Thursday, December 30, 2010

Solidarity From Will O’Bryan

Will O’Bryan, who is gay, wrote a great piece over the controversy surrounding the comparisons made to the David Epstein situation and same-sex relationships, expressing his solidarity with those of us who want consanguineous lovers to allowed their happiness. First, though, he expresses concerns about statements by the lawyer for David Esptein

Of course, the reasonable, conventional reflex from the gay community and its allies would be an utter repudiation of that rationale, with arguments, diagrams and psychoanalysis as to why incest and homosexuality are apples and oranges.

They are different categories of sexuality. There are some consanguineous same-sex couples, for example. But both categories fall under “consenting adults.”

He also see’s Saletan’s point

The portion of Saletan's argument that boils down to the gay taboo of same-sex lovin' being the only avenue available for gay people, while someone with an incestuous attraction could simply look elsewhere, has some merit.

What gives anyone the right to tell consenting adults they have to look elsewhere instead of to each other?

Thankfully, he goes on to express a high level of solidarity.

In the ways that we've strained to outdo our oppressors, which seems a common reaction among the oppressed, aiming to prove we can surpass whatever hurdles our oppressors place before us, we perhaps emulate them in ways that make me as uncomfortable as a God-fearing, GOProud, married gay parent with four children and a golden lab when the leather/BDSM float passes at the pride parade.

Those who have been told to stand at the back of the bus should not be so quick to throw others under it. Instead, we should all join together and insist that we all should have equal access to sit in the bus.

I will grant that incest and homosexuality are not the same things, particularly when it comes to a parent and child. But I may also feel uncomfortable when I see an employer bedding an employee or a teacher fooling around with a pupil. But I'm not going to feel threatened if someone equates the two for the sake of legal argument. Why should I feel uncomfortable?

Thank you.

The human norm evolved so that we have two sexes, each sexually attracted to the opposite, leading to reproduction. That norm has often been enshrined into law. But I don't want to submit to such laws because I am gay. If I was one of those kinky Bel Ami ''twincest'' twins, Milo and Elijah Peters, considering my brother my boyfriend, I might also resent the laws against incest. I can promise, however, my straight brother and I will never be getting it on. That does not, however, put me in any position to support a law telling Milo and Elijah they can't do their (highly lucrative) thing.

Thanks again.

So I just can't get that worked up about two grown people having an incestuous relationship. Even in the case of the Epsteins where a line has been crossed between parent and child and there may be psychological fallout for years to come for the latter, she was an adult when this began.

Don’t we all know people, perhaps ourselves, who have been emotionally scarred from nonconsanguineous relationships with people roughly the same age? Infatuation or love always brings such potential. Relationships can end up hurting, but they can also bring much happiness. Either way, as long as the participants consented, the law should not be against it. O’Bryan eloquently gives one reason why…

And for those who do care, who demand laws to prevent this sort of thing, who are you kidding? I don't really know how such laws might affect the incestuous, but I can tell you that attempts to ban homosexuality did little more than ruin lives – of the persecuted, of those forced into unhappy marriages, and sometimes the children of those marriages. They did not help society. And with or without such laws, the number of gay people remains the same.

Yes. It seems that the greatest harms caused by these relationships are, ironically, caused by the fact that others try to interfere in them with laws, violence, harassment, and insults.

I've been told my sexual expression is disgusting, though that was far truer 20 or 30 years ago. Now that I can get married and join the Army, I could wrap myself in propriety and call others disgusting. Because of my experience, having to consider and dissect and wear my sexuality for decades, rather than simply take it for granted, I cannot. Instead, I grant that if two – or 10 – adults consent to sexual activity, it's really none of my business. If the thought of it makes me feel foul, I will think about something else.

Brilliant. Amazingly brilliant. Thank you, Will O’Bryan.
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1 comment:

  1. sex and gender are not the same thing.


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