Sunday, October 3, 2010

Polyamory Lacking Representation at LGBT Events

Polly, one of our favorite poly bloggers, wrote a few weeks back about her thoughts at an LGBT event.

We did not, however, see any openly polyamorous folks. At least, we didn't see anyone holding hands with more than one person at a time. Gabe wasn't with us, so we were not able to represent, even if we felt like being open in public. There might have been some poly people lurking somewhere being stealthy. We poly people can blend, when we want to. I suspect that our ability to blend is part of what makes people uncomfortable with polyamory. Look out! We're everywhere!! We might be looking at your butt! (For those who actually worry about this sort of thing - being polyamorous does not mean we actually do look at your butt, and it certainly doesn't mean we would care about your butt even if we do look at it.)

We also didn't see any booths promoting or supporting polyamory. That sucked.

It would be nice to see some solidarity. I suspect it was more of a matter of poly people not stepping up. I'm hoping it was that, and not the even organizers keeping them out.

I had to suppress the urge to say, "You know, Stuart snuggles with another guy. He can totally be here. And I've snuggled with women, before, too..." I imagined having a t-shirt with a picture of both of my husbands that says, "I'm with both of them." There are a lot of LGBTQ folks that actually resent or disapprove of polyamory, though - so perhaps the latter wouldn't be so effective.

I really had hoped there would be some support for poly at the pride event. I am not quite up to hosting a booth myself - especially with the ramifications that being an open poly representative could have for my kids. I just wish there were some childless poly people there to lend poly folks a voice, so I could stop by to say thank you and good job.

That's the rub, isn't it? We need more people to come out, but who wants to take the risk? My friends and I can be more open in some places than others with the poly stuff (and Linda and Melissa with the same-sex affection), but not about the consanguineous nature of the relationship.

One theme I've heard from some lesbian and gay folks is, "Hey, we've done the work for gay rights - now you have to do the work for poly rights." Yes, this is true. But honestly, I've helped to do the work for gay rights, too, by being a vocal supporter of LGBTQ folks from the very beginning. Why can't they lend me a hand, now, too?

Very good point. Equality just for some is not equality. Everyone should have the right to sex, love, and marriage regardless of birth or the number of persons.
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