Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Freedom Between People and For Relationships

What makes polyamory work form some can often be applied to monogamous or nonsexual relationships. Reading what polyfulcrum wrote here, about getting over worry about being able to offer someone else enough, helps to illustrate that.

For years, I've tried to make that choice for others. If I didn't feel like I had enough to give, I just didn't move into the relationship in the first place. Still not thinking that is a bad idea, actually. What's shifted is that I am trusting others more to let me know if what I have to give is sufficient for them, rather than unilaterally making that call.

It’s about communication and consent. If you’re happy with what they have to offer, and their happy with what you have to offer, and everyone is getting what they want, including, perhaps, from some others, then it works, doesn’t it?

Sometimes, people in these situations want to get married, and they should be able to. People outside of a relationship shouldn’t be to decide what’s best for that relationship, just as one person can’t decide for another person.
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