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Monday, April 4, 2016

We Get Letters of Appreciation

Anonymous left a comment on this blog's most popular entry...
It's really reassuring to read this blog. I feel like the word "incest" has become a really dirty term to describe something that shouldn't be considered dirty or unnatural. I guess everyone's need to fit in with society only serves to perpetuate this derogatory notion that incest is bad, when in reality things are rarely so black and white.

I'm 25 and I have crushed hard on my brother ever since puberty. I originally thought it was a phase I was going through, and chose to keep my guilty secret to myself. But as time passed and my sexual infatuation with my brother showed no signs of letting up, I began to question whether there was something wrong with me. I did the only thing a 14 year old girl could do in that situation, as incest is illegal and and frowned upon. I probed away at my friends to gauge their reaction and determine what was acceptable and what was "gross."

Thankfully, you've written a very informative and open-minded blog which I hope will serve to reassure anyone who is going through what I initially went through during my teens.

If by any chance there is a young person reading this comment, my best advice to you would be to relax and remember that we can't help who we are attracted to. I would also say that peer pressure is a big factor when growing up so if you wish to talk to someone, then I would recommend making good use of your online anonymity to talk openly with someone who has gone through what you are going through. My final piece of advice would be to give it time and if your feelings haven't wavered then the next thing to do is talk to the person you are having these feelings for. That might seem completely nuts to you, I know I was terrified of my brother finding out about my feelings for him. But, this only concerns you and the person you are having these feelings for. Remember that being told someone has deep feelings for you is the biggest compliment and most heart warming thing in the world. Especially if those feelings are mutual, and you never know if they're mutual if you both refuse to confront them.

Revealing my feelings to my brother, at the age of 16, was the best decision I made and one I wished I had made sooner. It was a huge relief when I realised that he wasn't disgusted and our normal brother-sister relationship wasn't damaged. It was also a massive weight off my shoulders and I feel so privileged to have what feels like a very unique relationship with my brother.
That's wonderful. It can take a lot of courage to be so vulnerable, and I'm glad it worked out. It is important to remember that there is a difference between love and abuse.

If any of this resonates with you, whether you're involved or have such a crush, or are a friend or family member of someone involved, know that you're not alone, but be cautious.
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