The Unjust Prosecution of Patrick Stuebing

Will you be spending the weekend with your loved one(s), with no fear of law enforcement barging in to break you up and prosecute you, or worse? If so, good for you. But there are many places in the world where someone can be imprisoned, or worse, for being who they are and loving the people they do. Sometimes it is because they have more than one spouse, with the consent of all. Other times, it is because they are with someone of the same gender. In the case of Patrick Stuebing  and so many others, it is because the lovers are close genetic relatives.

Imagine... the government telling you that you can't be with another consenting adult. As I noted  in a post yesterday, the so-called European Court of Human Rights again made a mockery of its name by denying Stuebing the basic human right of freedom of association and the right to love. As you may recall, Patrick Stuebing and Susan Karolewski were not raised together, and this appears to be a case of Genetic Sexual Attraction.

Here's the report at bbc.co.uk...

Stuebing, who was convicted of incest and spent three years in prison, did not meet his natural sister until he tracked down his family as an adult.


He had been adopted as a child and only made contact with his natural relatives in his 20s.


The siblings grew close after their mother died.

Three years in prison. For simply loving someone. That is an injustice.

Outrageous Court Decision Backs Bigotry

I'll write more about it later, but it is all over the news that so-called European Court of Human Rights has ruled against Patrick Stuebing, who was prosecuted for the "crime" of loving his genetic sister. What is more basic of a human right than freedom of association and the right to love another consenting adult? If adults do not have the right to love each other in the way we want, what rights do we really have?

German courts did not violate a Leipzig man's privacy rights by convicting him for incest with his younger sister — with whom he fathered four children, the European Court of Human Rights said Thursday.

The court, part of the 47-nation Council of Europe based in eastern Strasbourg, France, said German courts didn't violate the rights of Patrick Stuebing, who was sentenced to 14 months in prison in 2005. He is now free.

The case had prompted calls for Germany to follow countries like France, Turkey, Japan and Brazil in amending its laws so that consensual sexual relations between adult relatives are no longer illegal.

An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence,and marriage with any consenting adults.

For more, see...
Discredited Arguments
Consanguinamory FAQ
Genetic Sexual Attraction

Muslims Need Relationship Rights, Too

From winnipegfreepress.com comes this article by Nadia Kidwai about Muslim women speaking out against stereotypes.

In A Prayer Answered, Tolu Adiba writes of the inner turmoil she experiences as a practising Muslim who also happens to be gay, and the love she finds with another niqab-wearing Muslim woman, describing their relationship as "Two orthodox girls with an unorthodox love."

Three, written by African-American convert Asiila Imaani, tells of her journey as a divorced single mother searching for a Muslim husband through various Muslim matrimonial services and eventually finding love and support in a polygamous marriage from both her husband and her "sister-wife."

It doesn't matter to me what religion someone identifies with. What matters to me is that our laws equally protect the right for consenting adults to share love, sex, residence, and marriage.

Possibly Polyamorous

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Near Melbourne?

Great sex educator Tristan Taormino talked to Kate O’Halloran at gaynewsnetwork.com.au...

“In the grand scheme of things, polyamory is still a pretty new concept. The discussion about non-monogamous relationships within mainstream media has increased in the last few years, but I wouldn’t say that ‘polyamory’ is a household word yet or that a huge percentage of the population understands the basics about it.”

Taormino hopes to go some way towards providing her audiences in Melbourne with more of an insight into the logistics of negotiating an open relationship in her class entitled ‘Making Open Relationships Work’, which discusses practical strategies for making polyamory possible.

Readers near Melbourne: Depending on when you read this, it might not be too late to attend...

An Evening with Tristan Taormino, April 11, 303 Sydney Rd, Brunswick
Making Open Relationships Work, April 12, 225 Bourke St, Melbourne
Information and bookings – www.pleasuresalonmelbourne.wordpress.com

My usual disclaimer... "polyamorous" is not synonymous with "open." There are polyamorous relationships that are closed.

A Blogger Comes Out

Briana Blair wrote "The Unfortunate Shame of Polyamory, My 'Coming Out' Story."

The shame and fear regarding this subject has been tearing my up inside. However, after a few long talks with my husband, and assurances from him that’s he’ll have my back, we’ve decided that it’s time for me to “come out of the closet” and be honest with myself and the world about who and what I am.

Nobody should have to hide who they are.

Over the last few days I can honestly say that I’ve gained a much greater understanding of what it must be like for homosexuals to come out to the world. I have a much greater respect for them and the courage it takes them to be honest with themselves and the people around them. I may still be mostly straight, but I can see and feel just how hard it all is. People can be so narrow-minded, judgmental and cruel, it takes serious brass balls to put your sexuality out in the open.

Yes, it does. There are so many people out there, some of them with power, who hate other people because of things like this.

It wasn’t until my current relationship, which is with someone who is wonderful, understanding and intelligent, that I was able to talk about and begin to explore this part of my nature.

 Supportive people can make all of the difference.

I know that some people in my inner circle won’t give a flip. If I find another boyfriend I won’t have to hide it from them. Extended family, friends and people I’m connected to in other ways may be less loving and understanding. That’s where the fear comes in. The time has come though for me to face the music and put it out there. 

What if someone you knew came out to you, as LGBT or poly or consanguinamorous?

Best wishes, Briana! You go!

Polygyny Is Not A Problem...

...if there is gender equality under the law. At lovetimesthree.com, Joe addressed the anti-equality arguments that the polygamous freedom to marry causes inequality for women and hurts boys.

Several of the “lost boys” (a term they very much dislike) I have worked with in the past said they left Colorado City because they did not want the strict religious restrictions and responsibilities, not because they were coerced. Some were told to leave if they would not live by the families rules. When we did the 20/20 interview with ABC, the producer and I talked about the “Lost Boy” perception. He said he had a lot of pressure to do a story on it and tried to, but he could never get credible evidence to justify a story that those young men were forced out systematically. That  some boys were abandoned by their families for disobedience is true; but not enough evidence exists for a blanket statement of every young man that left the community was so older men could have more wives.


The boys that worked for me were employed outside of the community and decided they did not want to adhere to the strict religious mores required of them. Also they did not want to turn their money over to their Fathers, and that is why they left.

As he notes, a blanket statement can't be made. Some boys are abandoned by their family. Some leave.

If popular culture, television and movies are correct, (ie. He’s Just Not That Into You) finding men that want the commitment of marriage is much harder than finding men who want multiple sexual partners. I don’t think the polygamy detractors need to worry about running out of women because the problem is finding men willing to take on the commitment.  In Love Times Three we talk about our own experience in our families where overwhelmingly it is women who more often choose this lifestyle.


What gets missed is that polygyny, at least according to our beliefs, was never intended for the entire population, nor has it been practiced by the entire population historically. I don’t recommend it unless all parties feel inspired, are making a conscious choice, and have a deep abiding connection with all those involved. But to limit my wives or any other intelligent woman the choice based upon such rationale of inequality is silly.

I've addressed the lies about polygamy before. With gender equality and the full freedom to polygamy (not just polygyny,) there's no problem. A woman should be free to not marry, to divorce if married, and to marry the mutually agreeing adult or adults of her choosing... even if that adult is already married.

Polyamory Can Mean More Relationship Security

The polyamorous have taken to tumblr like duck takes to water. Just see where, we read  "Why polyamory actually makes us feel MORE secure about our relationships."

We were talking about his insecurities surrounding me beginning to date S (which is going wonderfully, by the way!), and after a lot of really great dialogue, he said some things that really stuck out to me:


“Actually, it really does the opposite of make me insecure. It’s an ego boost, really. What it says to me is that even though you’re dating him, it hasn’t changed your desire to be with me. The fact that you want to be with me despite seeing other people says that there are things about our relationship you can’t get anywhere else. It means you find things about me irreplaceable, things that you don’t have in another relationship, and that preserves the value of our relationship. If your interest in Person A doesn’t diminish once you start dating Person B, it means that Person A is special enough and irreplaceable enough to keep around, no matter who else is a part of your life.”

It is an important point.

As far as tumblr... maybe I should add that to my outreach?

I may or may not blog tomorrow (Easter). Enjoy the rest of  the weekend and don't each too much candy.

Ghana First Family Stuck in the Sixteenth Century

As we can see in this article at peacefmonline.com, allegations of incest remain a tool for personal destruction and political attacks, just as they have throughout history.

Dr. Sekou Nkrumah, the controversial son of Ghana’s first President says Dr. Nathan Kwame Nkrumah who claims to be the second son of Dr. Kwame Nkrumah had a point in time proposed to marry his sister Samia Nkrumah.

According to Sekou Nkrumah, he wonders why someone who claims to be the son of Nkrumah would want to marry his own sister.

Why does anyone want to marry anyone? Love, sex, companionship...

In an interview with XYZ News, Dr. Sekou Nkrumah said his siblings have challenged the authenticity of the story of Dr. Nathan Kwame Nkrumah and would only accept him if he tenders in substantive evidence to support his claims.

“My problem is that you don’t go around saying you are Nkrumah’s son when you are not. How can you be Nkrumah’s son when all this time nobody has heard of you?

It’s called… Nkrumah having sex with another woman. I don’t know if it happened or not, but it is possible, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, Dr. Nathan Kwame Nkrumah has laughed off the claims by Dr. Sekou Nkrumah.

According to him, Dr. Sekou Nkrumah has no right to pass judgment on his eligibility to be Dr. Nkrumah’s son.

He added that he is not perturbed about the difficulty in accepting him as a son of Dr. Nkrumah by the recognized children of Dr. Nkrumah.

Whatever the truth is, using allegations of consensual incest (or sexual orientation, for that matter) as a political tool is a practice that needs to end.

Go Check Out Charlie Glickman's Site

Charlie Glickman provides great adult sex education. In this article, he asks, “Why Can’t We Have Good Articles About Polyamory?”

Geoff Capp left a comment answering that question…

Because most of the people writing them (i.e., most people) consider themselves monogamous (even if they aren’t) and see poly-anything as a threat to their rightness.  Monogamy, often religiously-based, is as much a religion for many people as is free-market capitalism, party politics, or computer platform.  (To be fair, many poly folk get religious about poly as well.)  Any disagreement with a sincerely-held religious tenet is often perceived as an attack, so a certain amount of defensiveness is to be expected.

Also, for a similar reason, most people writing about it have no experience and less idea of what’s really going on, and are (and generally must be) more interested in selling a good story than in reporting “fair and balanced” facts.  The majority of their market, in many cases, is the same religiously monogamous majority mentioned above, so lather, rinse, repeat.

Thankfully, we are getting more positive articles about polyamory.

Fun Times in Melbourne

Readers of this blog who are in the Melbourne area might want to go see “goth, kinky, fat, married, queer” Lisa-Skye, who was interviewed by Nicole Haddow of melbournetimesweekly.com.au…

The comedian’s show Ladyboner at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival has already been a huge hit at the Melbourne Fringe Festival. 

For the uninitiated, a ladyboner, according to Lisa-Skye, is a female erection and she’ll happily expand on the subject with delightfully indulgent sketches throughout the show.

She points out that she’s married to a man, but she’s also polyamorous – not bi-sexual, that’s different she says. ‘‘I’m a bit slutty. I love my husband, but he doesn’t have boobs and I like boobs.’’

According to the article…

See Ladyboner at the Comedy Festival from March 29 to April 21 at the John Curtin Hotel. Tickets: $12–$20 from ticketmaster.com.au

Polyamory Requires Maturity and Honesty

Psychotherapist Adrienne Parker has some clients who are polyamorous.

Many people who are living in polyamorous relationships are married and deeply committed to their marriage partners as well as to their other love interests. Emotional maturity and honesty are sacrosanct in polyamory. People who choose this lifestyle are bucking the familial and moral norm of the social construct. They are releasing the dream of the white-picket-fence relationship model that most of us grew up with and creating a new dream, one of more open, honest loving in unlimited ways.

Actually, there are poly people living in homes with white picket fences. Poly people are everywhere, even if they don’t tell everyone they are poly.

Polyamory is a nonmonogamous relationship style but it's actually more about sharing love and emotional intimacy with more than one partner than it is about sex. With open hearts and clear communication, sex is an option, not a requirement, of polyamory.

That’s a great way of putting it.

Polyamory is an option. Strict monogamy is an option. There are many honest, ethical options, and our laws should not punish consenting adults from choosing one option over another.