Most Children of Consanguinamorous Parents Are Fine

Thanks to Victoria Cuthbert at theweek.co.om for bringing us this article reminding us that so much of what we hear about children from consanguinamorous parents is misinformed.

Consanguineous marriage, or marriage to a blood relative, is a custom that has been popularly practised in almost every part of the world at some point of time. Though in the West it has largely grown out of the culture and become stigmatised, in many other countries, like Oman, it continues to remain a valued social custom.


In fact, according to Professor Alan Bittles, a professor of community genetics at Edith Cowan University and research leader in the centre for comparative genomics at Murdoch University, both in Australia, it is estimated that ten per cent of marriages worldwide are consanguineous. In regions where consanguineous marriage is more popular such as the Middle East, North Africa and Central and South Asia, the number can reach over 50 per cent, and in countries like Qatar and the UAE it is said to be on the rise.

Consanguinamory is not rare, nor is it against tradition.

While some politicians, media and experts in the field have warned against the greatly increased health risk of consanguineous marriage, many scientists claim they are vastly misguided, and at the same time completely disregarding the social significance of the practice.


“There is a misunderstanding spread by the media that there is a risk from consanguineous marriages, but this is actually very minimal,” said Dr Allal Ouhtit, head of the department of genetics at Sultan Qaboos University (SQU).


Though current research estimates that there is double the risk of mortality and disability for a child if its parents are first cousins, this only increases from about two to four per cent - still leaving around a 96 per cent chance that the child will be healthy.


“Even still, we are not sure because research on consanguinity has bought conflicting results. All the studies have been done in the West and were probably not well controlled. That's why we are trying to set research up here,” added Dr Allal.


“Our findings have shown that the health risks associated with consanguineous marriage have been exaggerated, largely due to flawed research,” agreed Prof Alan , who visited Oman recently to participate in the International Conference on Consanguinity. “Research has often failed to allow for non-genetic factors that can adversely influence health outcomes including poverty, poor maternal health, very young maternal age and short intervals between births.

May the good Doctors get some good research going. Too many people out there express ignorant statements about this, and it hurts people. Most children born to close relatives are healthy. We all know some, whether we're aware of who those children are, or not. You don't have to go far back in most family trees to find consanguineous parents. Whether or not to have children and how is for people to decide for themselves, and anyone concerned should get genetic screening and counseling.

Holding Hands is Better Than Slapping Them

There's a of thought-provoking and stimulating material to be found on tumblr.com, and perhaps no other social networking or blog site illustrates more clearly that those who want to box everyone's identity and relationships into narrow little tracks are losing their grip on the people. Here's just another example.

I would like to address something i’ve noticed that exists within every community, but seems especially rife within alternative communities such as the kink community, the polyamory community, the queer community, etc. There is this whole strain of self-policing which questions people’s identities or abilities to identify as part of that community because of actions which they do or do not take part in.

To explain further, I am considering actions here to be voluntary acts that are deemed “neccessary” by some in a community, which creates self-policing and exclusion. Take, for example, sexual acts. Everybody has their own preferences. Likes, dislikes. Things they will only do in a relationship, or things they need to get off. I want to stress that there is no right or wrong preferences, only individual needs.

Solidarity, not division, is the way to go. We don't define another person's identity; only that person knows their feelings. We can support and respect each other, even though we don't feel the same things or may not even understand one another's feelings.

How silly do these sound (and yes, I’ve really heard/seen them said more than once):

• No submissive has the right to say no! If you say no to something, you’re not really submissive!
• If you don’t go down on a girl, you’re not really a lesbian. (Insert oral sex act/ sexual orientation as you will). 
• Feminists don’t shave their body hair! If you shave your body hair you are clearly not a feminist. 
• You can’t really be into BDSM because you don’t mix it with sexual activity, and BDSM is about sex.
• How can you consider yourself polyamorous if you only have one partner? Polyamory means you have to have multiple partners so if you only have one you are not poly.
• You don’t look queer because you are too femme/straight looking. 

It's a very well written entry. Let's not pick at each other over what we do or do not do; let's join together in standing up for the rights of every one of us to be who we are and do what we want to do, and love who we love how we want to love them.

Playing Mistie

I have already shared my thoughts on this sad case of what could very well be Genetic Sexual Attraction. There have been many news articles all over the world about it, probably because it involves an attractive woman arrested for a “sex crime.” But there hasn’t really been much new reported in these articles.

Todd Rigney reported at wevpronews.com…

Most of the stories you read about parents reconnecting with their long lost children are heartwarming tales filled with teary reunions, warm hugs, and a fair amount of happiness. However, every once in a while you get exposed to the dark side of such scenarios, leaving the reader to ponder the eternal question, “What in the hell is wrong with people these days?” Prepare yourself accordingly, as this is one such story that is sure to put your gag reflex to the test.

I wonder if Rigney would write this about a 32 year-old and a 16 year-old stranger in a state where 16-year-olds can legally consent?

Toyin Owoseje covered the news for ibtimes.co.uk…

The teenager, who cannot be named for legal reasons, reportedly had no contact with his mother for 15 years until she tracked him down on Facebook in 2011.

The teenager lived with his father, who had been granted sole custody following the couple's divorce, and it is not known when Atkinson began to have personal contact with her son.

I would be very surprised if this wasn’t GSA.

This is how gawker.com put it…

Atkinson was charged on March 2 with four felonies: oral copulation of a minor, contact with a minor for a sexual offense, "sending harmful matter" to a minor, and, the big one, committing incest.

I see… statutory rape is no big deal… but “incest,” which can involve loving, consensual sex, is. Nice priorities.

The father of Atkinson's biological son has since obtained a restraining order against her.

He has full custody of the teenager. Obviously.

Obviously? Is he the guy who got a 15 year-old pregnant 17 years ago? Oh, that’s right. Gawker.com doesn’t think that’s a big deal.

Thanks For the Support

I believe thanks are due to BuIletForMyVaIentine for this video showing solidarity...
It is important to keep in mind that while being LGBT, polyamorous, or consanguinamorous are three different things, there are people who are in two or three of those categories, there are people each each category that support people in the other two, and there are people in each category with their own prejudices against people in one or both of the other categories. We should overcome prejudice and all work together for relationship rights and full marriage equalit so that an adult, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults.

Theatre Review

When it comes to depicting reality and themes found in real life, especially things the powerful try to suppress, the literary and theatre worlds usually lead the way, at least on the English speaking world. Television shows and movies take fewer risks. I found another example of this thanks to this theatre review by Elisabeth Mahoney at guardian.co.uk. She gives "Pornography" four out of five stars.

In this exhilarating take on Simon Stephens' play set in London in the days encompassing Live 8, the Olympic bid success and the 7/7 bombings, they once again deliver highly original, exciting theatre.


The play presents certain challenges. It is written with an open structure and no character names, to be played by any number of actors, and to start and stop wherever the director chooses. What we see, in fragments and streams of consciousness, are transgressions: a schoolboy sexually obsessed with a teacher; incestuous siblings; a woman getting her own back at her boss. One of the transgressors is a 7/7 bomber, his story blending with the others in a mix strikingly without moral judgment or hierarchy.

Our arts and media should tackle things we experience in our lives. Consanguinamory is a reality for many people, and there's no reason why it shouldn't be portrayed.

A Peek Into a Bit of LGBT and Poly History

Margie Adam interviewed Jeanne Cordova, tied to the local launch of Cordova's new book When We Were Outlaws, A Memoir of Love & Revolution. There are some excerpts of the interview at sfbaytimes.com.
 

Jeanne Cordova with Margie Adam and Barbara Price at Montclair Women’s Clutural Arts Club. PHOTO COURTESY OF JEANNE CORDOVA Margie: You were also engaged in a passionate exploration of non-monogamy, the radical feminist theory and personal practice - in intense love relationships with other lesbians who took their autonomy and self-respect just as seriously as you did. At the same time you were clarifying your butch self in the midst of relentless pressure from lesbian feminists to move away from the either-or butch-femme identities toward androgyny. Two different and vast subjects of interest - both connected to radical feminist theory. How have your thoughts and feelings evolved since the time in which the memoir is set - the mid-seventies? Are you married? Are you monogamous? Jeanne: I’m domesticated --with a life partner for two decades, but I am not theoretically, monogamous. I do still believe that non-monogamy, or as we say today, polyamory, is the most natural state for lesbians. But I can’t seem to find a femme that agrees with me! Including the one I’m domesticated to. I don’t know how she feels politically because the mere mention of this topic never gets to a conversational level in our house. But personally, she doesn’t agree with me. Seriously though, my views on this issue have not changed much since the early years of feminism, but I have seen that many queer dykes today, both the boomer generation and on down to Millennials, have continued to invent similar styles of living, such as polyamory. So while I’m here in the capital of polyamory, I’d like to point to it and non-monogamy as being very similar. So I would like to pose this question to all those here and elsewhere: It is a very informative look at the history of some civil rights issues that still have to be won and defended in much of the country today.

Adult Adoption Until Full Marriage Equality?

Stephanie L. Moll, Lawrence Brody, and Melissa Fernley wrote about adult adoption, citing and discussing the John Goodman case.

Yes, adult adoption is possible, and is allowed in many states across the country, including Missouri, although a few states require some sort of previous familial relationship. The result of such adoptions is not a traditional parent-child relationship, but rather a legal relationship that creates the same rights and responsibilities as would the adoption of a child. Adopted adults also become heirs of the adopting parent, although some states restrict the extent to which they can inherit.

Of interest to my readers is this...

In states where same-sex marriage is still prohibited, some same-sex couples have attempted to legally legitimize their relationship by having one partner adopt the other. This gives them rights approaching those of a married couple, such as insurance benefits, family housing options, and inheritance rights.

Some state statutes prohibit members of a same-sex couple from adopting each other, or their courts have decided not to recognize such adoptions. Still, many states do recognize legitimizing a same-sex relationship as a valid reason to adopt. However, adoption of a same-sex partner is falling out of favor, as many same-sex couples are now focusing their efforts on attempts at achieving marriage equality.

It could be something for anyone who is denied the freedom to marry to consider; LGBT people, polyamorous people (in triads or triangles, for example, perhaps there could be one legal marriage and also an adoption), and maybe even with consanguinamorous relationships. Until we get full marriage equality, some couples and polycules may want to get whatever legal arrangements they can. A good lawyer can help any lovers mull over legal possibilities.

Let's Keep Good Traditions, Dump the Bad Ones

Richard Feinberg, a professor of anthropology at Kent State University who has a long list of accomplishments and experience, asks at huffingtonpost.com, "Defending 'Traditional' Marriage? Whose Definition? What Tradition?"

After years of argument a half-dozen states and the District of Columbia have legalized same-sex marriage. 

 They have legalized the limited, monogamous same-sex freedom to marry. More places will follow.

Despite the claim that marriage is a bond between one man and one woman, polygamy (defined broadly as plural marriage) is extremely common and was even more so in the past. The most frequently encountered variant is polygyny, the marriage of one husband to multiple wives. Often, the co-wives are sisters, an arrangement known as sororal polygyny. Less common variants are polyandry (one wife, multiple husbands) and polygynandry (an arrangement that involves multiple spouses of both sexes).

Marriage can take on many forms.

Among the world's known cultures, most have accepted polygyny as legitimate. Many have actively preferred it. It is far from some quaint, exotic practice; indeed, it is well-established in the Bible. 

It's... traditional.

Seen in an anthropological light, gay marriage is one variant in a remarkably diverse set of practices. Same-sex marriages are not exactly commonplace in the mosaic of world cultures. Neither are they absent from "traditional" societies, however, despite the claims of those who argue for a legal ban on same-sex marriages.

Reality isn't kind to prejudice.



It doesn't matter what is traditional. Slavery is an excellent example of something very, very traditional. What matters is... are we going to have equal rights for all adults, regardless of race, religion, gender, and sexual orientation? Some traditions have denied marriage (or even the right to just live) to interracial couples, gays and lesbians, polyamorous people, and consanguineous lovers, and those traditions are the kinds of traditions that should be left in the ash heap of history. Good traditions, we can keep.

Dargers in the News Again

Simon Tomlinson at dailymail.co.uk features heroes of this blog, the polygynous Dargers. Joe Darger is married to twin sisters Vicki and Valerie, and their cousin Alina.

In the eyes of their Fundamentalist Mormon religion, all three women are equally married to Joe.

They each have their own bedroom, and Joe alternates between the three rooms each evening.

Valerie, who works in the family cleaning business with Alina, 43, said: 'The fact that Joe was married to Vicki didn't bother me at all. I took it as a sign he would be a good husband for me as well.

'As teenagers, Vicki and I liked some of the same guys. I thought it might even be good if we married the same man.'

Some people think polygyny is about controlling and abusing women, but Vicki and Alina were both aware and agreeable when they were dating and then marrying Joe at the same time, and this it was Vicki and Alina who encouraged Joe to pursue Valerie.

The article includes a side-panel on the history of Mormon Polygamy.

The three wives and their husband have co-written a book 'Love Times Three', and some of their adult children also contributed to the story.

'We hope that by talking about our way of life, polygamy will step closer to being an accepted lifestyle and the laws that criminalise it might change,' said Joe.

An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any consenting adults, protected from prosecution, bullying, and discrimination.

There's also a short video to go along with the article, as well as several other pictures.

Good News For Those Experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction

As you may remember, Barb Gonyo’s GeneticSexualAttraction.com, which had a long-running discussion forum on Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA), was euthanized and some of the organs were harvested and placed behind a paywall at a new location tied to a blog.

Now, a new forum moderated and populated by others who had participated in Gonyo’s discussion forum is now online, and this free forum welcomes all who have experienced GSA or are experiencing GSA.

If you’ve met a genetic relative for the first time, or after being separated since at least one of you was a child, and you have experienced a strong attraction to that person that includes physical or sexual attraction or has resulted in sexual affection or arousal, you are likely experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction. GSA is real and is a common, normal response to the circumstances involved. GSA is not an indication that anything is wrong with you or the other person. It is not wrong to have these feelings. Genetic Sexual Attraction happens in up to half of all situations in which pubescent or post-pubescent genetic relatives meet for the first time or reunite after having been separated since at least one of them was a child. (See here for more about GSA.)

Please note that the new forum is for those who are, or have experienced GSA or looking for real information on GSA, whether or not consanguinamory or consensual incest is or will be involved. It is NOT a forum for people involved in sexual relationships with, or attracted to, people they’ve grown up with, were raised by, or raised. Those people should instead go to the forum Kindred Spirits (people brought together through GSA are also welcome at KS).

There had been philosophical and personality clashes within the GSA community, which shouldn’t be surprising as there is wide diversity when it comes to human relationships and people can experience GSA regardless of creed, nationality, ethnicity, and socioeconomic background. As a result, it isn’t surprising that there is a need for this new forum. There still aren't many places to go to find help, so it is great to now have GSAForums.com.

Anti-Incest Laws as Political Tools

I have noted before that laws and taboos against consanguinamory (consensual incest) have been used as a political tool for centuries. Accusing a political rival of "incest" plays upon sex-negative attitudes and "othering" someone.

Here's yet another example, this time from Kenya. It is a blind news item...

A well known politician who aspired for a big office has been forced to put his ambitions on hold. Reason? Elders from his village have threatened to go public and expose what they claim are his incestuous relations. The elders, who claim the man had sired a child with his own sister, walked into his house a month ago and told him to let go the seat or risk exposure. The man acquiesced to their demand.

We need to move past this kind of thing, and one way we will is by standing up and saying that someone's sexual orientation or the consensual sex they enjoy does not indicate they will be a bad leader. When someone tries to tear down a political candidate or tried get someone fired from their job by talking about who she or he loves, tell the bigot we are not selecting our own sexual partner, we are selecting someone to do a job, and that a person's love life, as long as they aren't being a hypocrite and trying to restrict the love lives of others, is nobody's concern.

Polyamory in Ancient Rome

Mary Beard, Professor of Classics at the University of Cambridge, wrote about some of the the realities of daily life in ancient Rome at dailymail.co.uk.This coincided with her BBC2 series, "Meet the Romans."

Then there was my favourite lady, Allia Potestas, an ex-slave who was given one of the chattiest tombstones of all — and who had one of the most curious domestic set-ups.

She was the centre of a menage a trois, living in domestic harmony with two men, one of whom composed her extraordinary epitaph, spending a surprising amount of time and tombstone space on her intimate features. How many modern tombstones praise the nipples of the deceased or her fastidiousness dealing with unwanted bodily hair?

Yet the giveaway as to the ordinariness underlying this set-up is revealed when he describes their daily routine. Of the three of them, it was Allia who was always up first in the morning, and always the last to bed at night. Presumably that was because she was trying to do the housework and hold down a job. The same old story!

 Yes, it is the same old story.