Teach Your Children Well

LaSara Firefox Allen wrote about teaching children about sex as part of sex-positive parenting.

Why does “family friendly” translate to “devoid of any sexual content”?

How are we supposed to have an open conversation with our kids about sex when we can’t have a rational conversation about it as adults?

Good questions.

But here’s the simple truth; we have bodies. We have sex. And according to science, sex is good, and good for us!

Our culture is saturated with sexualized images. It’s drenched in sexual terminology. Sexual energy is a foundational part of social interaction.

Not all of these things are always positive. Many sexualized images are not sex-positive, and much of the sexual terminology at play in the social lexicon of the schoolyard is down-right negative.

But in our blanket negation of sexual expression as part of a healthy life, or even a healthy spiritual reality, we in effect take ourselves out of the conversation.

Not a good thing.

But a question you may want to ask yourself is, “Where do I want my kid getting his/her information about sex from?”

The best tool we can offer our children is sexual literacy.

Sexual literacy begins with awareness and appropriate education. The information you hand down to your child will inevitably be flavored by your own values, morals and ethics. So the more clear you are on what those values, ethics, and morals are, the more consciously you will be able to help your child gain literacy, and develop their own ethical structure.

Parents are often uncomfortable with the sexuality of their children (and likewise, children often are when it comes to that of their parents). But it is child neglect to try to shield children from all knowledge of sex. I’m not talking about sitting a five-year-old down who had been busy coloring and explaining intercourse, but rather, as the writer of the piece does, answering questions asked with truthful, age-appropriate answers.

Please note that there is a difference between discussing sex and relationships with your children in a way that will make the informed, independent adults capable of making good decisions… and grooming your children to be your sexual or emotional prey, just as there is a difference between affection and molestation. As my readers know, I do not think it is problematic if an independent adult develops something with a parent.

Also, see my recent answer to “Is There Any Sexuality You Don’t Support?”