are many reasons someone wouldn’t, including the fact that acting on GSA is still (stupidly) illegal in many places, and even more widely stigmatized.

Another reason is that some people experiencing GSA have existing vows to others that precludes sexual activity and some other forms of socializing with additional people. If someone is struggling and looking for helpful information, they’re not going to want their partners(s) stumbling across financial transactions associated with GSA before they themselves can get somewhat of a handle on the situation and how to bring it up to their partner(s).

Be warned…

The existing forum will also be locked on May, 1, 2012. This means that after May 1st no one will be able to post or respond to posts. The work to archive the old forum will begin as to not lose the valuable information.

Another, ongoing issue….

My purpose and goal in the GSA forum originally was to help people and prevent them from entering into a sexual relationship with their new found relatives. It has always been my belief that the sexual part of GSA can eventually kill the relationship and cause much damage to families.

There are some in the GSA community who agree with this. However, there are other people in happy, lasting GSA relationships that include lovemaking. One size does not fit all, and people need to know this IS a viable option, and in some cases, the best option, and have access to people who can help with advice who are not going to impose their personal sexual morals on others. Both sides have been present, with tension, on Gonyo’s forums, though the nature of the forum has lent itself more to the sex-negative side.

I’m afraid the pending changes will further ostracize the people in ongoing consanguinamorous relationships and hinder people looking for help; that the communication will be less free (opinion-wise) and the diversity will be diminished.

I understand that while there are free prefab forum services out there, running a quality forum can be expensive, and that there are only so many options to deal with that. I understand that it is the right of the owner or any forum (especially one that has been presented for free to the user) to close it down or change the terms and conditions of use. That understanding, however, does not diminish my disappointment.

If you want to talk with someone, you can write me a fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com or find me on Facebook. I might be able to put you touch with people who can give you helpful advice if I don’t have the right advice myself.

There are some other places for people interested in discussing Genetic Sexual Attraction. As always, use at your own risk (list is after the jump)…

UPDATE May 2, 2012: FREE, welcoming GSA Forums now online!

GSA Yahoo Group
This group is active.

Kindred Spirits Forum
I know that GSA is not incest in the sociological sense, but many of the same issues apply. This is a very active forum and includes participation from some people experiencing GSA. Perhaps a section can be set aside there for GSA if enough people want it?
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  1. It's a shame to see it go, although a new better working forum is nice. As you say who wants to see GSA on a bank statement, not only that if you get people that are a bit confused and looking for answers, I can't see them wanting to pay $30/$40 to ask a question, most of the time, they only stick around for a little while. I sure wouldn't have joined as I did 2 years ago if I'd had to pay, first off I would have thought is this some kind of scam, secondly I'd have worried about the paper trail. The place is going to end up with all regulars and no one to give advice too. I think putting a donate button would have been a better idea, I sure would have joined and donated if that was the case. I'm one of the ones that are in a very loving gsa relationship, I suppose now I'm limited to where I can go to give free advice.

    Janet :)

  2. I'm willing to post questions and answers here, as well as guest blog entries.

  3. I see that most of GSA Forum's users want to prevent the sexual aspect of gsa. Yes, because of the SOCIAL STIGMATIZATION and ANTI-INCEST LAWS it causes lots of damage, but the act itself is simple sex, it can't be such a great problem just because it involves related people. Infact if a gsa couple discovered that they're actually UNrelated, all the problems would disappear istantly, except if there are spouses or children involved.
    So let's give te freedom to share sex and marriage with any consenting adult.


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