Happy Halloween!

Is it true what I've heard, that outside the US Halloween is no big deal? Halloween is October 31 and it is celebrated widely and diversely here in the US.

Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event?

Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. There are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.

Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past.

For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.

Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies.

So, as always, feel free to comment or share your stories.

Interesting Search of the Day

Someone found this blog in the past day by searching...

confessions of woman who had incest when they were young and still do it now they are married

We noted so many times the how the term "incest" is way too vague. There could be several different things going on here.

It appears the person meant "women" (plural) instead of woman. The person could be referring to sisters or female cousins or even close-in-age aunts & nieces who, as minors, experimented with each other, found they liked to be together, and have kept getting together.

It could also be about heterosexual interactions, but only from the perspective of the women involved.

"Young" can still mean an adult, so it could be women who were adults who were involved with significantly older relatives, such as a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle.

"Had" gives  the connotation of consensual interaction, but if this person is really talking about a significantly older adult with a minor, that is a different matter from the other possibilities, because then the search is about someone who was groomed and conditioned and is still interacting with the person or persons who had been their abusers.

Now let's get to the other part of this...They still do it now that they are married.

The More, the Better

The more and more places we see basic introductions to polyamory, the better, as long as they aren't erroneous. Here's another basic introduction by Genesis Napel at theoakleafnews.com...

Polyamory, or poly relationships, aren’t “swinging,” “open” or cheating.

Some polyamorous relationships are open. Some. Some are closed. Some are partially open, meaning one or more people in the relationship are open to new lovers, but not everyone in the relationship is. Some polyamorous people are involved in swinging.

Poly is consensual, honest and compassionate connections between three or more people in which all parties are informed of the relationship(s) status.

That's the bare bones explanation. It could be as simple as one person who is seeing two people, and those two people know each other exist and know they are dating the same person, even if those two (who are metamours) never meet.

It’s not about having more sexual partners, it’s about having more romantic connections.

Usually, yes, but it doesn't even have to be romantic, at least not in a traditional sense. It just has to be more than what people would consider "platonic" friends.

The notion that once you are in a relationship it becomes immoral to so much as bat eyes with another person is ludicrous.

Agreed.

In poly relationships the option is open to explore new connections outside of the one already engaged in.

Sometimes they explore new connections, sometimes they don't.

Poly relationships can take many different forms and the guidelines of each are decided by those involved.

That is very important. They are deciding for themselves and together, not letting someone else decide for them.

If you sleep with other people and you don’t tell your partner or its not part of your agreement, that’s cheating just like in any other relationship.

Yes.

It's not a bad basic explanation.

A Friendly Therapist

Meredith Head at badgerherald.com profiles a therapist working in the Madison, Wisconsin area that is what we've been looking for.

Head opens  the piece talking about the problem of dealing with therapists who are sex-negative, or ignorant of diversities in desires and expressions, negative reactions to kink and polyamory.

More conservative psychologists or psychiatrists might simply refuse to treat populations exhibiting sexual problems or seeking help with communicating kinky desires to a partner.

Therapists might diagnose clients with disorders of sex or gender, turning perfectly healthy alternative sexualities into a problem to be treated.

Not good. So it is helpful to have people like Jay Blevins...

A Double Love With Rights Denied

This blog has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man and woman interviewed below are clearly able to consent to their relationship. They should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry. Yet they could be criminally prosecuted and face other forms of discrimination if the wrong people found out about their relationship. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights?

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, or even think it fits certain prejudicial stereotypes, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?

***WARNING: THE DISCUSSION IN THE INTERVIEW IS BRIEFLY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT***


*****


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Tell us about yourselves.

James: I'm 19 and I live in a trailer with my mom in West Virginia.

Katherine: I'm 35.


FME: Does anyone else live with you?

James: We currently live alone together.

Katherine: That's right, just the two of us.

Pledge For Candidates Seeking Elected Office

We should insist political candidates take this pledge:

I, _________, hereby affirm I do and will support the rights of all adults to marriage, domestic partnership, civil union, cohabitation, and personal consortium, and any of those without the others, and that these rights shall not be abridged nor denied by the United States or any state on account of sex, gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, ancestry, consanguinity, affinity, or number of participants; that all should live without discrimination and pursue their consensual relationships with each other regardless of gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities.

Feel free to adapt this to your country, territory, or province.

Coming Out Day 2016

Even with last year's US Supreme Court decision bringing all states online with the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry, and some recent laws enacted for the protection and rights of LGBT people, life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is Tuesday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.

Jane Expresses Solidarity

Our dear friend Jane has done it again. If you don't follow her blog, which is primarily about consanguinamory, you should! Here's her latest, about the overlap between consanguinamory and polyamory (which would include people like this)...

I would wager that poly regulars are usually more open minded than mono regulars because they also face discrimination and bashing from society.

While that may be the case for more polyamorous people than the general population, there are still some polyamorous people who are prejudiced against consanguinamorous people. But then, there are consangs who are prejudiced against polyamorous people. Jane does go on to note that. It's unfortunate. Solidarity is the way to go. We need solidarity to secure and protect the rights of all adults.

Another reason I bring it up is to break down some of the negative stereotypes. Consanguinamorous people are often described as ‘desperate’, where poly people have been stereotyped as sexually immoral or promiscuous, which is far from the truth. There are many closed polycules where there is no cheating going on, cheating is STILL AGAINST THE RULES in polyamory. It’s not about how many people they can shag and get away with it, it’s about developing and maintaining multiple loving relationships in an arrangement that everyone is happy with. Likewise consanguinamorous people are clearly NOT in such relationships due to being unable to find anyone else, we end up in such relationships because of the overwhelming double-love we feel. It is frustrating to many people that such assumptions are made with so little thought. I realize that making assumptions is sometimes human nature, but come on people, REALLY?

Click through to read the whole thing.

On the flip side of throwing each other under the bus is the reality that some people who are in one of these categories are more likely to experiment in the other. It is likely more the general population would, but they've internalized prejudices an thus artificially limit their sexuality for no good reason. Some people who are polyamorous or consanguinamorous realize that crossing one "taboo" didn't end the world, and was even of great benefit, so so they are more willing to put aside similar prejudices about the other category. Again, that's only some. Some people are monogamous, and being consanguinamorous will never change that, while others are polyamorous and have a strong experience with the Westermarck Effect and will never have any interest in consanguinamory (at least, outside of Genetic Sexual Attraction).

The bottom line to all of this is that no matter what your boundaries, attractions, orientation, or turn-offs, we should all support the rights of all adults to be treated equally, with the freedom to pursue their relationships.

More Reading: The Invisible Asterisk

We Get Letters From Nephews About Lifelong Romance

Anonymous commented on this entry and left us wanting to know more about his consanguinamorous relationship and his life in general. I didn't publish this comment in place because we try to avoid expletives on this blog, since some people already find the content controversial enough.

The following is my two cent's worth on this subject. At about the age of 21, I experimented with a relationship with one of my Mom's sisters to initiate a relationship with her. I was surprised to learn she had just as much interest in dating/loving me.

People get so nervous about making a move, and usually for good reason. But sometimes, they find out the feelings are mutual, or that after thinking about it, the other person realizes they would like to try taking the relationship in a new direction after all. These relationships happen more than people think.

She was 26 years older than I was, but we had such good chemistry together. she was very pretty and so much fun to be with.

Intergenerational relationships can be great. It's a matter of who is involved.

Forget It, Jake, It's Florida

Jaya Saxena at dailydot.com debunked a story that recently made the rounds about a Florida man marrying his granddaughter...

Earlier today, sites like Cosmopolitan and the Sun aggregated a story credited to the Florida Sun Post, which reported that a 68-year-old man had married his 24-year-old granddaughter. Their biological relation was unbeknownst to both of them until, according to the story, they were flipping through a photo album together and she saw a photo of her estranged father, who happened to be her new husband’s son.

While this particular story appears to be a fake, something like this has probably happened more than once as far as marriage and has certainly happened many times with relationships that don't involve marriage, due to Genetic Sexual Attraction. There are grandparents and their adult children who've had flings and one night stands who never realized they were related.

How many people know the extended family of each person with whom they have sex? When it comes to flings, one night stands, and hookups, they sometimes don't even know the real name of the person their with, and it no doubt happens at swinger parties and other casual encounters. Who compares IDs, family trees, and DNA tests in these situations?

Unless you're positive a birth didn't result (which is not always so easy for someone with a penis), anyone younger than the time since your earliest experiences with intercourse (or sperm or egg donation) could be your genetic child. Add as little as 13 years between your ages and the person could be your genetic grandchild.

There are also people who don't know that the man they think is their biological father isn't, either because of sperm donation, or an affair, the conception being from a prior relationship, or ethical nonmonogamy. This also means they could have a genetic grandfather they don't know.

But let's get back to the article...

The Twitter account @_FloridaMan, which chronicles the weirdest Florida news, tweeted that floridasunpost.com was only registered three days ago, implying that there’s no way it could be a credible news outlet.

These sorts of things seems to be more and more common.

The Daily Dot has reached out to the Florida Sun Post regarding the story through a contact form on its website, which, after hitting “submit,” said “Thank you for contacting Boston Leader.” You may remember the Boston Leader for being the site that started the fake story about the baby gorilla named “Harambe McHarambeface.” So yes, this story is probably fake.

Probably.

And for now, we can all rest knowing that there is one less 24-year-old married to her grandpa. 

Although that was probably written in jest, there are some young women married to their grandfather, or at least in a relationship with him, whether they know of his relation or not. There are probably also young women with their grandmother, and young men with a grandparent. Some people say they are against adult intergenerational relationships, with "He's old enough to be your grandfather." Well, sometimes he is. And as long as they mutually agree to be together, that shouldn't be a problem.

Are You Watching Shameless?

This report at hollywoodreporter.com explains how polyamory figures into season 7 of the Showtime show, which started last night (Sunday).

In season seven of the Showtime dramedy, Kevin (Steve Howey), Veronica (Shanola Hampton) and Svetlana (Isidora Goreshter) will evolve their “thrupple” from a string of threesomes and a green-card marriage into one big happy family that includes working and raising kids together as the John Wells-produced series explores polyamory.

Interesting.

Although sex remains a large part of their storyline — including what the cast previews as a “giddy up” punishment scene — it’s not the focal point of their story or the series as a whole.

“Now you've gotten past the whole sex stuff, you just see them just doing the day-to-day,” Hampton previews of season seven, which kicks off Sunday. “It picks up with them doing their schedule — who's going to the bar to work, who's taking care of the kids, who’s doing breakfast, and yes, who’s having sex — and being a regular family.”

This is one of the things that needs to be represented on television.

Polyamory isn’t the only thing that will make Kev, Vee and Svetlana’s relationship unique as none of the three characters will follow any gender stereotypes as well this season.

“When Kev stays home with the kids, he wants to be a great dad and play and not clean. When the women come home and they say, ‘I work all day and what are you doing?’ I channeled what I imagine would be a 1950s conversation,” Pimental explains. “We had a lot of fun with that, and they are all so great in helping us flip traditional roles on their heads.”

Says Hampton: “That adds another layer to the fact that we’re an interracial couple and that’s never been an issue in seven seasons."

Are you watching? What do you think?

Here's the coverage at Polyamory in the News, which is a great place to keep up to date.