Friday, March 30, 2012

A Polyamorous Married Couple Explains

Melissa Chapman wrote about polyamory at, and includes this disclaimer...
I'll be the first to say this; I can't imagine being in a marriage in which my husband and I slept with people outside of our union.
That doesn't stop her from looking in to polyamorous married couples and writing about it, specifically with a question-and-answer session.
Can you be out about it with your family and friends?
We don't flaunt it, but we don't necessarily hide it. How we handle it also depends on who we are dealing with. My mom is a very conservative Christian who never understood. However, my 23 yr old daughter is aware and understands as well as my brother.
Allies are great people.
Do you feel it's an unfair stigma placed on you as well as other couples who choose this married lifestyle?
Somewhat, yes. Because being poly is so socially out of the norm from the monogamous minded population, it is often unimaginable to them. People tend to believe we love each other less if we are willing to allow our spouse to love someone else. I think it means we love each other more for the same reason.
Perspective can make all of the difference. Chapman asks for the four biggest misconceptions about "the sexual married life you have chosen"...
1. Being polyamorous is the same thing as swinging. It is not. Swinging is typically casual, short term and non-committal. Being poly is realizing you can love and commit to more than one person. If you have a child, you will love that child with all your heart. When you have second child, can you not love that child with all your heart as well? Different as night and day they may be, but you love them tremendously for who they are. Love is not finite.
Read the rest here. More people are learning about polyamory, and that's a good thing.
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