Wednesday, August 25, 2010

These Objections to Polygamy Are Weak

I perused a couple of threads (here and here) at Yahoo Answers on polygamy and whether or not it should be legal. It was compared and contrasted with same-sex marriage, as typical these days. There was a lot of support for both freedoms to marry, but also some all of the all-too-typical opposition.

Here are some comments of opposition.

”Why would you want that? Anyone who claims that they can be committed to more than one person is a liar, and if you can't commit to a single person, why try to commit to several? It makes more sense to have a series of relationships than to have several serious relationships at the same time. Stop being retarded.”

“Because it is wrong, evil. It eventually evolves into encouraging marriage between old men and young girls.”

“Polygamy has proved over the years to be very problematic. Usually in polygamous culture, the main goal is to collect wives, and many are denied rights or are underage. When a wife is collected, she is seen more as a means to get into heaven, than as a human being deserving respect. Then there is the problem with a lot of men being kicked out and disowned by polygamous communitites, due to their decreased “value."

Polyandry has usually just occured in places with harsh climates and low populations that want to keep it low, and usually it was a pair of brothers that had a common wife. Since they did not know exactly if it was their child or not, they both invested care and it's chance of survival increased.

If polygamy proved to be harmonious, then to be fair I shouldn't look down on it, but my upbringing and my belief of marriage between just two people won't ever let me become a fan of it...

Also, there is more neglect (physically and emotionally) of children of polygamous communities.”

“Uh because its sexual sin. That's for People who do that can't control their hormones they want variety. You can't just go around mating with everyone. You get aids and when you have sex with someone your souls become one. How can your soul become one with more than one person? Thats committing adultery too. And if you really loved someone you would not be ok with him or her giving herself to other men or women. Thats just dirty.”

“The reason why polygamy isn't good is (among other things) is legal issues of settlement and entitlement.”

“No. Sex is an emotionally bonding experience. It's possible to have such a bond with more than one person, but you have to mean so much to each other that it's unlikely you'll have enough "room" for more than one person in your life in that way, at least at the same time.”

“No. It would invite legal horrors at divorce time. Our courts are clogged up enough.”

“Personally I see absolutely no issue with gay marriage. I honestly don't understand why people oppose it. Why should you care if two people you don't know are getting married. Polygamy on the other hand just isn't okay. It's results often aren''t positive and sometimes result in abusive relationships.”

“Jealousy is always an issue with polygamy.”

Do you see the projection in many of those comments? Someone who is insecure, jealous, and possessive is likely to claim that people can’t have a polygamous marriage without those negative things becoming a problem. These people probably imagine that they control their significant other, and rightly see it would be more difficult to control more than one person. But if they don’t want to be poly, they don’t have to be.

There are many people who already do love and commit to more than one person already. It works for them. What should they be denied their equality? I do not say that monogamy should be outlawed because of the problems of jealousy that often go along with that.

Another common objection is a fear of overloading the legal system. How many divorces from polygamous marriages do these people think are likely? All you have to do is watch one of those syndicated courtroom shows that handles small claims to see couple after couple that was supposedly monogamous, but not legally married, clogging up the court system, after a breakup. Are we 8oing to ban living together?

Legal issues of inheritance and settlement can all be addressed and shouldn’t be used as an excuse to deny the fundamental freedom to marry.

The other objection is that an old man will abuse young girls. We have laws against that already, and they can and should be enforced without bans on polygamy.

The more we look into this the more it becomes apparent that there is no rational basis to deny these freedoms to marry. Just prejudice.
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