Friday, July 8, 2011

Polyamory on

Discussions like this one should be a reminder that poly families have the same interests and concerns as other families.

Anryan, under the subject heading “Polyamory,” asked, “Are there any others here?”


I dont wanna sound dumb but what is a polyamory?

That’s not a dumb question. Polyamory still doesn’t get nearly enough coverage and representation in the media.

Lisa0626 came to the rescue…

Web definitions
Polyamory (from Greek πολυ [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Any of various practices involving relationships with multiple partners with the knowledge and consent of all involved

Okay, don't laugh, but I have often thought, it would be great to have my hubby at home, another guy to take me out, another one to work with, and another to do really nerdy things! I am also, okay with men feeding me grapes and fanning me! LoL,

But, seriously, I am a one man woman! Always have been. :)


Have been involved in this once but things became complicated. You definitely need maturity in this type of relations.

Anryan returned and explained…

Hubby and I have been married for 16 yrs and poly for the last 3yrs. I am 39 and DH is 35. We both have signigicant others (i have another man, he has another woman). I am always looking for like minded, or at least open minded, people to chat with. I can answer any questions you have lol. Nice to meet you all.

We are a polyfidelitous family, meaning we have each have two relationships and are committed to them. In other words we don't go and find any other partners.

So it is a closed polycule.

We do not all sleep together, hubby and I have our own room and our SO's have thier own rooms. I sleep 2 nights with DH and then 2 nights with my SO, when i am with my SO my DH is with his. It is basically3 couples lol...kinda confusing to read. DH and I are legally married, but we are not married in any sense to our SO's.

The way she wrote this, it sounds like the others aren’t together? Sound like the legally married couple is the diagonal in an “N” or a “Z.”

Religion doesn't play into poly for the most part, not like polygamy does. A lot of poly couples are not of typical/traditional religions. We are pagan, but we have poly friends that are jewish, agnostic, and even christian.

We are normal people, with normal values lol. DH and i have 2 kids (17 yrs and 11 yrs). We don't have orgies in the living room lol (i get asked that alot for some reason lol), we have about as much sex as in any normal relationship, we aren't perverts lol.

If there are any other questions, just feel free to ask.

People often mistakenly assume that “polyamorous” = orgies. It isn’t necessarily so. People in some polycules only have one-on-one-at-a-time dating, sex, sleeping arrangements, or whatever.


~*Nope*~... NOT ME!!! I have no interest with being with other men other than polite conversation, and my husband loves and respects me too much, and isn't selfish enough to break up our family

Polyamory doesn’t mean a lack of love or respect (quite the opposite), nor does it mean selfishness or breaking up a family.

Not judging others... what you do is your business... you don't sleep in my bed, you don't pay my bills, you don't live under my roof, and you are not raising my kids... so I don't care

She returned to add…

I don't have anything against what others do in their home... they aren't contagous... my hubby and I are not going to catch it... hahaha


I would love to do it, but my husband would never allow it. It's unfair to expect one person to satisfy our every need, but I do understand why it's not the relationship he wants, and I respect that.

She’s putting her relationship with her husband over her own desires. If she isn’t depriving herself of something she needs, only something she wants, that can work, and that can be a good thing. He probably has some desires (not necessarily social or sexual) that he leaves unfulfilled for the sake of the marriage, too.

chinosruca is honest enough to admit…

Nope. I'm a selfish lover & don't share.

And that’s about as negative as the responses I saw got, which is a good sign.

Anryan responded to a couple of questions by clarifying that the kids know since they all live in the same home.

Yes we all live together, have for about two years. We have the same issues (bills, life, etc) that everyone does but yes we get along and we talk alot

We’re talking everyday people. There’s no reason why the only legal marriage they should be able to have is the current one. They should be able to expand the marriage or add marriages to accommodate the others, if that is what they want. That is why full marriage equality is important.
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  1. For the most part it seems the negatives comments at least are along the lines "it's just not my cup of tea" rather than "ew that's just wrong," except that they characterize that "cup of tea" as selfishness, disrespect, lack of love, etc. It could have been worse.

  2. I'm glad that the people conversing at least had some decency and regard to the idea of polygamy. It's not my cup of tea either but hey, I would love love love to meet people in a happy polygamous relationship. Differences between people and their relationships with others really fascinate me.


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