Probably the biggest mistake I've made on my path with polyamory was trying to be monogamously married. I think I did a fair job at it but a lot of the time I felt something in my life was missing. I felt like I was being caged even though I knew I was trying to live up to a commitment I had made. Of course I wouldn't trade my kids for the world so not everything about it was bad. And I also learned that to make myself happy I can't deny who I am. At least at this point in my life I can't imagine being monogamously married again.
Trying to deny your nature, whether it is poly, LGBT, or consanguineous, leads to problems. It is better to discover who you are and be honest with yourself thank to try to confirm to something that is not for you, and dragging other people into a situation that isn’t for you. If it isn't for you, it won't be for them, either, because nobody wants to live with someone who is living a lie. Full marriage equality will discourage that destructive kind of self-denial.
![Non-Monogamy Diagram [I:FV]](http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif){kind=link}
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