Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Two Women Still Denied Their Right to Marry

By my count, this is the twenty-fourth ongoing relationship I've covered through exclusive interviews in which the lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and denied their freedom to marry.

Shiro is a lesbian and wants to marry her partner.

Read the interview below and ask yourself if there is one good reason their rights to love each other the way they want should be denied.


FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

Shiro: I'm a sous chef at a restaurant in Williamsburg, Virginia, and my hobbies include swimming, dancing, going to the movies with sis and walks on the beach. I only have the one sibling, my sister, who lives with me. I've had other girlfriends, but I'm happy being with sis.

I got out of high school with my diploma, and I had always had a passion for cooking, so I expanded on that. I went to community college and went through the culinary program, which I passed with flying colors.

FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation?

Lesbian, as is my sister.

FME: You currently live with...?

I live with my sister.

FME: Are you married or have you ever been married?

No, but I am engaged to my sister. If we could get married, we would.

FME: You're in a relationship with your genetic sister that includes sex?


FME: Did you grow up together?

We did grow up together, but my sis went in the military when she turned 18. We reconnected when she got out.

FME: Who is older, and by how much?

I am older, by a year and 2 months.

FME: When and how did sexual affection become a part of your relationship?

Sex started after a couple of months of us being together, and it came about with us just talking about it one night. When we first got together as a couple, I could see us being intimate. She made the first move, asking me about my favorite positions.

FME: Can you describe your feelings during that event?

Just a wonderfully warm, tender moment when we first mated. I felt like I was making love, and not just having sex.

FME: Describe your relationship now.

We have been living together just over a year now. She lives with me at my house. We do see each other as siblings and lovers, girlfriends and partners. We don’t do affairs, we are loyal to each other. While we would like to be married, we will settle for the commitment ceremony.

FME: How do you describe your lovemaking now? Does it feel natural or kinky?

I do think it feels natural. Intense, as well. Doesn't feel kinky, but we do S&M. She's the sadist, I'm the masochist. She gets hers by smacking me around, and I get mine by being smacked around. We don't always do the rough stuff, sometimes we just make love.

FME: Do you have these kinds of feelings for, or involvements with other family member or relatives?

No others, just now with my sister.

FME: Does anyone know the  full, true nature of your relationship?

Our parents know. They fond out because they saw her engagement ring, and noticed that mine matched, and they asked us. We just told them straight up when they asked. We do act like a couple in public, everywhere we go.

FME: Is there anything you've had to do to hide the full nature nature of your relationship? Having to hide can be a lot of trouble. Are there other disadvantages to being in a relationship like this? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?

The main thing we've done to hide it is just not tell anyone. I don't think that other than legal issues there are any disadvantages. As far as an advantage goes, at least in the case of my sis and I, we already knew each other very well and we already loved each other as sisters.

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other (and that you can’t really consent)?

I don't really care if people disapprove. My reply to those thinking one is preying on the other, is how do you know if you aren't there? How do you know for 100% certain that is the case?

FME: What do you think of LGBT people, leaders or otherwise, who distance the rights of consanguineous lovers from the civil rights movement, or condemn such lovers?

I think that they have the right to their own opinion, and I can understand because of the legal issues, but they should at least be considerate to others fighting their own battles.

FME: Aside from the law, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?

That is the only thing wrong with it. Which I feel is nonsense anyways, since the courts shouldn't dictate what love is acceptable.

FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you?


FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing feelings for a genetic relative, especially a sibling?

If you feel attracted to a genetic relative, tread cautiously. They may or may not share your feelings. If they do, try to ease your way into it, and most important of all, try your best to make your partner happy.

FME: Any plans for the future?

Yes. My sis and me plan to do a commitment ceremony.

FME: Do you know in-person others who have had relationships like yours?

Our parents told us that they had family relations when they found out my sister and I were together.

FME: Anything else you want to add?

Not really, except that I like where I'm at in life and I wish the same for people who are like us.


There you have it. Two consenting adults who plan to continue to live as though married, and who will legally marry once they are no longer denied their freedom to marry.

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to adopt full marriage equality sooner rather than later, so that an adult is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage any and all consenting adults. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you are a family member or friend of someone who is in or may be in such a relationship, please read this.

Thank you to Shiro for sharing her situation with us!
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1 comment:

  1. That's really awesome, I'm so happy for them!
    Well wishes for their future. :)


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