Did a Mob Murder Someone Over Consensual Sex in India?

At indiatimes.com I found this report from Ahmedabad...

A 40-year-old man was stabbed to death by a group of people, near Danilimda crossroads late on Friday night. Investigators said the perpetrators suspected the deceased of having had an incestuous affair with his niece. Police rounded up the accused.

"Affair" implies this was consensual sex between them, rather than an assault. As we'll see, this is not about an adult molesting a related child.

According to Danilimda police, Rekha Vasava, a resident of Khodiarnagar, registered a complaint against her husband Mukesh, brothers-in-law Ravi and Jagdish and with two others — Bhikha and Ramesh — for the killing of her uncle, Rupsingh Thakor, 40. All the accused are residents of Khodiarnagar. The incident took place in Khodiarnagar at 9.45pm on Friday when a group led by Mukesh confronted Thakor and stabbed him while the others beat him up.

"During questioning, the accused claimed they suspected Rekha had an affair with Thakor for some time," said a Danilimda police official.

Even though the headline said the murder was due to incest, it appears to me that, like so many other murders, it was done because of a cheating affair.

Isn't it curious how this story was reported?

This blog does support open relationships, polyamory, and ethical nonmonogamy in general. It does not support cheating. However, murder is not the answer to cheating.

Author Speaks Up in Defense of Consanguinamory

Good friend of Full Marriage Equality Diana Rinella was interviewed again about her novels and the fallout from publishing them. Kudos to Kelly Cozzone, Sex & Relationships Examiner for publishing this interview.

Courtesy of Diane Rinella

Considering the social taboo surrounding incest, it took a lot of courage for her to put this book out there. I must admit, I’ve read it and am reading the sequel now and I absolutely loved it. 

Diane writes the love story so complete and utterly fabulous that you end up rooting for Donovan and Lily to be together.

Yup!

Kelly: How do you deal with the controversy surrounding Love’s Forbidden Flower?

Diane: I come into every conversation like I am armed for battle. Most of the time people are just curious about the real life situations. They hear the statistic that 10-15% of all college age adults have had some kind of relationship with a sibling and are shocked at how high that number is.
The number increases as people age, their spouses die, and they find themselves in new living situations with a level of comfort that they never dreamed. In the case of GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) relatives meet later in life and sometimes don’t even know they share cells until they apply for a marriage certificate.

(This has happened pretty famously over the last few years in the UK and in China.) So if you meet someone, fall in love, plan to marry, and then find out that you were separated at birth or share a father than ran out on each of your mothers, should you be forced apart? People are, and I think it is horrible.

The interview is well worth a read. So are the books!

A Break For Tony Washington

UPDATE May 14 2014 Mr. Washington is back in the news because he's moved and had to comply with notification laws. How infuriating. He is no threat to anybody (except professionally as an athlete) and once again we're reminded about the injustice of laws criminalizing consensual consanguineous sex. Previous entry on this matter follows below.

Another Example of the Importance of Terminology

Today’s interesting search phrase reminds me why I used the terms “consanguinamory” and “consanguineous sex” when I talk about consensual incest, to distinguish what I’m talking about from abuse or assault.

Someone found my blog searching…

how to repair a marriage after incest

It makes a world of difference whether the “incest” involved is consensual sex or some form of abuse or assault.

Let’s start with abuse or assault. I can’t imagine encouraging someone to “repair a marriage” to someone who has molested or assaulted a close relative or family member; even more so if the victim of such a horrific crime is a child. Perhaps the situation is a little different than that, though. What if the spouse isn’t the perpetrator, but rather the spouse’s parent or sibling or other relative is? In such a case, I’d say the first step to repairing the marriage would require that spouse provide protection against the perpetrator, including by not allowing the perpetrator or anyone enabling the perpetrator around the victim or any other vulnerable person. If the spouse was the victim of the assault, they need a supportive partner more than ever, and there are therapists that can help.

The second category involves activity that was consensual sex between the individuals involved, but was cheating. For example, someone wants to know how to repair their relationship with their spouse after catching them cheating with a sibling. This blog isn’t about marriage counseling, so I’m not going to write much about this other than to say that consanguinamorous bonds can be nearly unbreakable in some cases. If it was apparently a one-time event while they were drunk or stoned, that’s one thing, but if it was an ongoing affair, that can be something else entirely.

The final category is when someone finds out that their spouse has been involved in consanguineous sex or consanguinamory and it wasn’t cheating, either because it happened prior to any vows or agreements or was under an open marriage agreement that did not require approval ahead of time. Again, consanguinamorous bonds can be especially strong, so it is understandable if someone is concerned about this having been a part of their spouse’s past or if someone who’d agreed to an open marriage ended up becoming uncomfortable that their spouse has become involved with a close relative, asked for that to end, and is now trying to figure out how to move forward. It might be easier if they understand that such relationships are common enough that they know others who have been involved, whether they know it or not, and it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with their spouse. There have been many people who’ve had such experiences who’ve gone on to have lasting, happy relationships with people who aren’t relatives, without significant, lingering problems.

Facing the Music

At dailytimes.com.ng, Lara Adejoro uses a recent media frenzy over musical performer Harrisong as the basis to write about whether parents should inform their children of past "mistakes." There had been a glut of news reports that Harrisong's biological parents were sibling, and then subsequent denials. However, Adejoro has either missed the denials or I've missed a denial of the denials!

People castigated him for disclosing his identity of being a product of incest. Incest is sexual activity between family members or close relatives. This typically includes sexual activity between people in a consanguineous relationship (blood relations), and sometimes those related by affinity, such as members of the same household, step relatives, those related by adoption or marriage, or members of the same clan or lineage.

His disclosure tells me one thing: He's getting it right as a man. It's a beginning of a new dawn for him. That has not made him less successful.

Later...

It's okay that you've made a mistake.

Sometimes it isn't a mistake.

Then the article veers into some important truth...

Your child might be in love with a family member without knowing.

Yes, that's called Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Adejoro then urges readers to prevent that by telling your children about other children that might be your genetic offspring. Whether or not that is a good idea, it won't necessarily prevent GSA.

Regardless of Harrisong's true parentage, we all know someone born to close relatives, whether we know it or not and whether they know it or not.

And your children are going to love who they're going to love. You'll have a much better life, and so will your children, if you accept that rather than fight it.

Researching Consanguinamory

The Final Manifesto has put together an extensive document of great help for anyone researching consensual incest. Here it is.

Casting Call for Cousins, Step-relatives, In-laws in the US

I was contacted by someone looking to cast a "docuseries" for "a major network." The series is being produced by Core Media Group ("American Idol," "Dancing with The Stars," etc.)

We absolutely understand that many may not want to share their love stories publicly, however we are hoping to find the few that are willing, that don't care about what society may think and would ultimately like to offer education and enlightenment on the topic. It'll probably be a couple days of shooting if they are selected and they will also be compensated. We are open to cousin marriages, 2nd cousins, step-siblings, in-laws, etc. 

As always, I point out that this could be a double-edged sword. Getting visibility for these relationships and letting people know they exist and are not a problem is important, but lovers need to be cautious do the very prejudices we're battling and even the laws in some places. Also, how you end up being portrayed is almost entirely up to the people putting the show together.

Here's the official call...

Now Casting!

Are You Romantically Involved With a Cousin, Relative or Step-relative?

Have you fallen hopelessly in love with a relative or step-relative? Are you sick of the negative preconceptions surrounding people who date their cousins and want to prove all of those judgmental people wrong?  Are you tired of your love being misunderstood?

A Major Television Production Company and very well-respected Major Cable Network are currently looking for dynamic women and men who are currently in a relationship with a cousin, relative or step-relative.

Using a documentary television format, the show will aim to break down the stereotypes and get to the heart of what it’s really like to be attached to someone who’s a relation.  If you’re dating, or are engaged/married to a cousin, we want to hear from you for this new documentary television project! 

Please be in the U.S & over 18. 

Submit to: iputyouontv@gmail.com

1.    Name
2.    Location
3.    Contact Info (Phone and Email)
4.    A recent photo of yourself
5.    A brief paragraph describing your current situation. 

Search Phrase of the Day

 I’m doing this frequently these days, but I just can’t pass up these opportunities. These search phrases indicate to me what people want to know.

Today’s phrase of note that brought someone to my blog is…

"talking to gp about consensual incest"

In this case, “gp” is probably “General Practitioner” or “General Physician” or maybe even “Gynecological Physician” (although those are usually referred to as OB/GYN.)

While it can be an especially intense experience emotionally and physically, from a purely mechanical sense consanguineous sex (or consensual incest or consanguinamory) is no different from any other sex. Since that is the case, there is no reason to tell a doctor that you are having consensual sex with a close relative or family member, only that you are sexually active.

If, however, you are pregnant or considering a pregnancy with a close relative, that can be a different matter. In general, anyone concerned about genetic diseases or disabilities should consult with medical and other scientific professionals who specialize in those matters. Since a close genetic relative carries more of the same genetic material you do, and since anyone who has lived in the same location as you has shares the same environment as you (including pollution, communicable diseases, etc.), any problem that can be passed on to children might be of more concern if it can be passed along by both parents instead of just one.

I’m not a medical professional nor an attorney. Laws about medical privacy and mandatory reporting of criminal activity to law enforcement vary from place to place, so really, this is an issue to bring up (perhaps as a “hypothetical” wink wink) with an attorney who specializes in criminal and/or medical law and is familiar with the laws and legal system in your jurisdiction. Perhaps there is a certain way you can broach the subject with a doctor that will keep you out of legal trouble?

Laws or not, doctors have their own temperaments, personalities, priorities, biases, prejudices, etc. If they’ve been in practice for years, they’ve seen it all and I guarantee you they have had other patients with active consanguinamorous sex lives, pregnancies conceived between close relatives, and that the doctor has often been aware of the reality of the situation. Some doctors may be reassuring and supportive, some may be hostile. Some will simply approach the matter as another professional task.

As always, I welcome comments from anyone with any experience in these topics, whether as patients, law enforcement, legal advisors, or medical professionals.

See: How Consanguineous Lovers Can Avoid Trouble

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Kentucky Still Prosecuting Consenting Adults

This absurd waste of resources and violation of civil rights was reported by Kenneth Hart at dailyindependent.com...

In an unrelated case, the grand jury indicted a South Shore man and his adult stepdaughter for allegedly engaging in an unlawful sexual relationship.

As we've seen before, the prejudice against consanguinamory has been extended to prosecute lovers who aren't genetic relatives.

Roger D. Howard, 44, and Clara P. Walters, 21, both of Little White Oak Road, both were charged with incest, a Class C felony that carries a five- to 10-year prison sentence.

And who is the victim???

The indictments, which resulted from a KSP investigation, allege Howard and Walters engaged in “sexual intercourse or deviate sexual intercourse” between April 1 and July 1 of 2012. Under Kentucky law, sex between a stepparent and stepchild is considered incest. The charge A, B or C felon, depending on the age of the victim, whether force was involved and whether the victim suffered serious injury. Howard and Walters were charged with the least-serious variety because both are consenting adults.

It shouldn't be a crime in the first place. What a waste of resources.

Found on the Website of a DNA Testing Business

We already know that consanguineous sex (consanguinamory or consensual incest) is more common than most people think; that it is common enough that everyone knows someone who has been involved, whether they know it or not. Not only is it common enough for that, but it is common enough that enough children are born from such relationships that a DNA testing business put this on their website...

Sister- Brother Incest and DNA Testing

Mark and Susan had an affair- they are full siblings. Susan got pregnant and had a child- Jane. The child, Jane, grows up to suspect that Mark, her uncle, might in reality be her biological father. What can she do?

Ideally, she could do a paternity DNA test. This would involve getting a DNA sample from Mark and seeing whether their DNA profiles are the same- if they are, it would confirm that Mark is not her uncle but her father.

Related: Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory

Search Phrase of the Day

People find this blog through some interesting searches. Today I noticed that this was one of them...

Asking adult son to have sex with me

Wouldn't it be funny if that was the mother of the person who searched this? Much of what I wrote there applies here as well.

Here comes a very controversial statement, but I'm going to write it anyway because I try to give people practical advice...

In general, it is easier to seduce men than it is to seduce women.

Please notice I said in general. Broad generalizations do not apply to all individuals. There are many, many exceptions. People can argue nature vs. nurture all day (although notice that in other species, in male-female interaction males often have to do some sort of task before mating with a female). For our purposes, it doesn't matter why things are that way, just that they are. That is good news to the person doing the search.

There is, of course, the possibility that the son will have an aversion for different reasons, some valid, some not. A person's feelings and attractions and turn-offs and boundaries are their own, and they have to be respected.

Every situation  is a little different. As always, I can be contacted via private message on Facebook (I'm at /fullmarriageequality) or at fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com for personalized discussion.

A Couple of Jewish Perspectives on Tradition and Consanguinamory

This blog has previously discussed a little about consanguineous sex and consanguinamory and the Bible.

At timesofisrael.com, Yoseif Bloch wrote, under the headline of "My Sister is Really Hot" about the use of "sister" in Song of Songs...

A few more hints in the text flesh out the picture. 1:6 states: “My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” So she has maternal brothers, but apparently no maternal sister, as in 6:9: “My dove, my perfect one, is the only one, unique to her mother, flawless to her that bore her.” She says of the male protagonist, “O that you were like a brother to me, who nursed at my mother’s breasts! If I met you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me.” In other words, if they shared a mother and not just a father, their kisses would be innocent and familial; but since they do not, their interactions are erotic and romantic.

He contrasts that with passages in Leviticus, then writes...