Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Unhelpful Answers

In this Yahoo Answers entry, someone asked “Is incest acceptable?” The explanation…

I have recently been spending a lot of my time with my sister and we have discovered that we have a lot in common, more than I have ever had with any other girl, she even finishes my sentences.I cant stop thinking about her even when I'm with my girlfriend, I am in love with her and I think she feels the same way about me, but I'm scared that my parents will find out. I need to be with her but don't know how to get around the obstacles, what should I do?

These answers are the typical resonses…

no! sorry but it is just wrong. dont confront her and just get over her. just leave it for now

**** your girlfriend not your sister, you would have babies with fins.

That is purely inacceptable unless you want to have distorted-looking offsprings! You are not thinking properly at the moment. Go for a walk, talk to someone( apart from your sis). What you're feeling now isn't healthy.

how would you feel if you had a son and a daughter and they started having sex together...what would other people think? and theres absolutely no point in the thought of having children because they would nearly always have something seriously wrong with them, because they have been inbred.

You should punch yourself in the beanbag until you learn not to think about your sister this way.

No. It sounds odd. I love my brothers and dad and uncles and cousins but I could never ever think of them in a sexual way as u would a partner. Neither could I imagine any brothers and sisters thinking that way about each other.

Nobody offers an explanation to why they believe consensual sex between siblings is wrong. There responses are summed up with:

1) “It disgusts me.” Okay, well, then don’t do it. That doesn’t give a reason why he shouldn’t do it.
2) “I don’t want to have sex with anyone in my family.” Same as above. And as for the “what if your kids did that” reponse... I will be happy if my children are with someone who is good to them, regardless of who that person is or people are.
3) “It’s illegal.” Well maybe that is the point. It shouldn’t be illegal, especially if you can’t explain why it is wrong.
4) “Your kids will be deformed!” He didn’t say he wanted to have children with her. Even if they were to have children, the odds are that the children will not have birth defects unless a certain birth defect is common in the family.

This last objection is even cited in a response that isn’t hostile…

It is your life, ignore what people would think, if she loves you too do as you wish. Only make sure she does not get pregnant, for obvious reasons; use contraception.

There was a response that was supportive…

Be honest with her. Tell her about your feelings you have for her, that have been growing for a while now. Talk with her about the future, where you think you and she, as well as the rest of your family, will be and do. She deserves truth, and to decide for herself.

If you love her and care about her, you will want what is best for her, not just for yourself. Incest can cause many problems, and she deserves to know what the hazards are. Ask yourself if you are willing to expose her to the risks.

None of the answers I saw said that “It is wrong to cheat on your girlfriend.” Some of them said he could, forgive my crudeness, screw his feelings for his sister away by having sex with his girlfriend. That is about as silly as telling a man who is attracted to another man that he can get over that by having sex with a woman. Siblings have a special bond.

But since he did mention his girlfriend, I want to state that I do not support cheating. If he and his girlfriend have a closed relationship, then he shouldn’t pursue his sister without breaking up with his girlfriend or negotiating an opening of the relationship. Although the chances are slim, there is a possibility that, should his sister feel the same way about him, that his girlfriend would still want to continue their relationship if he and his sister take that step. His girlfriend may be agreeable under certain conditions, which may range from “just keep in private and don’t talk about it around me” to “I have to be there” to “only if I get alone time with your sister, too.” Many people would be jealous just of sharing their lover with someone else, but when you add in the sibling factor, the green monster can be more rabid. I continue to witness how special the bond can be between a brother and sister. Instead of letting jealousy ruin a good thing, I bask in the glow, enjoying the fact that I sometimes get to participate in the fun and the love.
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