Thursday, July 12, 2012

Love Should Not Have to Hide

If you are a regular reader here, you know I think the Kindred Spirits forum is a great place for people who are in, have been in, or are considering getting into a consanguinamorous relationship. Here's a recent posting by someone from Australia.

I was in a relationship discussion workshop at a festival many many years ago, and I got all brave since they were people I wouldn't know so I shared my experience with my sister among the small 'breakout' group I was in. I obviously chose the right moment because everyone was really supportive.

Anyway, later one of the girls in the group came and found me and said something to the effect that she could never have done that, was too scared... and paused to let the penny drop for me.

It turned out she was in a relationship with her dad, and had been for a few years. Long story short he had insisted she try finding other partners, and for a few years she did but she ended up back with him because he was the one for her. They'd been back together for about 2 years when I met her, and we stayed in touch for about 18 months. They were almost certainly the happiest, and possibly horniest couple I have ever known Smile But seriously lovely people. Through various circumstances one day they just disappeared. I suspect someone who wasn't supposed to know found out just how serious they were, and they had to hide. I fully expect they're still together and quite happy.
Nobody should have to hide their love. At least there was someone to talk with.

Later, the same person wrote...

It was the first time I'd ever told anyone, and I did test the water carefully. It was actually billed as a 'flirting workshop', and this was the invitation-only advanced second class. It became a workshop about building safe connections with people, and we were asked to share a relationship secret, just in our breakout group - with a promise it wouldn't be further retold. I was last in our group and it had become pretty deep and trusting, so I felt safe. Afterwards obviously I was very very glad I took the risk! I know she was glad to have someone she could call and tell how happy she was, or stress to.
My sister and I progressed over six years from just hanging out nude together to a very intense six month period in our 20's which went from 'omg what did we just do?!' to not being able to keep our hands off each other. It was beautiful, scary, exciting, loving and so much fun. Unfortunately it ended quite abruptly. Not badly... just abruptly, tho it's not a subject for discussion between us. We got a reality check and it ended so no we're not still together. I miss us, but she's happy, and I'm also happy for her. I'm also happy for me - we're both in good places.
If lovers want to stay together, they should be able to. Arbitrary prohibitions should not break them up.
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