Monday, April 23, 2012


As I've written before, LGBT people and polyamorous people are natural allies (and some people are both LGBT and poly). Here's just one example of a polyamory thread at a gay discussion forum.

JRiver, a bi man in an open gay relationship, kicked off the discussion...

It seems to me lots of guys have "open relationships," but that what is "open" is only the option to have sex with others -- so long as no lasting loving bond is created. This works okay for some people, but some of us just don't get into sex with strangers, or people we are not close to emotionally and otherwise. So polyamory is a good fit for some people, but lots of people don't seem to know it is an option. And most people seem to think polyamory is impossible, freakish, immoral, etc. That is, it is culturally taboo.

Spencer, a single transsexual man, responded...

As long as everyone is happy in their relationship I don't find anything wrong with it. I would be very uncomfortable in a relationship that was only open sexually but I actually think I would be very happy in a polygamist relationship but specifically I do not want to be the person with the multiple partners. It's kind of my secret fantasy to have husband-brothers....
East, a monogamous man in a gay monogamous relationship, wrote...

I got a very detailed 7 page long letter/proposal from someone about 3 years into our relationship. To cut to the chase..he wanted to become lovers with both of us. He happened to have been the best sexual experience I had ever had prior to my lover who became my new best sexual experience so I told my lover about it...he was intrigued...and we developed a sexual relationship based on pure lust. It rocked...we had a great time and we were and still are...good friends

......the intimacy thing just did not happen but we were both open to it...just wasn't there. I know he wanted it to be and eventually I had to tell him that it wasn't gonna work as was a nice idea though and the proposal was intriguing and the sex was intense...glad we did it.

Even the responses from people who said they could never handle a polyamorous relationship showed solidarity for those who are polyamorous. That's a good sign. JRiver noted that many poly people are closeted.

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