
Full Marriage Equality
Advocating for the right of consenting adults to share and enjoy love, sex, residence, and marriage without limits on the gender, number, or relation of participants. Full marriage equality is a basic human right.
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Tuesday, August 26, 2025
We Keep Speaking Up For All
Saturday, August 23, 2025
Why Attempt to Suppress Affection?
Thursday, August 14, 2025
Consulting An Attorney If You Can't Legally Marry
But we don't have that yet.
So people in certain relationships face discrimination ranging from employment and housing discrimination, to denial of the freedom to marry, to imprisonment.
In the US, the people who help you with matters of law are called lawyers or attorneys. Other terms might be used in other countries.
In the US, you still can't be legally married to more than one person at the same time, and you can't be married to someone who is "too closely" related to you. (How close is "too close" varies by state.)
If you are in such a relationship, you can still have certain things similar to being legally married, such as:
- shared financial accounts and investments
- shared purchases, ownerships, and sales
- sharing a residence
- beneficiary or reciprocal beneficiary status
- hospital visitation
- being able to make decisions for one another should one of you become unable to communicate or dementia, memory loss, or mental illness necessitates someone else make decisions on your behalf
It might be worth it for you and your partner(s) to consult a family law and/or estate planning attorney. A good attorney can come up with the paperwork that will allow you to be responsible for each other, before and above anyone else.
What options work best for you and your partner(s) can be determined if you hire a good lawyer. Lawyers aren't cheap, but depending on what you want, their help can be worth it.
Saturday, August 9, 2025
Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Revelry
I caught my siblings making out, what should i do?
I caught my 16 year old sister and 17 year old brother making out, I don't really know what to do. To be honest I'm very shocked, and a bit disoriented thinking about it. They're both pretty attractive, I don't see why they would shack up with each other when they could go out and get people who... aren't related to them.For all we know, the teens "making out" with each other are both half-siblings to the asker, and unrelated to each other, or they could be stepsiblings or adopted siblings. Or, they could be half or full-blood siblings to each other. (It might have even been a reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction situation if the siblings have not been raised together.) Whatever their genetic, legal, and social relation, it isn't uncommon for siblings as close in age as they are, especially in their teens, to have such affection between them.
I want to tell ma and pa, but they begged me not to, don't really know how to approach this situation, Or if I should just respect their privacy. I guess I'm just worried about their mental health, but I guess that's pretty unfair of me to assume something is wrong with them.
What do i do?
Also, we don't know where they live, and thus whether or not they live somewhere where it is legal for a 17-year-old and 16-year-old to have sex with each other.
Most therapists consider such sibling behavior, absent any coercion, force, or intimidation, to be mutual experimentation or exploration.
In general, however, my advice to someone in the asker's position is to:
1. Confirm this is a voluntary activity. If observing wasn't enough, ask the younger/smaller/less assertive/more needy sibling if they are being pressured, intimidated, coerced, or forced in any way.
2. Respect their privacy. Start by reminding them it's a good idea to be discreet and promise you will knock.
3. Protect and support them.
4. If needed, assist them in accessing contraception and health care.
(See this extensive advice at The Final Manifesto for friends and family of consanguinamorous siblings.)
Saturday, August 2, 2025
Talk It Over and Discuss the Possibilities
People come to this blog because they are having feelings or experiences that are often met with prejudice elsewhere, or they know someone who is having such feelings or experiences. If you're not sure your partner(s) would accept your feelings or fantasies, the information below might help. Maybe you can show this to them and see if they'll agree to discussions.
Clinical psychologist David J. Ley, Ph.D. wrote something very helpful at psychologytoday.com titled "3 Ways to Meet Your Partner’s Sexual Ideals and Why You Should"...
Viewing your partner’s sexual ideals and needs as important and valuable protects and enhances your relationship. Even if you can’t meet your partners’ sexual ideals, sexual communion mitigates the degree to which that mismatch negatively impacts your relationship.
Ley goes on to describe how to start to use this. Although Ley is writing about partners, this also might be helpful for people who are not yet partners, such as if there is someone who is in your life as a family member or friend but you want to add a sexual bond to your relationship.
Nonjudgmental Listening. The best, first, and most important way that partners can express sexual communion with each other is by communicating about their sexual likes and dislikes, in a manner that involves respect and acceptance. Acknowledging and valuing your partners’ sexual preferences is a critical and meaningful way to let them feel valued and accepted as a person, within your relationship. Have a conversation (actually, it’s best to have lots of little conversations as opposed to just one big one) with your partner about their sexual needs and experiences. Try to make them feel like you are interested and curious about their sexuality. Believe it or not, this is as valuable in long-term relationships with decades of history as it is in fresher relationships. Most people never tell anyone, even their life partners, about their sexual fantasies and interests, for fear of rejection and judgment.
Emphasis mine. Listening is so important. Getting your partner(s) to open up and share with you is the way to grow and deepen the relationship.
Saturday, July 26, 2025
Tale as Old as Time
There are both allies and opponents of relationship rights and full marriage equality in just about every religion and among those who claim no religion, and I welcome allies no matter what tradition, if any, they prefer or reject.
With that out of the way…
Considering the Bible as literature, which anyone can do whether they are a devout Christian, a Deist, a Hindu, an Atheist, or an Antitheist or take some other path, one can see that the Bible implies, outright portrays, and further addresses consanguineous sex.
Frequently, someone will ask “Where did Cain get his wife?” or “Did Adam and Eve’s children have sex with each other?” or some variation. Whether someone considers this speculation about fanciful myths or actual history is irrelevant to analyzing what the text itself says.
Monday, July 21, 2025
Frequently Asked Question: Why Do Polyamorists Get Married?
The question is asked as though the person asking assumes that actual monogamy is a requirement for marriage. It isn’t in most places, even though current marriage laws will only allow monogamy in the legal sense.
For the purpose of this question and answer, I will include any form of honest nonmonogamy, or any label applied, such as open relationship, open marriage, swinging, swapping, polyamory, polyfidelity and polygamy.
Why do swingers get married?
Why do people in open relationships get married?
Why do polyamorous people get married?
The short answer is: For the same reason most other people get married. They want to get married, they think it is the best thing to do at that time in life, or they’re pressured.
Monday, July 14, 2025
Is It OK?
It is sometimes asked as "Is it wrong for me to have sex with...?"
The blank is filled with a personal relation, as opposed to a professional contact. A personal relation would be a cousin, stepbrother, sister-in-law, aunt, sibling, or someone else along those lines.
Here is the easiest way to determine if it is OK.
Ask yourself these three questions:
1) Are we both/all capable of consenting?
2) Do we both/all consent to this?
3) Is it compatible with any existing agreement with another or others that we each want to keep intact?
If the answer to all three questions is YES, then it is acceptable or OK. Some people might disapprove, but they don’t have to date or have sex with you or anyone else they don’t want to, and their opinion shouldn’t rule over your love life.
Unfortunately, in many places, there are still unjust laws discriminating against consenting adults for having sex, such as laws against gay sex or consanguineous sex or sex between certain steprelations. So while it is OK on the ethical sense, it might not be legal where you are, at least not yet. That's one of the reasons we are here to speak up for the rights of all adults. Nobody should be criminalized for sharing affection with other consenting adults.
Sunday, July 6, 2025
Is There Any Sexuality You Don't Support?
Someone asked me that question privately.
If by sexuality, one means gender identity or sexual orientation… I support people being free to be themselves, as long as they don’t force themselves on others (like predators of children).
Regarding sex…
I believe in the basic human rights of freedom of religion, association, expression, and assembly. Anything consenting adults do together should be up to them, and should not be something to be subjected to criminal prosecution, discrimination, or bullying. Nor should minors close in age be prosecuted or forced into “treatment” for having sex with each other.
I don't consider rape, assault, or child molestation to be "sex." I'm all for prosecuting for those.
I think if someone is at the age of consent for sex, that age of consent should also apply to being recorded or photographed. If someone wants to make videos of themselves to take pictures of themselves or let someone else do it, and they want to show it to others, and another person of the age of consent wants to view it, fine.
Regarding marriage…
I support the right to marry for everyone. An adult should be free to marry any and all consenting adults.
But…
My support of legal rights and protections does not mean I personally support all sex or marriages.
For example, I think it is a bad idea for, say, a woman who needs monogamy to have sex on the first date, and if a friend like that wants my "support" I would tell her no, it is a bad idea.
Another example… I think it is safe to say we’ve all known people who announced they were going to get married and we cringed (if only inside) because we didn’t think they were right for each other, or perhaps in a place in their lives where they were ready to be married.
I am also against cheating (but again, I don’t think it should be a criminal matter). Cheating is when someone breaks an existing vow to another through action, rather than informing the person(s) with whom they have the vow that the agreement is ending. There are married couples who have agreements that allow one or both of them to have sex with other people, and per those agreements doing so would not be cheating.
However, if someone tells me they are happily involved with their close biological relative, or two close biological relatives, and none of them are cheating to do it, then yes, I support them. I support happy, healthy same-gender relationships, interracial relationships, polyamorous relationships, intergenerational relationships (adults), and consanguinamorous relationships.
I am sex-positive. Sex is a good thing for many reasons. We’d be better off if more people were having more sex and sex that was more satisfying to them. So generally, I “support sex.” Those who don’t think sex is a good thing or talk as though it isn’t may be doing it wrong, or may have forgotten what it is like (certain asexuals excepted).
What about you? Are you sex-positive?
Wednesday, July 2, 2025
Equality, Life, Liberty, and Happiness
Connected to the day is the Declaration of Independence, which touts equality and notes that we have the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When the Declaration of Independence was written, equality was reserved for white, landowning, heterosexual, Christian males. Great strides have been made to extend equality to everyone else. As we know, equality just for some is not equality. In recent times, even if not everything has gone our way, we have seen many pro-equality court rulings and laws and we won’t let any regressive actions deter us.
More people are coming out of the closet, and more allies are coming out in support of equality. More people are free to marry, and now we have more polyamorous and polygamous people speaking up for their rights.
But we’re still on our journey. Equality, liberty, and the right to pursue happiness are, in many places in the US, and at the national government level, still denied to LGBTQ+ people in some ways. Even more so, these rights are denied to the polyamorous and the consanguinamorous. The US still struggles with racism.
Let’s keep moving forward so that an adult, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender, is free to pursue love, sex, kink, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults, and not be denied liberty, employment, housing, or anything else.
This isn't just a philosophical thing or a principle. There are people, good people, who are hurt by ongoing discrimination, prejudice, and ignorance. There are people just being themselves, hurting nobody, and people who are in loving, healthy relationships who are being denied their rights, who have to hide who they are or their love for each other, who constantly endure people proclaiming that the love they share is sick or disgusting or makes them worthy of being subjected to abuse or death. There are teenagers who have simply behaved as normal teenagers with each other and haven't hurt anybody (including each other or themselves) who are being lied to and told that nobody else is like them and they are depraved. That's no way to have to live, it certainly isn't liberty, and it squashes the pursuit of happiness.
They need to know they are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with them.
We need independence from hate and ignorance. So let's keep evolving America, and encourage other countries to do the same.
Saturday, June 28, 2025
Why Am I Polyamorous?

When someone asks me why I am polyamorous, I could talk about it for hours. But I'm going to keep it short here.
I have a polyamorous orientation. (No, not all men are polyamorous.)
In addition, I don’t need someone I'm seeing or with to only get those things from me. In fact, I am fortunate enough to experience compersion, so I tend to like it when someone I'm seeing or with also has good experiences and bonds with someone else.
I support your right to have the relationships to which you and your lovers mutually agree, and I hope you support mine.