Adults Sent to Federal Prison For Loving Each Other

Although about half of the states in the U.S. and many countries will legally marry (heterosexual) first cousins, South Dakota is one of the few states that still has criminal laws against first cousins having sex. Several news outlets are reporting on the prosecution of a couple of consenting adults for having sex. Here's a report from todayskccr.com...

A La Plant man and woman have been convicted of incest.

28 year old Nicholas White Eagle was sentenced to one year and one day in federal custody, followed by one year of supervised release. 22 year old Fawn Scott was sentenced to 4 months in custody, followed by 2 years of supervised release.

Federal custody for consensual sex. Between adults.

Winning Rights for the Polyamorous

Professor of Law Hadar Aviram has some advice for polyamorists who want their rights recognized and protected, pointing to the success of those seeking the limited same-gender freedom to marry. She references the Supreme Court's recent move to deny review, without comment, the state court decisions overturning bans on same-gender marriages. Then writes...

Shortly after the first San Francisco round of same-sex marriages in 2004 I interviewed polyamorous activists, who at the time expressed little interest in legal activism... More recently, however, with the success of marriage equality, the community is exhibiting more interest in legal recognition of polyamorous relationships. 

As I've said before, the only thing all polyamorous people have in common is that they are people and they are polyamorous. Some polyamorous people do not care about marriage equality in general, or government documentation of (their) relationships. Some do not care about marriage at all, even just ceremonial. Others very much want the polyamorous or polygamous freedom to marry and other protections for their rights.

Some of this renewed interest in legal mobilization is inspired by same-sex marriage, and some of it relates to the increased public visibility of polyamory; nonmonogamous relationships have been highlighted on several popular television shows, like Big Love, Sister Wives, and Polyamory: Married and Dating.

Momentum and visibility help. Aviram notes the incremental path to the limited same-gender freedom to marry, then adds...

Clearly, polyamorous activists are not solely benefitting from the success of the marriage equality struggle; they also have to overcome the hurdles that success has created for them. If their success is to follow a similar pattern, there may be other victories, in areas of adoption, custody and employment discrimination, that need to be won first. And a crucial component of their struggle’s success would be a significant improvement in public opinion of nonmonogamous relationships, which is complicated by anti-Mormon and anti-Islamist sentiments.

I've written about this before under Why Polyamory Will Gain Acceptance Faster and How You Can Help.

One way we're going to win full marriage equality is by getting people to remove that invisible asterisk. Of course, it would be nice if the Supreme Court made a definitive move for national civil rights.

Jumping Legal Hurdles in Pennsylvania

Dealing with discrimination has prompted some people to have to settle, at least temporarily, for various legal work-arounds for their relationships. One example is that some gay or lesbian lovers have done adult adoptions of their partners.

From natlawreview.com is this report that a same-gender couple who once underwent adoption are now married.

Before the recent changes affecting the rights of same-sex couples, the legal recognitions available to same-sex couples were limited. One of the avenues followed by estate planning attorneys to allow for some sort of legal recognition to same-sex couples was adoption. Norman MacArthur and Bill Novak are one of the couples who went that route. They have been a couple for over 50 years.

Fifty years! Wow!

While living in New York, the couple registered as domestic partners in 1994. Upon moving to Bucks County, Pennsylvania, they learned that their domestic partnership would not be honored under the laws of the State of Pennsylvania. In seeking to have a legally recognized relationship, they were advised that their only option was to go through adoption proceedings. So, they did just that. Bill became the legal father to Norman. Bill is two years older than Norman.

 That shouldn't have been necessary, but there you go.

In 2014, however, the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Pennsylvania decided the case of Whitewood v. Wolf and, thereby, declared the marriage laws of the State of Pennsylvania, the very laws that had prevented the couple from marrying long ago, to be unconstitutional. Soon thereafter, Mr. MacArthur and Mr. Novak sought to formally marry; however, their previous adoption was standing in the way. So, they began legal proceedings to have the adoption vacated. On May 14, 2015, Judge Gary B. Gilman of the Orphans Court of Bucks County, Pennsylvania entered an order vacating their adoption decree and, as a result, allowing them the freedom to marry.

They should have been free to marry without having to vacate the adoption. What would have been the harm of allowing them to marry with the adoption intact? It was another hurdle they had to clear for no good reason. That's time, effort, and money spent by them because of prejudice.

We can make things simple by having nationwide full marriage equality. If a state offers marriages, domestic partnerships, civil unions, or any other agreements between consenting adults, those agreements should be available to all adults, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion. An adult should be free to marry any and all consenting adults. That's the simple and fair way to treat adults equally.

Utah Still Defends Criminalizing Polyfidelity

Utah leaders are sill defending their criminalization of polyfidelity, a particularly egregious violation of the freedom of association of consenting adults. Here's an Associated Press article from abcnews.go.com by Lindsay Whitehurst...

Utah state attorneys defending the state's anti-polygamy law argue it should stay on the books because it protects women and children from abuse.

Really? Are women and children more protected in Utah than every other state?

The Utah Attorney General is appealing a ruling striking down key provisions of the law in the case of Kody Brown and his four wives, stars of the reality TV show "Sister Wives." The state says in newly filed court documents that monogamous marriage is an important social unit and court rulings dating back to 1878 have upheld laws against polygamy.

"The United States Constitution does not protect the practice of polygamy as a fundamental right," state attorney Parker Douglas wrote.

We will see about that. Criminalization of consensual adult relationships has been struck down by the Supreme Court in case after case.

Brown family attorney Jonathan Turley countered Monday that the state's evidence of widespread abuse in polygamous communities is scant and the Browns show such unions can be healthy.

"As with monogamous families, the state has ample laws to prosecute individuals for abuse or other crimes," Turley said in an email to The Associated Press.

Exactly. Domestic violence and child abuse are criminal under other laws. Decriminalizing polyfidelity will actually make it easier to prosecute abuse.

The state is requesting oral argument in the case and Turley is preparing his response. He has said the family is prepared to take the legal fight to the U.S. Supreme Court if necessary.

I would love for the Court to take care of the issue this month in ruling on other cases.

Utah is appealing a 2013 ruling that struck down key provisions of the state's anti-polygamy law.

U.S. District Judge Clark Waddoups decided that a provision of the state law forbidding cohabitation violated the polygamous Brown family's freedom of religion.

It also violated other basic rights adults have.

If the ruling stands, Utah's law would be like most other states that prohibit people from having multiple marriage licenses. In most polygamous families, the man is legally married to one woman but only "spiritually married" to the others.

They should all be free to legally marry. But until then, they shouldn't be denied their right to be together unmarried.

The teaching that polygamy brings exaltation in heaven is a legacy of the early Mormon church, but the mainstream Salt Lake City-based Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints abandoned the practice in 1890 and strictly prohibits it today.

Many other groups citing Mormon heritage support polygyny.

An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. That's full marriage equality.

Arub Syed Looks at a Taboo

This report by Arub Syed at desiblitz.com is all over the map and an example of why terminology is important.  It is under the headline of "The Issue of Incest in Asian Society."

But early examples of incest relate as far back as Ancient Greece, where myths spoke of incestuous relations between brothers and sisters. Incestuous marriages were also a norm in the royal houses of Japan and Korea throughout the Middle Ages.

In the Indian state of Haryana, cases of incest have become widely reported. In 2010, a man in his 50’s was found having sexual relations with his married 30-year-old daughter for almost a year. Other similar cases uncover how deep this taboo is rooted within Asian culture.

They were consenting adults. Whether her spouse consented to nonmonogamy, this report doesn't say.

Oregon Continues to Waste Public Resources Attacking Consenting Adults

The attraction between consenting adults is proving to be so strong that jailing them doesn't deter them, but authorities in Oregon continue to waste taxpayer resources doing just that. We last covered this case here. Jenna Kochenauer at mybasin.com reports that there has been another arrest...

A Klamath Falls man was arrested this week for violating probation by moving back in with the adult daughter he fathered two children with.

Again, they are consenting adults. They should be free to live together.

49-year old Eric Lee Gates faces three charges of incest.

They are consenting adults.  That shouldn't be a crime.

The two children they have together were born in 2013 and 2014… but they don’t have custody of either child because courts say the children have genetic problems that are likely the result of the incestuous conception.

"Likely". Where is the evidence? Print it if you have it. But we don't throw people in jail for having children with genetic problems, and that isn't what he was charged with, was it? No, it wasn't. And I know people who aren't closely related who have children with genetic problems. I'm glad they haven't been arrested.


The story was also reported at kobi5.com.

There is no good reason for the authorities in Oregon to keep interfering in this consensual relationship.

UPDATE: October 2017

A Slowly Simmered Love

If my recollection is correct, this is the 49th ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below, "Andy," is thoughtful, articulate, and clearly able to consent to this relationship. She and her lover should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet they could be criminally prosecuted and face other forms of discrimination if the wrong people found out about their relationship. They are consenting adults (and a very cute couple, too) who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what he has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?





*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Andy: I grew up in Michigan near lots of rivers and lakes, which has been a lot of fun for me because most of my hobbies involve being outside. I like camping, hiking, spinning fire poi, swimming, and reading.

My childhood was pretty typical. I had a Mom and Dad, two younger sisters, and a younger full brother.

"Ryan", my older half-brother, lived with his mother. My Dad had signed over his rights to him. Ryan's mother's husband at the time adopted him and he moved to another state when I was still very young.  

I was a nerd in school because I wore rock t-shirts and ripped-up jeans. I kind of got picked on for it until the punk rock revival we had and I started playing in bands as a bass player.

I am in between jobs right now due to a bad allergic reaction I had. I've operating heavy machinery for five years now. I'm kind of a tomboy.




FME: What is your sexual orientation and relationship orientation?


Andy: I'd say that I am straight, although I have kissed a few girls. I enjoyed it, too, but I prefer men and monogamy. I'm not too keen on the idea if sharing. I think polyamory is great but I don't know how they do it. I'm not wired that way. I couldn't share my significant other.




FME: Are you married of have you ever been married?

Andy: I've been divorced for three years. Ryan and I are currently in a relationship and hoping to get married in the fall. Since our father is not on either one of our birth certificates we may have found our loophole for that.

A Unicorn Makes Three

If my recollection is correct, this is the 48th ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below is cogent and clearly able to consent to her relationship. She should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet in most states in the US (her country of residence) she could be criminally prosecuted and face other forms of discrimination if the wrong people found out about her relationship. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? Why shouldn't she be free to marry the father of her child?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what he has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Cheryl: I'm 44 yrs. old and up until six years. ago I was a devoted housewife. My son and I are from California but we now reside in Rhode Island.


FME: Are you married?

Cheryl: I'm legally divorced but ceremonially married to my son. It was just him and me and we exchanged vows and gave each other rings to symbolize our love.

Harvey Milk Day

May 22 is Harvey Milk Day. In California, the day was established in 2009 by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Milk was a politician who became the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in California when he won a seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Milk served almost 11 months in office,  passing an important gay rights ordinance for the city. On November 27, 1978, Milk and Mayor George Moscone were assassinated by Dan White, another city supervisor.

We don't make progress in the fight for civil rights without courageous and motivated people like Harvey Milk.

A Friendly Reminder

Stand up against hate & prejudice on #IDAHOT - International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia.

They Would Marry Today If They Could

If my recollection is correct, this is the 46th ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The couples interviewed below are attractive and articulate and clearly able to consent to their relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet they face discrimination and prejudice for their love and are denied the freedom to legally marry. They aren't hurting anyone; why should they have to hide their love or be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

This relationship could have been initiated through what we call Genetic Sexual Attraction.

BE WARNED that the discussion gets a bit explicit in some places.


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Anonymous Woman: I am 29 years old. I am an office manager of a local roofing company in [a Rocky Mountain state.] I am a writer and that is the job I love. I have a high school diploma and am close to completing my Associates in Psychology. I am Native American/American Indian, 5’1”, brown hair, brown eyes.

Anonymous Man: I’m 27. I am a white male. I have a high school diploma. I currently am in the military on the guard side. I work as a security officer in my civilian job. I like music. I believe it is a key to the soul and a way of self-expression.

The Husband Swap is Now Available

At independent.co.uk, Dina Rickman interviews our friend Louisa Leontiades about her experiences with ethical nonmonogamy and her new book, The Husband Swap

What did you learn from becoming polyamorous?

I think if there overarching lesson, not only from this kind of relationship but all of it, is to really try and love yourself with everything you do because if you don’t that hatred for yourself and dislike will be projected onto others and your low self esteem will lead to insecurity and jealousy and possessiveness and entitlement.

Relationships often bring growth and learning, and polyamorous relationships often mean more growth and learning.

Do you have a message for people who call you [a slut]?

I don’t tend to respond to “slut”. What I will respond to is reasoned argument and I haven’t found one yet that I can’t call out a logical fallacy or a societal norm that is assumed as a norm for everybody. The slut ones… It’s their opinion and they are entitled to their opinion but they’re not the people I’m trying to reach. Many people simply jump on the bandwagon.

For those it offends, any change or any difference in lifestyle or inclination that threatens the norm does threaten the establishment. Many of the minority movements have basically the same battle, where their choices, simply by being different have threatened other people’s sense of their own rightness. The mind sometimes equates being right with surviving, in order to survive people like to be right.

It's great to see that this book is now available!