Someone left an inspiring comment on this blog entry today. Anonymous wrote...
My sister and I are and have been in a consensual, incestuous relationship for over 40 years and we have been living as husband and wife for 32 years. We have 3 children, 2 daughters and a son. We are full blooded brother and sister, not half or step. Our kids turned out just fine, no handicaps, no diseases or anything like that at all. Our neighbors, people we work with, the kids teachers and the kids friends and there parents no nothing about relationship. To them we are just the regular neighbor/parents next door raising a family.
Congratulations on your love, Anonymous!
We sure hope this person contacts us. We want to get in touch! Isn't is ridiculous that they can't legally marry yet???
Like any other relationships, although I've known GSA romances that have lasted until death, some end, or go through separations. A couple of comments were left today responding to myths about GSA, by someone who used to be in a GSA-initiated romance.
The first comment was left after this entry...
I lived a perfectly normal life when I was in a GSA relationship, did everything I normally would, the only abnormal parts where the parts that the law intrude on, it's hard enough walking around with eyes behind both shoulders but doable, being stuffed in the closet, unable to marry and unable to have kids is the real abnormal part because when you take away the fact that we was related, all that's left is a great relationship with someone you have extremely strong feelings for.It's ridiculous that anyone would have to take steps to protect themselves.
This second comment is much longer. It was left here.
As somebody with experience on this subject I feel I should shed a light on it and give some perspective.I confirmed that these comments about GSA were left by our friend "Billy Lee Black." The interview his lover did is here.
I am no longer with my half sister, but I cherished the relationship we had and I can't tell you I regret it regardless of how it went.
Is it wrong?, absolutely not, it can be a beautiful and wonderful experience for the individuals involved, pretty much any reasoning that comes up to deny GSA relationships can be easily and swiftly debunked, like anything else that still stands from ye olde times, the morals that stand in favour of the law are based on religious beliefs and in today's modern world, religious beliefs should not dictate laws.
Is it destructive?, yes and no, it depends, I'll go into it in bits.
It's destructive in the sense that it has a possibility to make or break you, as is the case with any relationship.
Only it's hard to separate issues as a family member and issues as a life partner, at least this was the case in my experience,so more times than not either the brother/sister side of our relationship suffered on both counts or the relationship it self suffered on both counts.
Me and my sister no longer speak, she wanted to be brother and sister and nothing more for the future, as a codependent and in general a pretty sensitive individual, I know that I could not maintain that brother/sister dynamic after everything we have experienced with one another, it's selfish but for me, it's either we have what we have or nothing at all because I know my limits and the idea of having to live with seeing her with another would just be too much for me to take.
So it's destructive in the way that when it end's it can end in such a way, but again, this could be the case for any relationship after a break up and beyond, but because you are also a family member, your relationship as a family member suffers as well.
It's a risk I feel that you take or leave, but it's a risk that should 100% be free to make without fear of prosecution.
Now here is the really destructive part which is not the fault of the individuals in the relationship,the law's in place, as is always the case.
It's not easy living in fear that you may be caught out, that somebody in the street may catch on and rat you out, it puts a major strain on the relationship and eventually that strain can start to drain you.
People in these relationships have all access denied, I can't tell you how many times it got under my skin that the relationship could go no further, it would consistently hit a brick wall.
I would frequently visit jewelers and the like and just browse, only wishing I could pick out a ring and place it on her finger.
I used to sit alone at night while she was asleep and be in tears about it, because truly my sister is the most beautiful woman I have ever met and yet... I couldn't give her the life she deserved, I felt immense guilt for that.
I would love to walk down the aisle with her, I would love to show her off to all of my friends, I would love to show her to the world because I was proud that she was mine but I couldn't act and express this feeling, it was denied.
I have a child and so does she, I would love nothing more than to have a child with her and make the family complete but this couldn't happen either because again, that fear is always lurking around the corner.
We would get caught out somehow, we would have our baby placed in care, we would be separated and most likely, we would spend our days in jail.
I could give my sister nothing to look forward to and this made me clinically depressed because I know together we was at our best.
I only hope now that a man comes along and does what I couldn't do, I won't be a part of it but it would ease the pain in my heart to know she is somebody's world and is taken care of the way she deserves.
In a message, Billy Lee Black explained...
Yes we broke up a month or so back, I had to move out before the break up happened, a part of it was that she was scared of being found out and having her son taken from her.
How sad. Nobody should have to break up or live with that fear for loving another adult. This is why we need to make full marriage equality happen sooner rather than later. If you are, or were, in relationships like this and want to connect with others, there are places to have discussions.