Monday, April 11, 2011

Orientation, Preference, and Especially Swinging

Nancy Sutton Pierce, registered nurse and health educator, and the founding director of Nancy Sutton’s House of Yoga, provides information for those curious about swinging in “As You Desire: Swinging – It’s Not Child’s Play – Part 1” and Part 2.

I'd like to clarify something from my last column on sexual orientation. There IS a difference between sexual orientation and sexual preferences. Sexual orientation is defined by whom we are attracted to. There are four general categories: asexual (no sexual desire), homosexual (same sex attraction), heterosexual (attracted to the opposite sex) and bi-sexual (attracted to both sexes). I will be adding a fifth category to this concept, which is simply SEXUAL (attracted to one sex primarily but comfortable with and able to enjoy being in sexual situations with either sex, aka "try-sexual").

I think there should be subcategories to sexual orientation, if we are using the definition she provided. For example, there are people who are primarily or only attracted to a certain race or certain races. There are also consanguinamorous people who are attracted to close relatives on a stronger level than nonrelatives. So, for example, a woman is is attracted to her sisters more than anyone else would be a consanguinamorous lesbian.

Sexual preference is about how we choose to play sexually. I did blur these in the last column and want to be clear about these differences. That being said, what I will be talking about in this column is about blurring those lines between sexual orientation and sexual preference in the world of "the lifestyle," aka swinging.

She interviewed swingers, asking and answering these questions…

In Part 1

Why were you drawn to this lifestyle?
Which one of you broached the subject of getting into the Lifestyle and how?
Is it true that more men initiate getting into the Lifestyle than women?
Many believe that people in this lifestyle are typically "sex addicts" and "perverts." What do you say?
Is there pressure within the group to do things you are not comfortable doing?
Describe a Lifestyle event. I have an image of a huge orgy ... is that what happens?
What are the most common sexual curiosities within the lifestyle groups you've been involved with?

In Part 2

How do you keep safe from STDs, HIV, HPV, etc.?
Do you get tested, and/or have to show proof of testing to be a part of the group?
How do you handle jealousy and the possibility of emotional attachment?
Have you noticed a difference in the frequency of divorce between your lifestyle and "vanilla" (mainstream) friends?
How has this affected your relationship with your spouse?
The bottom line is that you are having sex with someone other than your partner - so how is this different from any other form of infidelity, cheating or affair?
If it's so great, why isn't everyone in the lifestyle?
Is there a natural progression or "glide path" that is experienced? In other words, do you start with watching and years later find yourself needing the orgy to feel satisfied?
Is it illegal to be a swinger?

Not being a swinger myself, I appreciate the peek into the lifestyle. Or, as they would say, I like to watch.
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