It’s Good to Hear From You

People reach out to me, Keith, from all over the world. It’s good to hear from you, whether you’re just passing along that you appreciate this blog, or you’re experienced in what this blog discusses, or you want to be.

The best ways to reach me are either via email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or the Wire messaging app at fullmarriageequality. I’m present at some other places, too, like Facebook, X, Quora, and Reddit.

Sometimes, someone will contact me to share something with me and then immediately disappear. That’s fine, if you just wanted to express appreciation or tell “somebody” about your experiences. (You can also do that by commenting anonymously on posts here.) But if you want any assistance or an ongoing conversation, disappearing isn’t helpful. Stick around and you’ll probably be glad you did.

I understand that reaching can take courage, and even after you have, you might decide to pull back. But I’m just here to help. I do this out of love. I don’t even accept tips; I don’t have advertising. I want to help, and be a friendly connection. This is all a labor of love. So, reach out and stay connected. It’s good to hear from you.

The Consanguinamorous and Allies Have a Place to Talk

If you're consanguinamorous or have ever been in a consanguinamorous relationship or have had sex with a close relative or want to, are experiencing Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction, you're a friend or family member of someone who is, or you're an ally in general, there is a good forum for you called Kindred Spirits. It's free, so come check it out, sign up with a username, and follow the instructions. The forum is based in France, which has no laws against consenting adults being consanguinamorous, but the forum is in English.

Kindred Spirits is a place to discuss both your struggles and the positive things about consanguinamory. There are multiple sections so, whether your having trouble or you're in bliss, you are welcome to participate. Connecting with others helps you and helps those others.

Please note:

• Kindred Spirits is for people considering consanguinamory or who have been involved in consanguinamory, or experiencing Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction, and allies, and supportive or curious friends and family.
• It is NOT for anyone under the age of 18.
• The forum is porn-free. There are plenty of other places to find porn with consanguinamory themes, so don't bother trying to find it at KS.
• The forum is not for incest fetishists or anyone else looking for fap material. Again, there are plenty of other places for that.
• The forum is not a place for haters to express their bigotry, prejudice, and ignorance. You're doing that in many other places.
• The forum is not for any adult who engages in, or wants to advocate, abusing minors or abusing anyone.

Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Revelry

I used to be active on a certain Big Online Portal's question-and-answer feature, answering questions related to full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults, and occasionally questions about teenager sexuality. I still read what goes on there. Every once in a while, someone will ask a question like this...

I caught my siblings making out, what should i do?

I caught my 16 year old sister and 17 year old brother making out, I don't really know what to do. To be honest I'm very shocked, and a bit disoriented thinking about it. They're both pretty attractive, I don't see why they would shack up with each other when they could go out and get people who... aren't related to them.

I want to tell ma and pa, but they begged me not to, don't really know how to approach this situation, Or if I should just respect their privacy. I guess I'm just worried about their mental health, but I guess that's pretty unfair of me to assume something is wrong with them.

What do i do?

For all we know, the teens "making out" with each other are both half-siblings to the asker, and unrelated to each other, or they could be stepsiblings or adopted siblings. Or, they could be half or full-blood siblings to each other. (It might have even been a reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction situation if the siblings have not been raised together.) Whatever their genetic, legal, and social relation, it isn't uncommon for siblings as close in age as they are, especially in their teens, to have such affection between them.

Also, we don't know where they live, and thus whether or not they live somewhere where it is legal for a 17-year-old and 16-year-old to have sex with each other.

Most therapists consider such sibling behavior, absent any coercion, force, or intimidation, to be mutual experimentation or exploration.

In general, however, my advice to someone in the asker's position is to:

1. Confirm this is a voluntary activity. If observing wasn't enough, ask the younger/smaller/less assertive/more needy sibling if they are being pressured, intimidated, coerced, or forced in any way.

2. Respect their privacy. Start by reminding them it's a good idea to be discreet and promise you will knock.

3. Protect and support them.

4. If needed, assist them in accessing contraception and health care.

(See this extensive advice at The Final Manifesto for friends and family of consanguinamorous siblings.)

World AIDS Day

December 1 is World AIDS Day.

It is very important to remember those we've lost to AIDS, to care for anyone battling AIDS, and to care for anyone with HIV.

We must continue to work for a cure, an inoculation, and continue to fight the spread of HIV.

We should also never forget that stigmas, ignorance, bigotry, sex-negative attitudes and shaming helped spread HIV and AIDS.

Let's continue to work for a better culture in which people aren't shamed and marginalized for their sexuality, nor discriminated against or stigma tized for getting HIV or getting sick.

An Additional Perspective on Mothers and Sons

 

If you're a regular visitor to Full Marriage Equality, you are familiar with the many interviews posted here with people who are in, or have been in, "forbidden" relationships. This time, we present an interview with someone who has extensive knowledge of, and experience counseling people regarding, familial affection, especially between mothers and sons. He brings his own, distinct perspective.

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

David: I'm a 50 year old Asian American man, college and self educated. Heterosexual. I'm both employed and self-employed. I am a spiritualist but I have also explored many religions and I have great respect for people's faiths in what I do. I have multiple income streams. I currently reside in the Western United States. 

Transgender Day of Remembrance

On November 20, especially, we remember transgender people killed by hatred and ignorance. It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

For all transgender people reading this:

We value you. You are valid. You deserve to live your life free of prejudice, free of being attacked for who you are.

We are going to help make things better sooner rather than later.

We are with you.

We remember those who aren’t with us anymore. We support those who are.

Planning For The Holidays

The year-end holidays are coming up. In the US, that is kicked off with Thanksgiving, which is the fourth Thursday in November. This year that the 23rd. That has traditionally meant seeing family, such as parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc.

If you might be getting together with family for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Winder Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve/Day, or any other holiday coming up, you might be facing specific decisions and considerations, especially if you're in an interracial relationship or an age gap relationship, or are LGBTQ+, nonmonogamous, consanguinamorous, or are exploring/living out kinks and certain dynamics:

• Avoiding hostile people
• Keeping closeted
• Coming out
• Making a move

You are under no obligation to spend holidays with people who are hostile to you because of your gender, orientation, relationships, or kinks, even if they are related to you. Repeat that to yourself as needed.

That being said, if there is just one or two hostile people and there will be dozen or more other people, consider if you can go and simply avoid the hostile people. Some families and gatherings allow for that.

What you tell people, how, and when, is up to you. If you're not ready to come out to the people you'd be spending time with, you shouldn't have to. Or, if you think coming out now to one, more, or all of the people who will be there would be best, you'll need to prepare yourself for emotionally for that.

As far as making a move, if there is a person or people likely to be there you want to "get closer to," whether relatives or family friends, plan ahead for the possibilities. Will there be a way to get them alone? Would it be good to get things in motion ahead of time through texts, messages, video chats, calls, etc.? Or do you want to wait until you're face to face to get things in motion or back into motion, as the situation might be?

Plan ahead and make the most of the season. What that means is up to you. For some of you, it will be making plans with friends and "found family" or your partner(s) and their families. Others will make the most of their opportunities by going "home." Plans can change, and that's fine. But do consider what you might want to do.

If you need someone to talk with or to give you feedback about your plans, or you just want to say hello to Keith, you can do so, as always, by emailing fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or message him on Wire at fullmarriageequality or on Facebook.

You can also comment with your thoughts, plans, or past experiences below.

A Break Proved They Belong Together

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. 

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally marry his spouse, or simply be together without having to hide, yet they can’t. Prejudice can be deadly. They are consenting adults; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for loving each other this way, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what he has to say about the affection they enjoy. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label? 

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Danny: I'm Danny, 32, :Latino-Italian mix, six feet, 180 pounds. I am a maintenance supervisor for an apartment complex. I am my mother's only child. We are from Southern California. I'm a big sports guy. I love the beach but I'm also a homebody.

Veterans Day

November 11 is usually the Veterans Day holiday in the US. This year, many observe it on Friday the 10th.

I can’t help but think of the people who risked their lives (and those who gave them) and endured so many things in service to their country, who weren’t and haven’t been free to be who they really are and share their lives openly with the person or persons they love.

Recent years have brought progress, and we have to fight to keep what we've gained while still looking for more progress. Problematic laws and policies remain, and, of course, LGBTQ+ people, the nonmonogamous and polyamorous, and consanguinamorous still endure the the threat of prosecution, persecution, or discrimination.

Shouldn’t someone who risked their life for this country be able to marry more than one person, or a biological relative? Or at least share a life with the person(s) they love without a fear that their own government will be against them? Is bravery and valor negated if a man loves more than one woman, or his long lost sister? Shouldn’t a woman who served be free to marry both of the women she loves?

Let’s thank our veterans, some of whom were drafted into service, especially those who are still being treated as second class citizens.

Intersex Day of Solidarity

Today, November 8, and every day, we stand in solidarity with intersex people. 

It’s Intersex Day of Solidarity.

Our bodies, genders, orientations, and relationships are diverse. Every person should be free to be themselves and to share love, sex, kink, and relationships as mutually agreed with others. This includes intersex people. 

Intersex people are not broken. We stand against discrimination against, and persecution of, our intersex friends, family, and neighbors.

Consanguinamorous Youth

This blog is about equal rights for consenting adults.

But what about legal minors? It is dangerous to ignore that many legal minors experiment, explore, and get affectionate. I'm talking about age peers. I'm also addressing young people who have feelings for a parent, aunt, uncle, or other significantly older relative. If an older person is coercing you, or messing with you while you (try to) sleep, that's NOT what this is about. Don't let anyone abuse you!

Much of this entry on how consanguinamorous people can protect themselves is relevant, as can this entry on living together.

This essay is a result of someone anonymous contacting this blog's sister Tumblr to describe a situation he had experienced in his life and to ask if there are any resources to help people who are currently in the position he'd been in so many years ago.

A subsequent message was from a teacher who had to report minors who've revealed their experiences with consanguineous sex, due to mandatory reporting laws that apply to people in certain jobs.

What do you do if you're in a consanguineous relationship or you think you have a consanguinamorous orientation, but you're under the age of consent or not a legal adult?

Please note: Most of this entry is going to be strictly about how things are and practical situations, not about the morality of any given situation or actions. While we welcome all adults and anyone struggling due to prejudice against their gender identity, sexual orientation, or relationships, this entry is NOT endorsing or advocating underage sex or anything else illegal.

It Is Good to Hear From You

One of the great things about this blog, for me, is that I've had so many wonderful people reach out to me over the years. They outnumber the bigots exponentially. They include people in relationships facing discrimination, people who used to be, people considering their options, and their family, friends, and allies.

The curious also reach out, whether they are journalists, other media producers, or "everyday" people with curiosity.

Many people who've reached out have expressed that they had been hesitant to do so, and some of them remain cautious. Some people over the years have dropped contact and then resumed it later, even years later.

There are only a few of us doing things like this blog, so that means that for each of us, there are many of you, the reader, the seeker. That means that if you contact me, keeping up contact will usually be up to you. If we've been in friendly or cordial contact before, but you haven't heard from me in a while, I'm sorry about that. You're welcome to reach out, no matter how long it has been. I always like hearing from you, even if it is just "Hello." If you want to update me, I'd like to read it.

If you haven't reached out yet, please know that I have honored the privacy of thousands of people. If you need someone to communicate with, if you have questions, or if you just want to share something, do reach out.

Whatever your gender, whatever your sexual orientation, whatever your relationships or hopes about relationships you want, I welcome you. Allies are welcome, too.

The best ways to contact me are...

Email: fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Wire messaging service: fullmarriageequality

Facebook

Twitter

I am also always eager to hear from additional counselors and therapists able and willing to work with the people for whom this blog exists in an affirmative, positive way.

The same goes for lawyers, attorneys, and other legal advisors who are willing to work with, advise, or represent the people for whom this blog exists.

If you're a graphic artist who wants to help out, please let me know.

Journalists and other media producers: see here.

Academics and researchers: adapt what's in this message to journalists to your situation.

Haters: Please channel your energy into something productive and kind, rather than fighting against love. If this blog upsets you, direct your attention elsewhere.

English is the only language I have mastered. If you don't read and write English, one of us is going to have to use translations and you're far more likely to get quick responses from me if you're the one who does that.

New to this blog or looking to find out more?

Intersex Awareness Day - Thursday, October 26

.Intersex Awareness Day is Thursday, October 26.

Intersex people should not be discriminated against or denied their rights, nor forced into narrow gender roles imposed by someone else.

You are welcome here!

Humans are diverse. We have diversity in our bodies, in our identities, in our attractions, and in our relationships.

Kindness and respect go a long way. Let people be who they are. Bullying, harassment, and discrimination spread hate. Spread love instead.  Let's support each other and stand up for the rights of all.

Why Do I Have Sexual Feelings For My Dad?

I'm active on Quora, and this question came up...

"I’m 16,why do I have sexual feelings for my dad?"

It's a question that might be asked at later ages, too. 

Here's an answer...

Most 16-year-olds are very hormonal. For some, this means they’ll have sexual feelings for a lot of people in their lives. What most people don’t admit is that this can include close relatives, including a parent.

There is also a small percentage of the population that has a sexual orientation that is somewhat consanguinamorous, meaning they are attracted to one or more close relatives in large part because they are close relatives.

If your father has raised you, and he’s been a great father, that can also factor into your attraction.

If your father didn’t raise you, but he’s back in your life now, well, a lot of people feel Genetic Attraction or Genetic Sexual Attraction, a very strong attraction to a close genetic relative if that relative didn’t raise them, but they are in each other’s lives now.

Finally, if your father is “objectively” attractive, that might be most or part of the reason why.

Sexual attractions are very diverse, and they don't always "make sense." 

You are certainly not alone. You probably know other people who’ve been attracted to their own father, whether it was fleeting or they have a strong lasting attraction, or something somewhere between.

Asexuality Awareness Week

It’s Ace Week!

October 22 through 28 is Asexuality Awareness Week.

It's an international campaign to educate about asexual, aromantic, demisexual and grey-sexual identities and experiences. You are welcome here! Nobody should be discriminated against or be denied their rights for having these identities.

We recognize and support our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, classmates, and others who are asexual.

Your existence and worth shouldn’t be denied.

Living Consanguinamorously - Keeping the Closet Door Closed

Someone came to this blog by searching...

How my aunt and I can hide our incestuous relationship

The answer below will apply to consanguinamorous relationships of any composition, not just aunts and nephews or aunts and nieces.

Unfortunately, people have been compelled to stay closeted due to prejudice and bigotry, sometimes enshrined in law. Whether someone has had to hide or downplay their gender identity, their sexual orientation or their "forbidden" relationship, the oppression is harmful in many ways, but some people just can't come out of the closet, at least not at a specific time in their life. In some places, it is literally a matter of life and death. Even for places where consanguinamory isn't criminalized, many people in these relationships have good reasons to hide them from at least some of the people around them. As a result, many people don't realize they know people who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

In a perfect world, people would be able to simply love other adults without such problems, but we're not there yet. Civil rights, including things like full marriage equality, are generally advancing, at least on most of the planet, but there is still a ways to go.

Much of the answer raised by the question in the search was answered in an earlier entry about how consanguineous lovers can live together, so check that out.

There's also this entry on how consanguineous lovers can avoid trouble.

I'll try to avoid repeating too much of what is in those entries.

Spirit Day 2023 - Thursday, October 19

Thursday, October 19 is Spirit Day. Among varying activities, people wear purple in support of LGBTQ+ youth, against bullying.

Nobody should be bullied, harassed, or discriminated against because of their gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities or those of their family members or friends.

Are you observing Spirit Day? Leave a comment below telling us about it.

Defend people against prejudice, bullying, harassment, and discrimination.

How You Can Help

Coming Out Day 2023

Life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a narrow little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is Wednesday, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBTQ+, or polyamorous or otherwise nonmonogamous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, nonmonogamous, consanguinamorous or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting. You can do so anonymously. You are also welcome to contact Keith if you want someone to talk with. The best ways to do that are to email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or message fullmarriageequality on the Wire messaging app.

Lesbians Day 2023

Sunday, October 8 is International Lesbians Day.

Today and every day, it is good to remember that, like anyone else, lesbians should be free to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting partners. 

Lesbians should be free to live their lives, without fear of harassment, bullying, criminalization, or discrimination.

Thank you to all of our lesbian friends and allies!

National Sons Day

In the US, Thursday, September 28 is National Sons Day.

Celebrate sons. All sons, regardless of sexual orientation or relationships. 

Whether they are cis, trans, fluid, or whatever their identity, if they are sons, it is their day.

Are you a son?

Do you have a son? If you have a son, it's time to think about the good things he's brought into your life and what you can do to show your support and appreciation.

Are you celebrating?

Do tell in the comments below.

If you have something to share or ask you don’t want in the comments, you can write to Keith at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

National Daughters Day

In the US, Monday, September 25 is National Daughters Day.

Celebrate daughters. All daughters, regardless of sexual orientation or relationships. 

Whether they are cis, trans, fluid, or whatever their identity, if they are daughters, today is their day.

Are you a daughter?

Do you have a daughter?

Are you celebrating?

Do tell in the comments below.

If you have something to share or ask you don’t want in the comments, you can write to Keith at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com 

Haters Attack Mom For Celebrating With Athlete Son

What do you see?

I see a loving mother. I see a strong athlete son.

The consanguinamoryphobia being spouted over this video, attacking this woman, is outrageous. Such phobia is often an indication someone has hidden desires they haven’t resolved.

It’s OK for a mother to be beautiful.

It’s OK for a mother to dress well.

It’s OK for a mother to celebrate and be affectionate with her son.

It’s sad that the bigotry expressed over this will likely have a chilling effect on this mother and son and so many others. People shouldn’t have to hide affection. 

Most people in consanguinamorous relationships go through great pains to hide it. You know people who are involved, even if you don’t know who. But let’s assume this mother and son do have that special additional bond and she let her guard down. My question is: So what?

So what?

What if they have freely, mutually consented to be affectionate with each other in a way that includes passionate kisses, stimulating each others genitals, and sharing orgasms? How does that hurt you? How does it hurt anyone?

There are people out there who verbally abuse (or worse) their mother or son in public. In contrast, these two are embracing each other affectionately. He has the strength to carry her (good for him!) Why the outrage?

The critics should be ashamed of themselves.

Get on the right side of history, the side of love.

Have you done or witnessed anything like this? Do you wish you could be affectionate like this without being harassed or bullied? I’d like to hear from you. You can email me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or find me on Wire messaging app at fullmarriageequality. 

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #20

"It is sick! These relationships are dysfunctional!" This is almost always a thinly disguised variation of Discredited Arguments #1, #3, or #19. There are many mentally healthy people in healthy, functional, consanguinamorous relationships.

As this blog and others have repeatedly shown, there is no good reason to keep laws, discrimination, or stigmas against consanguinamory (consanguineous or consensual incest sex or relationships) that is consistently applied to other relationships. One of the grasping-at-straws assertions that one might make when all of their justifications for denying rights fails is "people who do that are sick" or "those relationships are dysfunctional."

Before we do anything else, let's make it clear that we're talking about consensual sex and relationships, not abuse. It's not fair to point to abuse, assault, child molestation, etc. by a close relative as an example of how "incest" is "sick".

Documentary Production on Consanguinamory Seeking the Experienced

 

We’ve been contacted by a production company seeking to do a documentary on consanguinamory.

If you think you might have something to contribute, even if not on-camera, consider reaching out to them. Here’s the information…

 

Love Productions, the makers of hit TV series The Great British Bake Off, The Great British Sewing Bee, The Piano and The Great Pottery Throwdown, are currently preparing a documentary film on the subject of consanguinamory.

 

Our aim is for this film to be a sensitive, respectful and understanding look at an issue many people around both the UK and the world are having to deal with every day of their lives under extremely difficult circumstances: from the point of view both of those campaigning for its decriminalisation, and those endeavouring to live happily in such consensual relationships without prejudice, judgement or persecution.

 

We would really love to hear from people who either in the past or present have been part of a consanguineous relationship, in order to inform our understanding of this subject and what daily life is like for those experiencing it. 

 

Rest assured we will fully safeguard the details, and protect the identities, of everyone who gets in touch with us, and there is absolutely no obligation to be involved with the eventual film: which would in any event be made in a way which keeps its participants’ identities completely secret.  

 

In this first instance, we simply welcome the opportunity to hear from anyone who is happy and comfortable to enlighten us with the true stories of their own loving relationships, alongside the issues and struggles they’ve faced as a consequence of them.

 

If you would like to speak to us, in full confidence, please do get in touch with Adam at either adam.hollingworth@loveproductions.co.uk, or on 07969 901301.

Visibility in media can help progress. So, again, if you think you could possibly contribute in some way, reach out to them and see if you like what they’re doing.

This is How You Contact Keith

There are multiple ways to contact Keith, the person behind this blog.

1) Email is great! It is the best way. Keith's address is fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. PLEASE NOTE: I am very responsive to emails. If you send me a message and you don't see a response within a day, check your "spam" or "junk" folder. Or contact me one of the other ways listed below.

2) On the Wire messaging app: fullmarriageequality

3) On Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fullmarriageequality

4) Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/FullMEquality - You can send Direct Messages.

5) There is [UPDATE: WAS] a sister Tumblr to this blog. You can submit an "ask," including anonymously. You can also send a private message if you are signed in to a Tumblr account. If you submit an ask anonymously, you can't get a private response unless you provide an email address or a Facebook or Twitter or Wire or Tumblr account at which you can be reached. Say you want a private response if you don't want it published.

6) Comment here on this blog! You can comment after this entry (below) or any other entry, and you can do so anonymously if you'd like. Again, if you submit a comment anonymously, you can't get a private response unless you provide an email address or a Facebook or Twitter or Wire or Tumblr account at which you can be reached. Say you want a private response if you don't want your comment published. Comments have to be approved to be published, so you can write stuff you want Keith to see but you don't want published.

Living Consanguinamorously - What About Roles?

Q: In a consanguinamorous relationship, what happens to the biological roles?

This is sometimes asked as “Do they still see themselves as siblings (or parent/child, etc.)?” or various other questions.

A (Short): It depends. Every situation has some differences from others.

A (Long): One of the questions usually asked in the exclusive interviews featured on this blog is that very question. Consanguineous lovers are asked if they see each other primarily as lovers or as family or if those things are inseparable. Hopefully in any relationship, people see each other as people first and foremost.

Relationships come in many varieties.

Day of Visibility for Nonmonogamy - July 15

Alan M's Polyamory in the News! continues to be an excellent resource, and is it calling attention to OPEN and the Day of Visibility, which is Saturday, July 15.

There are many forms of ethical, disclosed, or consensual nonmonogamy. None of them should be discriminated against in law. People who are nonmonogamous should have rights just like anyone else.

Whether you are polyamorous or practice some form of polyamory, in an open relationship or marriage, a swinger, a free agent, or simply enjoy the occasional swap or threesome, you shouldn't have to hide who you are or be bullied or denied your rights.

We nonmonogamous people are your family members, neighbors, coworkers, firefighters, teachers, scientists, artists, and the people who help provide the things you need and enjoy. Hopefully, this day will make that more obvious.

Check out the links and consider how you can make the day successful, whether you are nonmonogamous yourself or an ally.

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #19

“There are so many people outside of your family. Go marry/have sex with one of them, instead. It creates friendships between families.” There are plenty of people within one’s own race, too, but that is no reason to ban interracial marriage. I have many friends outside of my family to whom I’m neither married nor married to a relative of theirs. On the other hand, don't we all know unrelated married couples who actually drive their relatives apart from each other? Let adults marry the consenting adult(s) of her or his choice.

Telling someone who is happy with their lover that they should dump that person (or even be prosecuted for being with that person) and should be denied their right to marry because there is someone else they can be with instead is an arrogant and usually, very much a cruel intrusion into someone else's life. How would the person who says this like it if someone told them they had to drop their lover (if they have one) and go find someone else, even though they are consenting adults who want to be together and are happy together?

There are people in consanguinamorous relationships who could never find as much love and happiness with someone else, and trying to force them to do so isn't fair to anyone, including the person for whom they "settle." There are people who are consanguinamorous in their orientation.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #18

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #20

A Dad and His Daughters

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. 

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The people interviewed below should be free to legally marry, or simply to be together without having to hide, yet they can’t. Prejudice can be deadly. They are consenting adults; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for loving each other this way, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what they have to say about the affection they enjoy. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they enjoy each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label? Please note that this blog supports ethical, disclosed, of consensual nonmonogamy, and does not endorse cheating.

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourselves.

John: I am a civil engineer, we live in Central Europe. I am 42 years old. I live with my wife and younger daughter. The wife is 41 years old, the daughter is 19. The older daughter is 23. My wife works as a teacher. We live quite nicely. My father is Italian, and my mother is of southeast European origin. 

I have been in a sexual relationship with my elder daughter for the past 3 years. I have been in a romantic relationship with my younger daughter for a year.

Caroline: I am a fitness instructor, I have my own gym and I can say that I have decided on a career in that direction. I'm 23 years old. I live alone, about half an hour from my parents and sister. I always wanted to be independent so I separated. I've been having casual sex with my dad for a while now, and I don't regret it for a second.

Meg: I am currently studying, majoring in information technology. I am 19 years old and I live with my parents. I am in a relationship with my father.

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #18

“There is a power differential.” Power differentials in consanguineous sexual relationships do not provide a good reason to deny the rights of lovers to be in these relationships and to marry, if that is what they want. The power differential allegation applies least of all to siblings or cousins who are close in age, but even where the power differential exists, it is not a justification for denying this freedom to marry.

There is a power differential in just about any relationship, sometimes an enormous power differential. One person is more emotionally needy than another. One earns more than the other. One is more educated than another. One has more friends and family than another. One has more life experience than another. On and on it goes. A 21-year-old woman can consent to group sex with three 40-year-old cage fighters she just met, or sex with an older man who boarded in her family home for most of her life, or the President, or a married billionaire sultan, but not her half-brother or her genetic father who she first met a year ago and has been falling in love with? To question if consent is truly possible in consanguineous relationships is insulting and demeaning. If someone her age can consent to join the military, operate heavy machinery, or be sentenced to life in prison or even to death for their actions, how can we say she can't consent to love another adult the way she wants?

There are sober, functional, healthy adults who consent to consanguineous sex with an older relative, and many of them want to marry. It shouldn’t be illegal or questioned, unless you would do the same to any intergenerational relationship between adults.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #17

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Consanguineous) Love #19

Father's Day - Sunday, June 18

Sunday, June 18 is Father's Day.

For all men raising or helping (or who have helped) to raise a child, whether you are a biological father, presumed father, grandfather, stepfather, bonus father, adoptive father, foster father or any variation… we wish you a Happy Father’s Day!

A special thanks to fathers who have supported and loved their children who are LGBTQ+, polyamorous, consanguinamorous, or have otherwise faced persecution or oppression because of who they are or the person(s) they love. And you fathers who ARE LGBTQ+, polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, we see you, too.

We offer a note of encouragement to all fathers who can’t legally marry the person(s) they love, but would if they could, or who face bullying due to love or who they are: We will win so that every adult can pursue love, sex, and marriage with any consenting adults.

If you have a good father in your life, are you planning anything special for Father's Day?

Some considerations if you have, or are considering, a more physical relationship with your father...

Polyamory Pride Day - Sunday, June 11

Polyamory Pride Day is Sunday, June 11.

Polyamory is getting more and more visibility, and that's wonderful.

Polyamory is expressed many ways, but it is a category of ethical, disclosed, or consensual non-monogamy. 

During Pride Month, we recognize Polyamory Pride Day to continue to raise awareness, let people know they have options when it comes to relationships, and that polyamory or being polyamorous isn't something of which to be ashamed.

Sadly, so many polyamorous people have to hide who they are due to ongoing prejudices and discrimination. You probably know polyamorous people, whether you know it or not. Polyamorous people are your neighbors and service providers.

Some people identify as polyamorous whether or not they are in a relationship, or only with one partner right now.

There is no good reason someone of any sexual orientation or gender shouldn't be free to love, sex, kink, residence, or marriage (or unions or partnerships) with any and all consenting adults.

Are you celebrating?

If You Know a Father or Father Figure Worth Celebrating

Sunday, June 18 is Father's Day.

If you have a father or father figure in your life worth celebrating, make plans to celebrate him.

You still have a little time to plan.

Some of you have been considering giving him what he really wants. Some of you aren't quite sure.

If you want to consult with Keith about your ideas or plans, email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or message Keith on Wire at fullmarriageequality.

Pride Month Is Here!

June is Pride Month. 

Like so many other observances, it has become commercialized in a lot of ways. As far as I'm concerned, I'd rather corporations call positive attention to it rather than how things were in the old days, when LGBTQ+ people were invisible or portrayed as predators.

We should also keep in mind that there are LGBTQ+ people who are monogamous, and those who are polyamorous or otherwise involved in consensual, ethical, or disclosed nonmonogamy. There are also LGBTQ+ people who are consangunamorous or have consanguineous relationships. All these people should have their rights.

Let's celebrate gender, sexuality, and relationship diversities. May allies join in, and may there be solidarity for all!

Let's make it a great month!

Monday is Memorial Day in the US

Monday, May 29 is a day that fallen military personnel are honored and remembered.

Some of our fallen were LGBTQ+, some were polyamorous. Some were consanguinamorous. Until somewhat recently, none of them could be open about who they were or who they loved without dire consequences; only some of our LGBTQ+ military personnel have been able to come out thanks to the end of DADT and the implementation of some protections. Polyamorous and consanguinamorous people still have to hide and are denied their rights.

Some were drafted and had no choice but to serve.

Yet along with the rest of their military brothers and sisters, they fought and struggled and suffered.

So please let freedom ring.

Someone should be able to serve honorably and without being ordered to act unjustly, no matter their gender identity, sexual orientation or their relationships with consenting adults. And they should be able to have their marriages registered with their states, and certainly not be punished for their relationships.

Documentary on GSA is Seeking Siblings and Half-Siblings

Documentary filmmakers are looking for siblings or half-siblings in certain situations.

This is posted at their request...

Together with Dutch director Sophie Drost I am working on an international documentary about GSA.

The tone of our film won’t be negative about GSA relationships, but curious and open minded.

In my role as a researcher I am trying to get in touch with siblings who just found out that they have a (half) brother or sister and are at the very start of a relationship. 

You haven’t met yet, you still have many questions and you don’t know where this going.

If you are willing to talk to me and take me and Sophie along in your journey, please contact me on wytzia@xs4all.n

Wytzia Soetenhorst

Of course people who are experiencing, or could experience Genetic Sexual Attraction or Genetic Attraction may be cautious about dealing with journalists, but, hopefully, some people can make positive contributions to this project. If you think you have something to contribute, contact them and see how things go. Contacting them doesn’t obligate you to do more or to keep in contact, but maybe you’ll find it worth your while.

Raising awareness of GSA is very important.