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Saturday, December 5, 2015

The Pain in Spain Repeated Refrain

There's been much interest around the planet about the couple in Spain who've had their infant (temporarily, hopefully) taken away. We wrote about this previously here.


Here's a few examples of the coverage, and below that, we'll analyze opinion about this.

Will Grice has coverage at independent.co.uk.


has the coverage at cosmopolitan.com.

Here's coverage at motherhoodinstyle.net.

has the coverage at huffingtonpost.com.au.

Sophie Tighe has the coverage at thesun.co.uk.

Now we get into the blatant opinions. had coverage at mommyish.com under the headline "Incestuous Father-Daughter Couple Fights for Return of Their Baby, Which They Probably Should Not Get."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and when it comes to relationships there is a fine gray line between “legal” and “awful,” but this case of a couple from Spain who are fighting the courts for the return of their new baby is nowhere near that line, because the couple are a father and his teenage daughter, and everything about this case is positively stomach-churning in its horribleness.
That's not a reason. It begs the question.



According to The Local, incest is not illegal in Spain as long as both members of a couple are consenting adults, and the age of consent is 16. That means the fact that this 36-year-old man just had a baby with his 18-year-old daughter is probably technically legal, despite the fact that it is completely horrifying.
Why is  it horrifying?
The father, who is known only as Cris, says their sexual father-daughter relationship is completely normal, despite all evidence to the contrary.
What evidence is that?
It was Cris’ job to be a parent, not a friend–and certainly not a f---buddy–to his adolescent daughter. This situation is horrible, and it’s on him.
I agree that he was, if present, supposed to be a parent. It doesn't exclude the possibility that they could have become lovers in a positive way. Provided he wasn't abusive, the only horrifying thing about this is everyone interfering.
Cris is insisting that he should get his daughter/granddaughter back on the grounds that incest is not illegal in Spain, and that the age of consent is 16, so the fact that he impregnated his daughter appears to be technically legal. Still, it is horrifying, and a judge ruled that the baby should go into state custody pending a full investigation of the situation, which makes sense.
Repeating your opinion doesn't make it true.
I mean, this guy had one baby girl already, and just look how that turned out. It’s easy to see why a judge would take the new baby away.
By that reasoning, nobody should be allowed to marry someone who is already a parent. After all, if they'll have sex with a grown person. they might abuse that person's young child! It's senseless.
Cris is awful. He was the adult in this situation, and the parental figure, and he had all the authority in the relationship. A less horrible human being would have been a father to his daughter, not some kind of gross father/husband hybrid.
This writer wouldn't have anything to say bad about Cris if the young woman had found some random 36-year-old stranger and taken up with him. Cris appears to love her and he knows her.

Becky Bracken at thestir.cafemom.com endorses taking babies away from their parents if she disapproves of who they love, apparently.
And, amazingly, they're not breaking any Spanish laws. Incest is legal and the age of consent in Spain is 16.
What's amazing is that there are any laws anywhere still again consenting adults having sex.
Once Sara became pregnant, her mother, now divorced from Cris went to authorities to report her ex for this and other abuse he inflicted upon the family.

According to her. What's the evidence?
A teenager who has sex with her father is being molested -- plain and simple.
Here we see Bracken's prejudice. Does she include when the father never even knew he was a father, meets a young woman in a bar, and has sex with her, not knowing that she is his genetic daughter? She has no knowledge of the dynamics involved here. Is it her body, her choice, or not?

There is no question Spanish authorities have done the right thing by removing the baby from the abusive home. Let's hope they don't have to send her back to Sara and Cris.
If there wasn't abuse, the family should be reunited.

Assuming that this was coerced or grooming, Bracken then goes on to posit that there was likely other forms of abuse, too. But her starting assumption may not be correct. There are women who would vehemently disagree that this had to be a matter of abuse.
And if he'd be willing to couple up with Sara, doesn't that also put their baby girl in real danger from a similar fate?

As I said above, by that reasoning, nobody should be allowed to marry someone who is already a parent. After all, if they'll have sex with a grown person. they might abuse that person's young child! It's senseless.
Sara is the ultimate victim in this case. And while it's heartbreaking to see a mother separated from her child, Sara is clearly unable to make decisions in the best interest of her daughter's welfare.
That's not clear at all.
Sara will eventually grow up and have to face what happened.
You mean being abused by her own government?

There's a discussion going on at community.babycentre.co.uk, but when I checked it was mostly all hate and Discredited Arguments, just like the negative comments above.

No matter who is disgusted, their relationship is legal in Spain and there's no good reason to deny consenting adults their rights. How many women check the DNA of the older men they go home with after a night out to make sure the man isn't their secret long lost father? Either we accept that women have control over their own bodies or we don't. It's her body, it is her choice. His ex has made allegations. If the allegations prove true, prosecute him for abuse. If they are unfounded, the baby should be returned and the family should be left alone, and be allowed to marry if they want.

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1 comment:

  1. Same BS as always - they don't know the whole story, they just assume any kind of father-daughter relationship must be abusive and wrong. If there was no abuse, then this father and daughter and their child should be allowed to be a family.

    -Liz Smith

    ReplyDelete

To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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