We Get Letters About Consanguinamory

This blog takes comments and you can also contact Keith directly. Here are some "letters" that have come in over the last few months.

After "Acceptance Not Condemnation," Anonymous wrote...

I'm living with my aunt right now and have for 8 years and we love each other. She's my half-aunt(mother's half sister) and is 10 years old than I am. We've always been close and I moved in with her when I left my parents' home to go to college and things blossomed from there. 

I don't think anyone in my family knows as we haven't told anyone and we don't show affection in public. We also have a separate bedroom set up for me for appearances, but we sleep together every night. If I could marry her, I would, but for now, we are very happy, even though we're in secret. Maybe one things will change, but for now, we'll just keep doing what we're doing.

Fortunately, close relatives can usually live together without bigots or gossips attacking.

A message I got from an Anonymous bemoaned a lack of solidarity...

I’m a lesbian, with my lesbian aunt. That’s one reason I’m not too big on the whole LGBT movement. Being in an incestuous relationship with aunt, I learned to keep my business to myself.

That's too bad. There should be mutual support, not division and condemnation.

On a previous post featuring letters, Anonymous wrote...

Father's Day

Sunday, June 21 is Father's Day.

For all men raising or helping (or has helped) to raise a child, whether you are a biological father, presumed father, grandfather, stepfather, bonus father, adoptive father, foster father or any variation… Happy Father’s Day!

A special thanks to fathers who have supported and loved their children who are LGBTQ, polyamorous, consanguinamorous, or have otherwise faced persecution or oppression because of who they are or the person(s) they love.

Also, a note of encouragement to all fathers who can’t legally marry the person(s) they love, but would if they could, or who face bullying due to love or who they are: We will win so that every adult can pursue love, sex, and marriage with any consenting adults.

If you have a good father in your life, are you planning anything special for Father's Day?

Some considerations if you have, or are considering, a more physical relationship with your father...

Happy Loving Day

June 12 is Loving Day! We celebrate the Loving family, and the victory of Loving v. Virginia, which helped advance civil rights in general and the freedom to marry.

Let's keep moving forward to full marriage equality so that an adult is free to marry any and all consenting adults!

Consanguinamory After Physical Distancing

Over the last few months, some of you have been staying home with family due to restrictions and physical distancing requirements, and some of you still are. On the other hand, some of you have been kept away from family (along with everyone else) because these conditions.

We've addressed these realities in several posts like these...

Family Making the Most of the Distance

So Much Time At Home

Spending More Time With Family These Days?

"I'm Stuck At Home With Family"

Now, more and more, people are regaining their freedom and confidence to get out and about and see each other.

What happens now if you entered into new territory with a close relative or family member over the last few months?

You Did the Taboo - Now What?

There is no reason the pleasurable things that happened during the physical distancing must end. You'e definitely not alone!

If you and a family member (or two, or three...) discovered the joy of sharing sexual affection with each other, there's no reason to pull back from that if all involved would like to continue.

For some of you, that will mean continuing your sexting, whether or not you agree to do more when you're face-to-face. For others, that will mean continuing your increased physical affection even though you can now see others. You might even find yourself preferring to keep your close relative(s) as your primary or only sexual relationship.

The possibilities are many, and they are up to those of you involved. What you mutually agree to do and what you negotiate with each other should be up to you, not to anyone who isn't involved.

These posts might help...

Cautious Consanguinamory

Family With Benefits

How To Pull Off Living With Your Consanguinamorous Partner(s)

There are also some of  you who have seen your family member(s) in a new or intensified way as a result of what has been going on for the last few months, but you haven't acted on your feelings. This might help you.

You can tell us what you've been doing or feeling in the comments below. You can also contact Keith privately.  You can also join a forum for people with experience in consanguinamory, and their allies.

A Novel for Consideration and Review

If you’re into fiction with consanguinamory, you might want to check out a story on Amazon. Here is what the author told me (below). Please leave a review at Amazon or Goodreads or at least email her to let her know what you think. -K

*****

Dear Keith,

As you may recall, I published Forbidden: Our Secret Love--a beautiful story of love between two adult half-siblings--twenty months ago.

Can Adult Family Members Bond Too Much?

I answer a challenge at this blog's sister Tumblr.

Monday is Memorial Day in the US

Monday, May 25 is a day that fallen military personnel are honored and remembered.

Some of our fallen were LGBTQ, some were polyamorous. Some were consanguinamorous. Until somewhat recently, none of them could be open about who they were or who they loved without dire consequences; only some of our LGBTQ military personnel have been able to come out thanks to the end of DADT and the implementation of some protections. Yet along with the rest of their military brothers and sisters, they fought and struggled and suffered.

So please let freedom ring.

Someone should be able to serve no matter their gender identity, sexual orientation or their relationships with consenting adults. And they should be able to have their marriages legalized, and certainly not be punished for their relationships.

International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia

May 17 is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia.

Regardless of someone's sex or gender identity, regardless of their sexual orientation, an adult should be free to be themselves, to be in public, to work, to be "single," or to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, harassment, discrimination, or any other negative effects of homophobia, transphobia, biphobia, etc.

Let's stand up to hate, bigotry, prejudice, discrimination, bullying, and unjust laws. Let's protect people from being abused by those who would perpetuate hate.

Progress is often difficult and achieved through much struggle. Sometimes it can seem like there have been setbacks. But overall, progress is being made. Let's keep the momentum going!

Good For Mom

Quora can be a good place to ask and answer questions and learn new things. I'm there and so is friend of Full Marriage Equality Ewen Owen, who recently answered  this question: "How is it good  for me to have sex with my mother?"

On her side:

• She will have a lover who she can trust more than any other man.

• She will experience double love with you, familial and erotic.

• She will have sex that is better than she ever dreamed was possible.

• She will not have to worry about her lover getting bored with her.

• She will have the fun of being in a taboo relationship with you.

• She will have as much sex as she wants, without having to date.

• She will not be at any risk from random creeps.

• She will love you in a whole new way.

• She will not risk contracting STDs.

• She can have fun trying new things in bed with you.

Excellent answer! 

A consanguinamorous relationship brings all the usual benefits of sex and many of the benefits of other relationships, but also so much more.

There are many benefits for the mother. There are also many for the son or daughter. Consider things carefully.

If you can think of, or have experienced, such benefits, feel free to comment with them below.

Mother’s Day

It's Mother's Day weekend, at least around these parts, so Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there, especially mothers who face discrimination, persecution, and even prosecution for loving one or more other adults, and the mothers who've stood by their children who've faced bigotry for being who they are and loving who they do.

We're making progress. Hang in there and continue to care for your loved ones.

If you have plans for an interesting Mother's Day or end up having an interesting Mother's Day and you think our readers will want to hear about it, do tell! Sons and daughters.... any special plans?

I include those who've "adopted" mother figures, especially if you've done so because your own mother is no longer with us or was not a supportive person. Almost all of us have a mother in our life, even if that mother isn't officially family.

Some mothers have recently been surprised by discovering just how much they are loved. Some have recently been forced apart from some of their loved ones.

So you mothers or the people who admire them: comment below, which you can do anonymously, or you can email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

Help for Friends and Family of Consanguinamorous Siblings

Our friend at The Final Manifesto has done great service and had given this blog permission to repost what was posted on Tumblr. I recommend following that Tumblr blog and the blogspot as well. What is below is all TFN's work; it is not mine... [UPDATE: Here is a posting from Jane Doe that addresses this topic.]

(Here is a PDF version of the full text)

This is for the benefit of friends or family of romantically involved siblings, who may have recently discovered their secret. Though I’ve used “incest” in the title, I won’t continue to use the terms “incest” or “incestuous,” I will use “consanguinamory” and “consanguineous” (pronounced “con-sang-gwin-am-or-ee” and “con-sang-gwin-ee-us). “Incest” is too loaded a word for intelligent discussion, and I only ever use it for sexual abuse. If I say “consanguinamory”, assume I am talking about consensual sex. (I’m going to assume that the couple is opposite-sex, but most of this also applies for same-sex couples.) Remember: there’s a difference between love and abuse.
This might be long, but bear with me. All of your concerns are about to be addressed. If you truly love them, you will have the patience to read this.


- INTRODUCTION

First, stop and take a breath. I know that this must be a lot to take in. I seriously doubt that you’ve ever sat down to consider the possibility of this happening. I don’t expect you to be calm, but I do expect you to care enough about their well-being to seriously consider what I’m about to say.

Did you discover them accidentally? If so, talk to them individually – with an open mind – and make sure that there was no coercion. Ignore the taboo nature of what you just found out. If you have no evidence of coercion or manipulation, then do not try to project abuse where there is none, and do not force them to internalize your own sense of what’s “taboo.” Why would you ever want to burden them with so much unnecessary guilt and shame? Talk to them together, and get the story from them, calmly. See how they act together. Remember to treat them with respect, especially if they’re already adults; it’s what you would want for yourself.

Did they come out to you on their own? Then there’s even less chance that there was any coercion involved. In fact, coming out to you is one of the bravest and most trusting gifts they could ever give you. Not only is their love extremely taboo, but even if they are adults, in most places on Earth they could be thrown in jail, possibly for the rest of their lives. You could get them thrown in jail. Every person they tell is a potential threat who could ruin their lives forever, getting them locked up for years and permanently placed on the sex-offender registry. And yet, despite all that, they told you. They could have lied – it wouldn’t have been easy, but they could have – but they told you. However much you thought they trusted and loved you, they just proved that their true trust and love is greater.

Spending More Time With Family These Days?

Life has been at least somewhat disrupted for most people. Workplaces, universities, and schools are shutting down, gigs are being cancelled, conventions, festivals, sporting events, and entertainment events are being cancelled or delayed. Almost anything other than medical facilities, grocery stores, and pharmacies are being closed, and social distancing is being encouraged in an effort to manage the spread of a virus.

These things can mean spending more time at home with family members and close relatives.

While some may get on each other's nerves in a bad way, there can also be... certain pleasant effects.

With that in mind, you might need to read one or more entries on this blog that I list below. Feel free to contact me.

Here's a special message for young people.

Consanguinamory (Consensual Incest) FAQ

It's more common than most people think for close relatives to share sexual affection or experimentation. Intrafamial sex and romance is as old as time.

Do You Have Feelings For a Close Relative?

Do you think or know that a close relative has feelings for you?

Yes, it is OK. But should you "do it" in your specific situation?

You might be able to make it happen.

Taking it slow and cautiously might be the way, unless the two (or three, or...?) of you can't hold back.

Stepsiblings, stepparents, and stepchildren might want to read this.

Are you considering coming out as consanguinamorous?

A message for family and friends.

How To Be An Ally to Consanguinamorous People You Know

Are you considering, or involved in, a situation that isn't monogamous?

Read exclusive interviews with close relatives who are involved in everything from spousal-style relationships to family-with-benefits arrangements.