The Secret of Siblings

We have another exclusive interview to bring you. 

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law. Most can’t even be out of the closet or they’ll face persecution and prosecution under absurd incest laws, which, instead of focusing on abuse, also target consensual relationships.

The man interviewed below should be free to legally and publicly marry his lover, or simply be with her without having to hide, yet they can’t. Prejudice can be deadly. They are consenting adults; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for loving each other this way, and might be persecuted severely in addition.

Read the interview below and see for yourself what he has to say about the love they share. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?

Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label? 

*****

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe your background.

THIS INTERVIEW REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF THE INTERVIEWEE.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.

If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or on Wire messaging app at fullmarriageequality, X/Twitter at FullMEquality, or Facebook. I usually check for private/direct messages and respond in less than a day, so if I don't it might mean your message didn't get delivered.

If you know someone who is in a relationship that's anything like this, or "taboo" or "forbidden," please read this.

Living Consanguinamorously - What About Roles?

Q: In a consanguinamorous relationship, what happens to the biological roles?

This is sometimes asked as “Do they still see themselves as siblings (or parent/child, etc.)?” or various other questions.

A (Short): It depends. Every situation has some differences from others.

A (Long): One of the questions usually asked in the exclusive interviews featured on this blog is that very question. Consanguineous lovers are asked if they see each other primarily as lovers or as family or if those things are inseparable. Hopefully in any relationship, people see each other as people first and foremost.

Relationships come in many varieties.

Consanguinamorous Youth

This blog is about equal rights for consenting adults.

But what about legal minors? It is dangerous to ignore that many legal minors experiment, explore, and get affectionate. I'm talking about age peers. I'm also addressing young people who have feelings for a parent, aunt, uncle, or other significantly older relative. If an older person is coercing you, or messing with you while you (try to) sleep, that's NOT what this is about. Don't let anyone abuse you!

Much of this entry on how consanguinamorous people can protect themselves is relevant, as can this entry on living together.

This essay is a result of someone anonymous contacting this blog's sister Tumblr to describe a situation he had experienced in his life and to ask if there are any resources to help people who are currently in the position he'd been in so many years ago.

A subsequent message was from a teacher who had to report minors who've revealed their experiences with consanguineous sex, due to mandatory reporting laws that apply to people in certain jobs.

What do you do if you're in a consanguineous relationship or you think you have a consanguinamorous orientation, but you're under the age of consent or not a legal adult?

Please note: Most of this entry is going to be strictly about how things are and practical situations, not about the morality of any given situation or actions. While we welcome all adults and anyone struggling due to prejudice against their gender identity, sexual orientation, or relationships, this entry is NOT endorsing or advocating underage sex or anything else illegal.

Are These Fantasies Normal?

I'm continuing a series here of answers I posted to Quora that got attacked by censors.

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https://www.quora.com/Ive-been-fantasizing-about-my-sister-is-this-normal-Should-I-do-something-to-stop-this/answer/Keith-Pullman

I've been fantasizing about my sister, is this normal? Should I do something to stop this?

Keith Pullman

I have interviewed hundreds of people about their families. 4y

I don’t know how old you are, or how old your sister is, but if you’re a teenager or older, fantasies are common, and if your sister is older than you or no more than a few years younger, fantasizing about her isn’t abnormal.

Many people you know have fantasized about their own siblings.

Believe it or not, some of them have actually had sex with their sibling. It is common enough that you know someone who has, even if you’re not aware that they have.

If you’re like most people, you are going to have many fantasies throughout your life. And unless you have a very stunted imagination or are incredibly lucky, many of your fantasies won’t be fulfilled in real life. But at least some of them can be.

*****

NOTE: These specific answers in this series were "deleted" at Quora after being there for a while and being well-received. They were probably hidden from view because some bigot targeted me, as evidenced by the fact that many were deleted in rapid fire.

I have previously appealed such deletions successfully. However, whether or not my deleted answers are restored, I’ll be adding them to this blog. You’ll see for yourself there’s no reason to delete these answers.

An Additional Perspective on Mothers and Sons

 

If you're a regular visitor to Full Marriage Equality, you are familiar with the many interviews posted here with people who are in, or have been in, "forbidden" relationships. This time, we present an interview with someone who has extensive knowledge of, and experience counseling people regarding, familial affection, especially between mothers and sons. He brings his own, distinct perspective.

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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.

David: I'm a 50 year old Asian American man, college and self educated. Heterosexual. I'm both employed and self-employed. I am a spiritualist but I have also explored many religions and I have great respect for people's faiths in what I do. I have multiple income streams. I currently reside in the Western United States. 

What Better Time Than The Stroke of the New Year?

Have you been waiting to make a move?

Is there someone you’ve wanted so badly to kiss? (And maybe do much more with?)

For some of you, there’s no better time to do it than the stroke of the New Year, when midnight hits and 2024 becomes 2025.

Of course, this assumes they’d welcome a kiss, and it requires you actually be the same place as them.

If neither of you are problem drinkers, some bubbly might help and be appropriate. Maybe some leftover mistletoe?

Keep things pleasant and fun as midnight approaches.

Then, when everyone’s excited, take your chance when you can.

Kissing at the turn of the year or the moments just after is common even between people who’ve never kissed before: people who are already in relationships, friends, family. This could be your chance!

If you want someone to discuss your plans with you, contact Keith via email at fullmarriageequality protonmail dot com or on the Wire messaging app at fullmarriageequality.

You can also reach out or comment below to share your New Years memories.

NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #7

“What’s next?” “Where do we draw the line?” What's wrong with letting consenting adults have the freedom to love each other as they want and agree? Who has a problem with that? Rather than coming up with convoluted schemes for which groups of people will get which rights, why not support the rights of all adults? It’s really quite simple:

The right to marry or to personal consortium shall not be abridged or denied by the United States or any state on account of sex, gender, sexual orientation, ancestry, consanguinity, or number of participants.

(Adapt that to your country, province, etc.)


There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/p/discredited-invalid-arguments.html

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #6 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #8

Living Consanguinamorously - Dating Outside the Family

"Is it cheating to keep or start being with my relative while dating people outside the family?"

Cheating, which is not to be confused with ethical nonmonogamy, is violating existing agreements with one or more lovers while letting them believe the agreement continues to be in effect and unaltered. So if you have an ongoing sexual relationship with a close relative or family member you will keep, or you are pursuing one, you should not indicate to potential new lovers outside the family that you'll be sexually exclusive with them.

While many people find consanguinamorous relationships to be the best, or are consang in orientation, others are polyamorous (especially as an orientation) and either don't find other consanguineous lovers or have a need for someone who happens to be outside of the family. They might even want a unrelated lover as a practical matter, whether due to discrimination against consanguinamory or not. Please do not make someone an unwitting beard, however; it's generally a bad idea to deceive someone entering into a committed relationship with you because you aren't or can't be out about your orientation, relationships, or sex life.

There is not necessarily a need to tell potential new lovers you're involved in or pursuing consanguinamory. In most cases, outing yourself would be a bad idea, especially since consanguinamory is still illegal in many places. However, in many more places, ethical nonmonogamy has mostly been decriminalized or wasn't criminalized in the first place, depending on where you are, so it is far less of a problem to be out as an ethical nonmonogamist.

Do It This Way

Pansexual Pride Day

 

December 8th is Pansexual Pride Day, an annual celebration of the pansexual and panromantic community!

Pansexuals are people who have the capacity to form physical, romantic, and/or emotional attractions to people regardless of gender identity.

Pansexuals and panromantics should have their equal rights, and be free to share love, sex, kink, residence, and marriage with those who mutually consent, without bullying, discrimination, or criminalization.

If you’re pan or you’re an ally to people who are, please feel free to comment. We’d like to hear from you, and you can remain anonymous.

We Get Letters

This blog gets comments on many posts.

I wanted to print a couple of recent ones here because I couldn’t publish them in their original form as I needed to redact a few words.

I’m trying to keep things here as “safe for work” as possible, and certain combinations of letters prompt filters to kick in.

“Jenny p” has left several comments on this blog. Below is one she left after this post: https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2020/07/for-parents-considering-consanguinamory.html

I'm a mother with her son here but feel I can give some advice: I think continually reinforcing a culture in your household that discussion about needs and wants isn't bad, but actually welcome, really helps. Ideally it should be possible for a father to express he has a sexual desire and wants something with implicit understanding this is just statement of fact and not an obligation. When this is all laid out on the table it'd be up to the daughter to decide how she wants to best act. To have sex with her dad or not. What I think is important is to realize that the worst state is for her to not know and be robbed of that decision. Perhaps in either case she doesn't want to go further but if the relationship is healthy she would still welcome the transparency and honesty. 

 

I admit it's a hard culture to get to. There's a lot of social stigma. For my son and I he got to a stage where he was comfortable enough to say what'd make him happy and i was used to this enough to not take it as shock. At the start i always made sure to be happy and praise him for sharing what he felt and would make sure to be honest with how i felt too. 

 

When the taboo of just talking plainly breaks down i think things inevitably move fast. Once you know they want something, when there is no doubt, everything is simplified. for me i remember thinking "well he wants this, i want him to have it, and he says he's certain he desires it... there's no miscommunication and there's no one lying or deceit.... so why don't I?" 

 

I want fathers to be able to say to their daughter "i want you to [fellate me] every day and swallow my load, if you did that i'd make me soo happy" and have it be as normal a conversation as as a father telling his daughter what he'd love to have for dinner or his dreams for retirement.

Anonymous left a comment here: https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/2020/04/family-with-benefits.html

Myself and my elderly mother have enjoyed wonderful sex for sometime now and yes it’s very much like family with benefits, she is my sexual release from a sexless relationship, and I provide her with something she would otherwise be unable to experience. She absolutely loves intercourse and is very oral, often saying what a dirty sinful mother she is whilst we [do it]. We both derive enormous pleasure from what we are doing. How can this be wrong.

What do you think of those comments? Do you agree? Disagree?

You can leave comments within the specified rules after any entry on this blog, including anonymously.

Happy December!

December greetings!

Looks like life is going to be keeping me very busy for much of the month, but I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you, dear readers.

If you need someone to talk with, I hope to be about to keep being responsive to emails, chats, private messages, and direct messages.

There are, fortunately, some great spaces for LGBTQ+ people and nonmonogamous people. There’s still not so many great spaces for the consanguinamorous and people experienced in, or considering, consanguineous relationships or affection. But please know you’re not alone, and having such feelings or experiences doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with you. Such experiences and relationships can be natural, common, and positive.

The December holiday season can especially be a time consanguinamory is initiated or rekindled.

Read through the tag on consanguinamory for posts that might help you: https://marriage-equality.blogspot.com/search/label/consanguineous

See my recent personal note for more, including how to contact me privately.

Polyamory Day is November 23!

November 23 is Polyamory Day!

I am polyamorous, but even if I wasn’t, we should all support the rights of all, including the rights of polyamorous people.

Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one loving intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

The image reads: November 23 is Polyamory Day. Celebrate!

Feel free to share this image anywhere that’s appropriate as long as you’re doing so in support of polyamory and polyamorous people. 

Let consenting adults love each other how they mutually agree!

There is much diversity in polyamory. The uniting factors to polyamory include that it is ongoing nonmonogamy and not cheating.

It has been great to see awareness and acceptance of polyamory grow in recent years. Let's continue to make progress!

As always, comments are welcome below. Are you celebrating? If so, how?