Thursday, July 7, 2011

Cousin Couples and Same-Sex Couples Aren't Enemies

Macha at Life as a Reader, who is an ally for marriage equality, shows integrity by calling out the lack of solidarity/throwing-under-the-bus some people do when doing the otherwise noble thing of arguing for the same-sex freedom to marry. (Full disclosure: the post links back to this blog, but I would have featured it even if it didn’t.)

You don't end the oppression of a minority by joining up with your enemy to further demonize other oppressed groups. You are only perpetuating the pattern of oppression.

Could not have written it any better.

Marriage equality for ALL loving, consenting couples can only be achieved when we stop allowing for stupid arguments that support discrimination. Marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples and for consanguineous couples are both opposed through similar faulty arguments, the one being proposed here: arguments surrounding the relationship between marriage and children.

Macha makes excellent points, then wraps up…

There are so many awesome arguments in favor of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples. There is simply no reason to stoop to the level of demonizing other loving, consenting couples (including people in polyamorous, consanguineous, or any other atypical relationship), who just want to have their love acknowledged, just like everyone else, in order to make gay and lesbian relationships look less frightening to the wider monogomous- and hetero-normative culture. Especially in this instance, you are only accepting the premise of the prejudicial arguments about marriage's relationship to procreation that work against you anyway. You're only hurting your argument.


wintersongt states it so well…

The LGBT community will NEVER be able to alienate or demonize enough of its own membership, other sexual minorities, or people in alternative relationship structures to appease the cultural conservative right. Only a clear message of equality for all loving people can hope to cut through the crap and achieve real change.

Grand slam.

The LGBT community will always be asked to jump through hoops to gain acceptance. Drop the Ts. Drop the Bs. Drop all Gs and Ls who don't say, "Yes sir!," sit in the back of the bus, attend an approved church, don't hold hands in public, and otherwise remain quiet... and then MAYBE we will tolerate you. Don't fall for that trap!

When arguing for the same-sex freedom to marry, the correct response to comparisons to consanguinity or polygamy is... "What's wrong with letting an adult share love, life, and marriage with any consenting adults?" Make the bigots defend their prejudice (they can't) rather than throwing other people under the bus!

I can understand why a monogamous gay man who wants to marry one unrelated man doesn't want to be told it is exactly the same thing as wanting to marry his sister or two women. It isn't, in the same way his wanting to marry that man isn't the exact same thing as another white man wanting to marry a black woman. But they ARE all a matter of marriage equality.

I have no interest in anal sex either way with another man, nor marrying another man. But I support those who do. They should not be denied their rights. Likewise, support the rights of others.

So, no, monogamous same-sex nonconsanguineous couples are not polygamists or incestuous. But there ARE some polyamorous same-sex relationships, and there ARE some same-sex relationships that are consanguineous. Gay or not, all adults should have the rights, including the rights to polyamory or consanguinamory.

My friends can't get married
with just a limited freedom to marry. They need full marriage equality before they can get married, because a ban on same-sex marriage OR a ban on polygamy OR a ban on consanguinity will nix their wedding.
— — —

1 comment:

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.

IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE. If your comment includes graphic descriptions of activity involving minors, it's not going to get published.