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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

A Survey of Recent GSA News Coverage

We mentioned the recent news about apparent mother-son GSA couple Kim West and Ben Ford. Their story made it to many outlets and there were the usual expressions of ignorance and confusion from some, and the hate from the anti-equality bigots. The reaction is exactly why almost all people experiencing GSA stay in the closet.

Here's a round up of some of the news coverage of this couple and GSA. First up is something published at mirror.co.uk late on April 7,  2016.




A mother reunited with the son she gave up for adoption 30 years ago says now they’re in love - and trying for a baby together.

She did not raise him. So any allegations that she somehow "groomed" him for this is invalid.
Kim West, 51, has been in a relationship with her biological son Ben Ford, 32, for two years and believe they are ‘meant to be’ after she was forced to give him up for adoption just a week after he was born.
But the couple, who say their sex life is ‘incredible’ and are planning to get married, insist their relationship is not incest, the New Day reports.
Instead they claim it is ‘Genetic Sexual Attraction’, a term used for relatives who feel sexual attraction for each other after meeting as adults.
Sociologically, GSA isn't incest.

The couple were brought together after Ben, who was living in the US, sent his England-born mum a letter out of the blue in 2013.
Two years before Ben had married his wife Victoria, who he later split up with to be in a relationship with his mum.
This is one of the complications GSA can bring. We have no way of knowing if Ben and Victoria would have lasted if GSA didn't exist, but GSA can overwhelm someone who otherwise would have been faithful to the vows or agreements with an existing partner. If a relationship was already in trouble, well, it would be very difficult to survive GSA.
Three days later Ben told a disgusted Victoria he was leaving her for his mum and the couple flew to Michigan, where they had help from another GSA couple in setting up a new life.
That's interesting. Here and there, there are people who understand and are willing to help.

Over at ibtimes.com.au the write-up was done by
As its name suggests, GSA is a type of sexual attraction experienced by close relatives, including a parent and his/her child, who met as adults. GSA refers to the sexual desire between related people after having been denied to form proper emotional bond, according to GSA Forums. Like in West and Ford’s case, they parted when Ford was still an infant and only reunited when he was an adult.

Jennifer Newton for MailOnline had some more details at dailymail.co.uk...
He told New Day that he told his wife: 'Everytime I have had sex with you since I met her, I imagine its her I am kissing, otherwise I can't perform.'

West, who grew up in Islington, London, became pregnant while studying in California and after giving birth to her son aged 19, gave him up for adoption.

After Ford was adopted a week after he was born, she came back to the UK but was unable to make a relationship work.

But in December 2013, she received a letter from her son, who was looking to track down his biological parents.
This has happened over and over again to so many.
Incest is illegal in the couple's home state of Michigan and judges in the state are able to give out life sentences to those found guilty of the offence. 

However, it is unclear if a case against them would be pursued and the couple say they would move if that were the case. 

It can happen to siblings, half-siblings, parents and children, usually when one has been abandoned, adopted or raised apart due to divorce or separation.

In the UK, sex with a parent, child, sibling, nephew, niece, uncle or aunt is defined as incest and is illegal under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 with a maximum two-year penalty.
In the US, rules vary and the state of Rhode Island actually decriminalised incest in 1989.
Last I checked, Rhode Island hadn't collapsed.
Writing in the New Day newspaper, psychologist Corinne Sweet explained: "At a genetic level we are conditioned to find people who look like us attractive.

"In the first seconds of meeting someone, we make a judgement about whether they are friend or foe, and whether they can help us reproduce our genes.


"We have an almost tribal connection with family members with similar features.


"At the same time, people who are adopted or fostered feel deeply rejected.
"They have experienced a profound wound which isn't easily healed.


"So when a son meets his birth mother, he feels a great rush of need.
"There's an attraction and a longing there, and when it's combined with the appeal of genetic similarity, it becomes a very powerful and complex cocktail which is incredibly seductive."
It is important to note that GSA also happens in people who have no idea they've been reunited with a close relative, as in they don't know the person to whom they're intensely attracted is the genetic father or genetic half-sibling they didn't even know was their relative.

at metro.co.uk looked at some of the response...
The internet hate machine is doing its thing again, and today’s subjects are Kim West and Ben Ford.
Yes, there has been a whole lot of hate.
Incest is one of the biggest taboos of all, so the internet has its pitchforks out. But Kim and Ben deserve help, not hate. They’re caught up in something enormously powerful and problematic.
The only problem is that there is hate beings directed at consenting adults for loving each other. The only help they need is for their rights to be protected.
It’s sad because something has gone awfully wrong. The ‘incest taboo’ exists for very good evolutionary reasons: incest can magnify genetic abnormalities and health problems.
How likely is she to be having a biological child with him? This is Discredited Argument #18.

The Westermarck Effect appears to happen when people live in close proximity – and of course, Kim and Ben didn’t. But there must be more to it than that, or every adopted child reunited with their biological parents would experience similar attraction. And they don’t.And that’s why Kim and Ben need help, not hate.
Most people are attracted to people of the same race. If someone isn't, do they need "help?" Most men and are attracted to women, and most women are attracted to men. When that isn't the case, do they need "help?" Most women are attracted to men who are taller than they are. When that isn't the case, do they need "help?"

There’s been precious little research into the phenomenon, possibly because of the knee-jerk disgust we feel: getting funding for research into GSA can’t be easy.
That means people like Kim and Ben aren’t getting the help they need – and the online criticism means that other Kims and other Bens might not try to get help in the future.
In a world where adoption has been joined by IVF, sperm donation and surrogacy there will be more Kims, and more Bens.
That's all true.

Thankfully he doesn't see this as an abuse situation. Unfortunately, while he's trying to be supportive, he doesn't recognize their rights.

Back at mirror.co.uk, gave more info....

A British mother who has admitted having an incestuous relationship with her son was in hiding as police said she could face up to 15 years in prison .
What an absurd waste of public resources that would be.
If a member of the public was to complain about the couple, US police would be duty bound to investigate.
Law enforcement personnel make decisions all of the time to not investigate.
A spokeswoman for Michigan State police told the Mirror: “Under State law incest between two consenting adult is a third degree felony punishable by up to 15 years in prison.

“Anyone convicted of such an offence would also be required to sign the sex offenders register for life.”
Ridiculous. Why waste a police officer's time with something like that? Why waste a court's?
Ben added: “When I met Kim, I couldn’t think of her as my mum but instead as a sexual being.
Of course. She's not the woman who raised him.

continued the coverage at mirror.co.uk with other cases this blog has already covered.

In addition to the infamous comments sections after the news items, discussions popped up everywhere, including one at babycenter.com.au.

There were many of the usual "eww!" comments, but there was also this one of profound ignorance from M2bjune2012 ...
I didn't read this article but I remember reading an American one about an estranged dad and daughter getting together.
It's just wrong on so many levels. Especially where parents and children are involved because in my mind it's like paedophilia.
Uhm, pedophilia is attraction to prepubescent children. It has nothing to do with sex between consenting adults.

I'd drop them like a bad habit, yep. And report it, seeing as it's illegal in Victoria and consent is irrelevant.
What terrible person. She should instead consider this. The discussion there is filled with hate, little reason at all.

We obviously still have a lot of work to do raising awareness, defeating the hate, and securing rights for all consenting adults.
Many, many people have experienced GSA. Many of them have made love with their GSA partner(s). Some of them even develop spousal relationships. It's a lot more common than people think, and as they wag their fingers and talk about how disgusted they are, they probably know someone who has experienced GSA.
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1 comment:

  1. I hope this mother and son will succeed in their efforts to beget a child.

    ReplyDelete

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