All of the trainers talked about the nature of self-comparison and repeatedly encouraged us to compare ourselves to that other person until we could pinpoint something we are better at (i.e. looks, smarts, personality, etc.). Their coping suggestions all involved competition and self esteem through cutting down someone else.
Society teaches women this competition as the way that we are supposed relate to
each other, it prevents us from creating real community, and helps perpetuate
patriarchy.
Marriage equality should be about lifting each other up, not putting anybody down. Competition can be a good thing, but destruction of others doesn't have to be a part of good competition, nor does there need to be competition in relationships. If someone can't handle that a partner will be with someone else without getting destructive about it, than that someone wants monogamy, not polyamory. That's fine. Polyamory isn't for everyone.
![Non-Monogamy Diagram [I:FV]](http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif){kind=link}
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