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Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Love Next Door

One of the best forums online for those who are, or have been, involved in consanguinamory is Kindred Spirits. There, people you might see every day get together and talk about life, love, and just about anything, and sometimes the love they have that is subject to so much bigotry and discrimination.

A woman living with her brother wrote...
Well at first glance incest would mean an abnormal sexual relationship between two family members. But that is a label society puts on it. To me it means an extreme commitment of unconditional love for each other. It's a love born out of growing up together and giving yourself body and soul to each other at a very young age. the closeness and comfort you feel with one another is like no other. You do become as one cause you are as one you know everything about each other you have no secrets form each other...To me it is the perfect relationship the sex is more intimate than you can imagine.
In a different message, she wrote...
My feelings have always been very clear about consensual incest, i see no problem with it at all...


For myself i've been involved with my brother since i was 14, we've lived together for the last going on 12 years, (im 30, he's 29)


Actually we lead a very normal life, if i lived next door to you, you would never guess i was involved in incest...
She  is an attractive girl-next-door type. Another woman who is also attractive and in a relationship with her brother wrote...


I am the same as my feelings have always been clear about consensual incest, I have never had a problem with it, it's when there is no consent, that I have a serious problem with it.


I have been in a full time relationship since I was 15 and [her brother] was 16, even though we 'explored' a bit since I was 13 years old.


It's now 20 years since we first got found out by our parents, which at first was very difficult for everyone, but they have supported us through our relationship, especially as they realised at an early stage that our feelings were not lustful, but true loving ones.


We are still together, and still as much in love as 20 years ago. We live as husband and wife, so to speak, and if you saw us together, you would never know we were related, just a normal loving couple.


I think the fact that we have such a close family bond as well as a loving one, has helped me when Gary has either had to go through chemo and radiotherapy, as well as the cancer scares since his last bout of illness.


The only thing that scares me in the future is that his cancer will come back again, as we know it could any time. BUT he is my partner, my lover, my best friend, my soulmate as well as my brother, and I will love him more every day of our lives together, and with the thankful support of our parents, we will continue to be strong together.


So that's our life and my feelings, and I couldn't be happier.
The same woman wrote in another entry...
I have been in a long term relationship for 20 years now, of course times have been hard, but getting through them together is what makes you stronger. There are so many people in this world who struggle with day to day living and they are not in a incestuous relationship, yet they struggle just the same as anybody else does.


As for health insurance, luckily we don't have that here, but for 20 years I have stood by and watched my brother, the man I love go through chemo and radiotherapy, been through all the other cancer scares that have cropped up, and now will more than happily stand by him, every second as he goes through his third bout of cancer and treatment (yes, we found out today it has returned again), and why? simple.......... I LOVE HIM!!!


So for me there is no judgement call to make, my heart tells me that I love my man, and I know he loves me. I won't suffer in silence as our family, and friends will be at our side all the way through. So as for you saying that we engage in a lifestayle that has little if any upside because of my 'romatic desires'.... My heart tells me our love is true, every time something comes along like my brother getting ill again, doesn't break us, it makes us stronger, as we have a bond that is so much closer, not only as blood, but as partners in love, and that to me is the biggest upside to ANY relationship, incestuous or not.


So where is all the negatives in that? We are strong, together, and always will be.

And still another entry...
It is never selfish to love with all your heart and soul, as well as want to be loved the same way, it is only human nature to not only want it, but need it.


The only limits you put on the relationship, are the ones you put in yourself, but then again, you sometimes have to put not only yourself but your partner first. Of course financial strains can be hard, we know that too well.

My darling brother works and fights so hard for the rights of others so hard, he fights because he cares and loves, and sometimes that isn't enough...


But above that, the tough times in ANY relationship are there to test you I believe, and if you can get through them together, it will not only make you stronger but your relationship too.


A third woman wrote...
My nephew and I just recently got involved. Well, we've been together for a year and a half and are happily in love. For the record, I'm 38 and he is 37.


I'll break down the familial dynamics just to make it more clear. But, basically both of my parents were married to other people and had children with them before I came along. Then they met and married. When I was born, my dad was 55 and my mom 38. ALL of my siblings were adults when I was born. The youngest was 18. Anyway, the siblings on my father's side I wasn't really close to growing up. He's a nephew from a brother on my father's side.


And I was raised with my nieces and nephews, most of whom are near my age, as most are raised with their cousins.


But strangely enough this one particular nephew and I never really had the same relationship that I had with my other nephews and nieces. We always had an affinity for each other. And other than him attempting to kiss me when I was 14 and him 13 we never acted on it.


Until a year and a half ago. And frankly, ever since we decided to "go there" it's been the best thing for both of us. We are happily in love.


He recently just told his father, (my brother) and he and his wife actually supports us 100%. He, also, told another nephew of mine (his cousin) and he supports us too.


I don't think anybody on my mother's side would support us at all. But, it's ok because I really keep to myself for the most part.


But, I guess in relation to this topic, I wish the world would be more accepting. I wish it were legal to marry. We want to marry. And I think it's interesting that if we were cousins I think we could get married. But because we're nephew and aunt, it's wrong.


And not to get all technical but because his father is my half-brother, biologically we only share the same amount of blood as first cousins, which in certain places it's legal to marry.

A fourth woman wrote...
I became involved with my brother when I was 17 and he was 19. That was two years ago. It happened purely by accident and there was a lot of confusion, shame and hurt feelings at first. For a while we wernt in any kind of relationship, but as our lives and perspectives have changed, so has that situation. He is a wonderful man and I love him very much. We are at a crossroads but are slowly facing things together. I still have a hard time admitting to myself or even believing that I am in this position, but here I am. It means so much to find a community like this. We are here, and this IS real life! You just wouldn't know it unless we revealed our relationships to you.


These are attractive, intelligent people who could live next door to you, work next to you, or may even be in your family. Why should they have to hide? Why should they be denied their rights? They shouldn't. And that is one reason why this blog exists.
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2 comments:

  1. They shouldn't have to hide, in these stories there are no logical reasons to send them to prison.

    Now, few months ago I thought that the sexual attraction between people who grew up together was caused by some psychological issue (I strongly believed in the power of Westermarck Effect), but I have learnt not to give a f**k about it, the people involved have just to feel comfortable with their relationship. PERIOD.

    ReplyDelete

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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