Translate

Friday, December 3, 2010

Not All Nonmonogamy is Polyamory

Lacey Mason of the Daily Nebraskan considers polyamory. Not for her, but in general.

My friend announced this weekend that she and her husband are now in an open relationship. Also known as polyamory (having multiple romantic partners), the relationship was met with some controversy.

"Open" and "polyamorous" are not the same thing. There are polycules that are closed. There are also people who consider themselves monogamous in that they only love each other and live with each other, but are open to having someone join them for sex, not a social relationship.

She felt that sexually exclusive relationships could work for some but were a fight against nature.

For some people, they are.

I cringe at the thought of unprotected people sleeping with people who are sleeping with other people who are also unprotected. If just one has an STI, everyone has an STI.

That's the way it works in serial monogamy, too.

Polyamory also isn't for the insecure or codependent. An open relationship only works when both partners are in it together. There needs to be the utmost transparency, open communication, trust and, above all, respect. The partners in a committed relationship still need to put each other first, and if one partner decides they are no longer interested in the arrangement, it needs to end for both.

I'm in total agreement.

So, is polyamory right or wrong? There's no steadfast answer. If you aren't into it, it's probably not right. But when two consenting adults are, it's probably not wrong.

That's a good way of looking at it. Let consenting adults choose for themselves. Let people marry, or not, the person or persons they want to marry.
— — —

No comments:

Post a Comment

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

If you want to write to me privately, then either contact me on Facebook, email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com, or tell me in your comment that you do NOT want it published. Otherwise, anything you write here is fair game to be used in a subsequent entry. If you want to be anonymous, that is fine.

IT IS OK TO TALK ABOUT SEX IN YOUR COMMENTS, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AS I WANT THIS BLOG TO BE AS "SAFE FOR WORK" AS POSSIBLE. If your comment includes graphic descriptions of activity involving minors, it's not going to get published.