Tuesday, April 17, 2012

One View of Polyamory

Sustainable Utopia has some thoughts on polyamory that resonate with me. I don't think I could have written these thought better...

I am 100% in favour of Polyamory. Now, before I lose half of my subscribers, let me tell you why.
Polyamory comes from the Greek poly, meaning many or several, and amor, or Love. Not many Lovers, Many Loves. Polyamory is not about exploring sexual relationships outside of a marriage, it’s not about being allowed to “cheat” on your partner and get away with it. It’s about the cultivation and nurturing of loving relationships between consenting individuals or groups. Can these relationships include sex? Of course. Do they have to? Not necessarily. It all depends on the previously agreed upon perimeters of the relationship in question.
Even with monogamous relationships, haven't we all been in or seen ones in which perimeters were not negotiated, and presented an ongoing problem, until the relationship ended?

Now let me tell you what polyamory is to me. Polyamory is simply the ability and desire to connect, engage and bond with other individuals in a state of love. It is the freedom to share deep and meaningful relationships with multiple people and not having to rely on one person to be your everything. It’s leaving behind possessiveness, jealousy and resentment in favour of communication, trust, negotiation and honesty. It’s knowing that loving more than one person does not mean that you love another person less, it means that your heart grows to accommodate more. Fidelity is not about being sexually or emotionally exclusive, it’s about being faithful to the agreements made in the relationships.
 Very well stated.

If you connect with more than one, and you feel that the connection would benefit from sexual intimacy, as long as all parties are consenting, honest and act with dignity, there is no reason why a person should refrain from physical contact.

Physical affection can take many forms, and is a good thing. As long as existing vows are not being violated, they physical contact is a good thing and should not be subject to prohibition by law.

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