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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Another Couple Denied the Freedom to Marry

"Anonymous" is an attractive woman with an attractive boyfriend. They appear to be a happy couple, the kind of people you might work with or live next to. But they are denied their right to marry. They can’t even be open about their relationship, which is apparently the result of genetic sexual attraction. She generously took the time to be interviewed.

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FME: Describe your background.

ANONYMOUS: I'm in my early twenties, live in the UK, and have no children.


What is your relationship to your lover?

He is my half-brother


How would you describe the nature of your relationship?

Boyfriend and girlfriend, but also best friends.


Did you grow up with him?

We did not grow up together. We only met a few years ago. Now we live with our father.


When did you first notice you had feelings for him? Were they romantic, sexual, curious, an intense attraction, what? Did it surprise you?

I was attracted to him from the moment we met. It was a mixture of lust and curiosity. I was very surprised, confused and ashamed of these feelings.


How do you feel about the lovemaking side of your relationship?

Great. It's just a natural way of showing our love.


Are you monogamous, in a closed relationship with each other?

Yes, we’re in a closed relationship with each other.


Does anyone know the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out? How have they reacted?

A few close friends know, and they accept it. We sat them down and explained the situation to them in full and that seemed to help.


How did you start making love with each other?

The first time was spontaneous. We were watching the TV, cuddling, and then one thing lead to another. Prior to that, we had indulged in foreplay and oral sex. My brother started that. At the very start, it was touching using being drunk as an excuse (not that it was ever questioned.) Then I visited him in his home city when we lived apart, and decided that we'd share a hotel room and a double bed which lead to foreplay, but nothing more as I was wary of pushing the situation too soon. It was only when he lived here that things turned sexual because I couldn't hold back anymore.


Can you describe that first event where you gave yourselves to each other, especially your feelings?

It was instinct. We'd both waited so long that we couldn't resist any longer.


Do you think relatives have some things better or some advantages that unrelated lovers might not, such as more intense feelings and lovemaking? What are some of the advantages and disadvantages?

I think you're less likely to take each other for granted and therefore the relationship is better for it. The disadvantage is, of course, having to sneak around and not be totally yourselves unless you're away from home.


Do you have feelings for other close biological relative that are anything like the ones you have for him, whether they are as intense or not?

No.


What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your love?

Mind your own business. It's completely consensual and the world would be a happier place if everyone learned to accept and love a little more.


Would you get legally married if you could, and if that included protection from things such as bullying and workplace discrimination based on your relationship?

We have discussed it and yes we would.


Any plans for the future?

Explore the world together and move in together by ourselves.


Do you personally know, or have you met in person, other couples like you (that you are aware of)?

No, but I would like to.


What advice do you have to someone who has romantic or sexual feelings for a close biological relative?

Play it safe at first, test the waters with flirting, etc. Don't go in all guns blazing because you could destroy the relationship you have if you do that. Be patient and don't worry, you are not a freak.


Is there is anything else you want to add?

Live your life. Don't care what anyone else thinks. So long as you're not harming anyone, go for it!

***

There’s no good reason these lovers should have to hide, or be denied their right to marry. They are another example of why we need full marriage equality sooner rather than later.

Read other interviews here.
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7 comments:

  1. Good words and advice. I agree to the relationship fully. Thats cute :) I hoe a long beautiful relationship comes of this <3

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  2. I understand my world my life and my love id my h/s, also gsa. We have to let them know its only love, we wont try to deny your love dont deny ours.
    From Canada

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  3. Thank you for your kind words. We hope to move away soon and live as a couple, properly.

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  4. I'm very happy for you in your relationship. Mine with my half brother has not worked out as I would have liked, perhaps because we rushed it. I wish you all the best!

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    1. Anonymous, thanks for commenting. Sorry things are not going better with your HB. There are often ups and downs for everyone.

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  5. I'm a guy who was experiencing GSA with my half-sister when we met. (I just turned 21, she's going on 42, and our dad whose 68, God he's ancient, lol), when I found this blog, trying to find out if I was a sick S.O.B., but these interviews have shown me that I'm not alone, thank you. I still don't know how or if I should reveal my feelings to my sister, but I'll find a way.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous, thanks for commenting. If you'd like, write me at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com and we can talk. When I was still a teen (but legal) I fell for a woman who turned out to be in her mid-40s. This was well before the current notions of "cougars" and "MILFs" but long after Mrs. Robinson of "The Graduate."

      Delete

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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