Holidays and Sheltering At Home

Some of you are, or will be, heading home for Thanksgiving (US) and the Winter holidays and school breaks. Some of you have been home because you always are, and still others have been home or are heading back home due to physical distancing during the pandemic. Whichever is your situation, a lot of you are, or will be, spending more time at home with family.

If you do find, or already have found, yourself having feelings for. or sharing affection with, family members, you're definitely not alone. It appears that this year has seen more of that than any previous year in history. And, as it was before this year, it was common enough for close relatives to share sexual or romantic affection that you certainly know people who have. You are NOT alone.

Whether you're blood relatives, step relatives, adoptive relatives, in-laws, or honorary relatives, there's nothing wrong with your feelings and, depending on the circumstances, there may be nothing wrong with sharing more affection. 

Will you make the most of this time?

You might need to read one or more entries on this blog that I list below. Feel free to contact me.

Here's a special message for young people.

Consanguinamory (Consensual Incest) FAQ

It's more common than most people think for close relatives to share sexual affection or experimentation. Intrafamial sex and romance is as old as time.

Do You Have Feelings For a Close Relative?

Do you think or know that a close relative has feelings for you?

Yes, it is OK. But should you "do it" in your specific situation?

You might be able to make it happen. If you're the parent, there is more to consider.

Taking it slow and cautiously might be the way, unless the two (or three, or...?) of you can't hold back. Sometimes, the ice just needs breaking.

Stepsiblings, stepparents, and stepchildren might want to read this.

Are you considering coming out as consanguinamorous?

A message for family and friends.

How To Be An Ally to Consanguinamorous People You Know

Are you considering, or involved in, a situation that isn't monogamous?

Read exclusive interviews with close relatives who are involved in everything from spousal-style relationships to family-with-benefits arrangements.

If you've already shared sexual affection and are trying to sort everything out, this might help. 

If you can't be together geographically, you might be able to make the most of the distance. 

Again, you can contact Keith and you can comment below (including anonymously), so please share your thoughts, experiences, questions, plans, or anything else you want to share. 

When A Spouse Is Approached By Their Adult Child

Someone on a question-and-answer service raised the question of what he should do because he is faced with his independent, adult daughter making it clear she wants a sexual relationship with him, him having reciprocal feelings, and him also being married to his daughter's mother.

Let's take a look at this below.

Some of this is applicable regardless of genders, and whether or not his wife is the mother of the daughter or a stepmother. I'll be focusing on the original situation, however.

His feelings are natural and so are hers. It had to take a lot of courage on her part to say something. She’s been feeling this way for a long time.

Thanksgiving Time

This US national holiday always falls on the fourth Thursday of November.

This year, things are going to be different for many because they won't be travelling or won't be getting together to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

Thanksgiving Day has been, in other years, a huge holiday in the US, centered mainly around a special family meal. In case you haven't noticed, Americans like to eat a lot. Since Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday, Friday is a holiday as well (at least as far as the government is concerned). Because Thanksgiving is considered to specifically be about family togetherness, it can be a painful time for those who have been rejected by their family because of their gender identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or choice in partner(s). Some LGBTQ people, polyamorous people, and those in consanguineous, intergenerational, or interracial relationships are reminded every year that even their own family hates them.

Some people make the best of this and plan a Thanksgiving meal with friends. I throw out a special “good for you” to anyone who has ever hosted a meal like that. Keep up the good work, even if you don't do it this year. I think such gatherings are much more enjoyable anyway. If you don't have one to go to next year, consider hosting your own!

But I also have words for anyone who has driven away or banned someone in their family because of that other family member’s identity, orientation or partner(s): Shame on you. You don’t have to like your family member’s sexuality or how they live. But you should reach out to them and support them instead of driving them away. Every person at that table does things you don’t like. Why single out a family member for punishment because of who they love? If your family member has a partner whose family is more accepting, guess who is going to win? Guess who is going to get to play with any grandkids/nieces/nephews? Not you. Think about it. Maybe it isn't too late to make amends and have them over for this year's holiday. This might help.

If you're feeling alone this time, please know that there are people who care. I care! Feel free to comment below or reach out to me.

Some of you are home or will be going home. Do you have any special plans for this holiday week? Are you going to be coming out, or trying to start or rekindle something with someone special? You can comment (anonymously, if you'd like) below or write an email at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today, especially, we remember transgender people killed by hatred and ignorance. It's the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

For all transgender people reading this:

We value you. You are valid. You deserve to live your life free of prejudice, free of being attacked for who you are.

We are going to help make things better sooner rather than later.

Transgender Awareness Week

November 13–19 is Transgender Awareness Week!

What is Transgender Awareness Week? 

Transgender Awareness Week is a week when transgender people and their allies take action to bring attention to the community by educating the public about who transgender people are, sharing stories and experiences, and advancing advocacy around the issues of prejudice, discrimination, and violence that affect the transgender community.

We want all of our transgender friends and everyone else who loves them know that we have your back. Everyone should be free to live out their gender in the way they find best for them, and that includes being free to have the relationships that are best for them.

A Healing Love

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. As this interview is being published, there are still many people spending more time home with family members. Perhaps some of them will find this interview an inspiration? Or they can see this for some possibilities.

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry her partner, or simply to live together With him in any place in the world without having to hide, yet she can't. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including where they live, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what “Kaylee” has to say about her love for “Will.” You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights, or be ostracized simply because they love each other this way?

Prejudice against their relationship for being "incest" is irrational and harmful.

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

Kaylee: I was born and raised in the U.K., growing up in the big city, and now living in a smaller town. I am in my mid-twenties, Dad is young for a father of someone my age.

We moved here after I finished school. I studied engineering, more or less inspired by him as he also went down that path, though we chose different specializations. 

Other than that, there's not much else to say about me. I like chess, I am an occasional stoner, I used to take Ballet and Contemporary. These days I mostly just stick to yoga.

Meanwhile, he prefers jogging, and while I've jogged with him before, I truly hate running, so that's mostly something he does on his own.

I do have a younger brother, and my mother is alive and well, but we don't talk to them. We've been estranged for years. 

Our economic background has had its ups and downs but for the most part, we're comfortable now. We have a safety net and are saving up. We have a friend group we hang out with, but this year has been spent primarily with each other, for obvious reasons.

I'm currently living with just my Dad in our flat, as well as our wonderful beagle. No children, and we now live further away from our extended family.

Veterans Day

Today is the Veterans Day holiday in the US.

I can’t help but think of the men and women who risked their lives (and those who gave them) and endured so many things in service to their country, who weren’t and haven’t been free to be who they really are and share their lives openly with the person or persons they love.

Recent years have brought progress, and we have to fight to keep what we've gained while still looking for more progres. Problematic laws and policies remain, and, of course, LGBTQ people, the polyamorous, and consanguinamorous still endure the the threat of prosecution, persecution, or discrimination.

Shouldn’t someone who risked their life for this county be able to marry more than one person, or a biological relative? Or at least share a life with the person(s) he or she loves without a fear that their own government will be against them? Is bravery and valor negated if a man loves more than one woman, or his long lost sister? Shouldn’t a woman who served be free to marry both of the women she loves?

Let’s thank our veterans, especially those who are still being treated as second class citizens.

Intersex Day of Solidarity

Today, November 8, and every day, we stand in solidarity with intersex people. 

It’s Intersex Day of Solidarity.

Our bodies, genders, orientations, and relationships are diverse. Every person should be free to be themselves and to share love, sex, and relationships if and as mutually agreed with others. This includes intersex people. 

Intersex people are not broken. We stand against discrimination against, and persecution of, our intersex friends, family, and neighbors.

Happy Halloween

Halloween is October 31 and it is celebrated widely and diversely here in the US.

Do you have any special plans for Halloween? Have you done or will you do anything fun or interesting this year at a Halloween party or event?

Whatever you do, please be careful as this is a different kind of year. Stay safe!!! 

Here in the states, the stores depend on Halloween to sell a lot of merchandise. In typical years, there are parties, costume contests, what amounts to theatre in front of (and inside, sometimes) the homes of people as they try to scare or entertain neighbors and strangers with things ranging from silly to sexy, spooky to gory. In some places, kids (and often parents) in costumes go from door to door collecting candy or other treats.

Many amusement parks, ranging from small to the largest, do special entertainment in the weeks leading up to Halloween, and this is a favorite time of the year for movie studios to release horror movies, and for broadcasters to show ones from years past. Of course, this year, things have been different.

For some, there are religious or spiritual aspects to the day, and it might be called by other names.

Some interesting things can happen when people are having fun at costume parties, or cuddled up together watching scary movies. With many parties and events cancelled this year, maybe you'll be home with family or other loved ones, watching something good or playing some fund games?

So, as always, feel free to comment or share your plans or stories, including from years past. You can comment anonymously below.

When the Boy Next Door Is Closer Than You Know

Jamliah Lemieux has an advice column, "Care and Feeding," at slate.com that deals with parenting advice. This edition has a letter of interest to this blog. 

"Incest Under Duress" wrote...

Our daughter (17F) sat us down last night and explained that she was in love with the (16M) neighbor next door. Instead of being delighted, as we’ve known the boy since birth and they’ve been friends almost as long, my husband threw a fit and forbade her from seeing him ever again. An argument ensued and our daughter accused my husband of being racist (we’re Filipino and the neighbors are Black.)

But of course that wasn't it.

Right after our daughter was born, my husband and I almost split up; I went through a really hard time between the hormones and the lack of sleep, and when I kicked him out of the house temporarily, he took refuge in other women. I knew this already, but I had no idea he’d slept with the young single mom next door and fathered the boy who would become our daughter’s best friend and, eventually, boyfriend. Our daughter’s new boyfriend is her half-brother.

This happens more than people think. Sometimes it happens through cheating, sometimes from prior relationships or flings. But there are half-siblings in some towns who are unaware they are half-siblings. Sometimes they are drawn to each other.

Documentary Production Looking For GSA-Experienced

Someone behind a documentary production on Genetic Sexual Attraction is looking for cooperation from those experienced in GSA. See below for more information.

It would be great to see documentaries that are not misleading or negative.

As with any other opportunity to work with media, I leave it up to you as to whether or not you should participate. If you are so inclined, reach out to them and at least see if this is something you in which you might want to participate. 

This is their message for you...


***** 

Sometimes things are so controversial that they are hard to understand for people. 

Seeing them in a film can help. 

We believe in the beautiful and complex love behind Genetic Sexual Attraction and want to show the world this. 

Therefore we are looking for the people whose lives have been touched by the Genetic Sexual Attraction phenomenon. People that are willing to share their story with us. A brave thing to do that will help people to stop their preconceptions and truly understand. 

It will not be an informative documentary about the subject GSA. It will be a documentary about a special kind of love. About the power of that love and about the misconceptions and judgement around it. 

The documentary film will be made by award winning filmmaker Sophie Dros. 

The film will be produced by acclaimed production company www.halal.amsterdam

If you have any questions do feel free to contact me at docs@halal.amsterdam

Sincerely,

Tess 

Attention Moms and Sons Experienced in Consanguinamory

There is a screenwriter who wants to communicate with experienced mothers and sons to help with writing characters and relationships accurately for a screenplay. You can remain anonymous. 

Whether I’ve interviewed you or not, whether you’ve been in contact with me before or not, reach out privately if you’re experienced and interested by emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.