Monday, April 11, 2011

Being Open Works For Him

The Relationship Experiment is a blog that is “Exploring our Turned On Minds and Bodies Through Open Relationship.” The blogger answers “Why Polyamory?”

After a series of failed monogamous relationships, I decided to try something new.

I had experienced the gamut of traditional relationships: being faithful, being cheated on, being the cheater, jumping from one relationship to another and taking time of for reflection in between. Friends with benefits. F
[---] buddies. How can you have sex with no feelings or emotions? Being verbally abused. A beautiful but tragically violent woman who smashed the front window to my house, screaming, sending me to jail and breaking my heart in the process. The neighbors called 911 for her protection, but I was the one who was truly scared. Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned, and I hadn’t even scorned her!

After all that, the idea of open relationships wasn’t so scary. If I hadn’t found what I was looking for in conventional ones, what was the risk in looking outside the box? After 7 years, this is what I’ve learned:

1. Open relationships have been the best way for me to give and receive unconditional love.
2. Open relationships have been the single most effective instrument in helping me release my issues surrounding jealousy and insecurity.
3. Being in more than one relationship usually improves all the relationships.
4. Open relationships have taught me greater sensitivity and communication with my partners – in other words, they make me a better man.

Your mileage may vary. I’ll again point out that polyarorous is not synonymous with open. There are polyamorous relationships that are closed, or practicing polyfidelity. I wouldn’t call all open relationships polyamorous. But yes, there are polyamorous people who are in open relationships. In any case, adults should have the freedom to have the relationships they choose with each other, without the law or hateful discrimination.
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