Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Woman Denied Her Freedom to Marry

"Loving Daughter" is a beautiful young adult who generously agreed to be interviewed for this blog. She has found love with an available man and would marry him, but she can't even be open with the totality of her love for him, due to prejudice expressed in unjust laws and bullying. Here is yet another reason we need full marriage equality sooner rather than later.


FME: What can you tell me about your background?

Loving Daughter: I was raised in a small town of 3,000 in [a southern US state], by very, very devout southern baptists. I wore a purity ring, was raised to hate gays and black people. When I went off to college a (private christian college) my parents and I started bumping heads because I was starting to think for myself and develop my own views and beliefs. I left home and moved in with my [boyfriend] and then got pregnant, then later married him.

You are now in a relationship with your biological father, correct? This is a loving relationship that includes making love?

Yes and yes. I'm 22, he's 41.

How would you describe the nature of your relationship with your father?

The best description would be my soulmate. He completes me.

When and how did you first make contact, and what was it like meeting him for the first time?

I first met him 3 years ago after he found me on a social networking site. We had no contact at all growing up. My mom got pregnant with me in high school, then left the state.

When did you first notice you had feelings for him? Were they romantic, sexual, curious, an intense attraction, what?

Well, he never felt like a "father" to me. I knew he was my dad but I just didn't feel like he was. He was more of a man to me, like any other man you would meet. I thought he was very handsome. I didn't know what the attraction was at first. I couldn’t place it but I knew something was there

How did you start making love with each other?

One night we had too much tequila. It started with me touching his thigh then he kissed me then we both came alive. We later freaked out… especially me, I couldn't believe I had sex with my father. It took me a couple days to calm down and collect myself. I thought I was a freak, going crazy!! We agreed to try it sober, and when we did it was just as intense we wanted to make sure that the feelings were there without the use of alcohol.

It was so intense, passionate, and electrifying that it's almost unreal. I was married for two years to my ex husband and that was nothing compared to this. It's like something came alive inside of me. I've never wanted a man so badly. I couldn't stop smiling afterwards. I had never been so happy.

How do you feel about the lovemaking side of your relationship?

The lovemaking is absolutely amazing, the passion is so intense and it's definitely an extension of our love.

Do you have feelings for other close biological relative that are anything like the ones you have for your father, whether they are as intense or not?

No, I haven't.

Are you involved with anyone else?

We are monogamous.

Who else knows the full, true nature of your relationship, and how did they find out? How have they reacted?

My best friend; she screamed at first, but then said to do whatever makes me happy.

He has two [preteen children] and I have a son who's 2 from a previous marriage. His ex wife called CPS and they questioned us. We denied everything, and they accused us of having our kids in an unhealthy environment, which made me wonder what's unhealthy about it?? We started being more discreet around the kids about our affection. We try not to be physical at all in front of them, but they are accepting that we rare a couple now. They even asked if I was gonna marry him.

What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your love?

I don't blame them. Until you experience it for yourself you cannot truly understand

Would you get legally married to him if you could, and if that included protection from things such as bullying and workplace discrimination based on your relationship?

In a heartbeat, I will never stop loving him. Finding each other was fate. He is my destiny and my future. I don't know if I've ever been in love before, but this is it. I know now what love is.

Do you have any plans for the future?

We do, we hope to one day have a child and live together as a bonded family

What advice do you have to someone who has romantic or sexual feelings for a close biological relative?

Do your research, you are not a freak and you’re not alone :)


There you have it. Another loving couple denied the freedom to marry, or even be open with their love.

There is no reason that she should be denied the right to marry the man she loves. Not everyone is going to be comfortable with the idea of sex and marriage between close biological relatives, but we're not all going to want each other's love lives, and that's okay, as long as we don't deny others their right to choose.

In interviewing (and sometimes observing) the people in these consanguinamorous relationships, and in talking with more people I haven't interviewed, there is a consistent thread to be found in such relationships. That thread is that the relationships are stronger, more intense, and more enjoyable than any others experienced; nothing else compares.

Since there is no rational reason to discriminate against them and deny them full marriage equality, won't you help bring about that equality sooner rather than later, so that and adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults?

Previous interviews:

A sister married to her brother in every way but under the law

A daughter whose father wants to marry her

A son who wants to marry his mother

A father who wants to marry his daughter

Brother whose lifelong lover is his twin sister

A man whose husband is his brother

A mother, daughter, and son who want to marry

If you'd like to share your own story related to a "prohibited" consensual relationship, you can contact me via fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com or on Facebook.
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  1. I think this is wonderful - a father and daughter coming together in love. I'm especially happy that they plan to have a child together. I just wish the same thing for them that I wish for my brother and me - that they could get married. I want to wish them good luck and I hope they have a very happy life together.


    A link to a petition to end the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) now and push forward legislation for the Respect of Marriage Act.

    Please share. 39,887 signatures and counting.


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