Friday, July 22, 2011

Getting Philosophical: Freedom vs. Promiscuity

Modern Love Muse writes "Spiritually Free or Sexually Promiscuous?"

The more we face our fears about love and sexuality and the more we push unnatural and harmful boundaries, the more we paradoxically have less to be afraid of. Our sexual choices become more authentic, unfettered by useless social constructs, prejudices or shame.

That is part of why I try to do right here.

That is why I believe that spiritually speaking, sex is more than just opening our bedroom to a variety of experiences, partners and practices. Specifically, total sexual freedom — the idea that we can love and be loved in ways that don’t fit neatly in a normative box — is different from wholesale sexual contacts. Again, all judgment aside, we can now differentiate ‘promiscuity’ — which often feeds into and manifests fears, limitations and restrictions – from ‘sexual freedom’ – which is a choice rooted in courage.

I defend the rights of consenting adults to have all the sex they want without fear of discrimination, prosecution, or bullying, but I don't personally encourage people to continue to do something they find is destructive to themselves or others. We are all different, and for some, monogamy is what is best for them. For others, polyfidelity. And for others, much more seemingly casual encounters There are countless constructs. I encourage everyone to be themselves and allow others to be themselves. For someone who needs monogamy, one encounter with another could be considered promiscuity. It isn't the same for a poly person.

“Very few people have given themselves complete sexual freedom so they continue to make agreements that cause repression, dishonesty and distance,” writes Robert Silber of link. To have total sexual freedom means to accept responsibility for oneself. When we take full responsibility for our lives, we won’t seek to control others, because we won’t be living in a state of repression and denial.”

It is an excellent piece. Go read it.
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