The man interviewed below shouldn't have had to hide the love he shared with his partner. Prejudice can be deadly. They weren't hurting anyone; why should they have been denied their rights? In much of the world, they could be criminally prosecuted for the love, they shared and might be persecuted severely in addition.
Read the interview below and see for yourself what this man has to say about the additional bond he shared. You may think this relationship was interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic, but whatever your reaction, should lovers like these be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they love each other this way?
Also please note that someone you love, respect, and admire could be in a similar relationship right now. Should they be attacked and denied rights because of the "incest" label?
**WARNING: Mild descriptions of sexual activity are included.**
*****
Anonymous Man: I live in a big Mediterranean city. I’m an average guy, one you would past by in a street and never notice was there. I was average in my school performance and continued to be average in my college years and the rest of my life after that.
Growing up, I was so shy I never actually dated a woman, never had the courage to ask someone out.
And as you can probably tell, I’m not any good at describing myself, too.
FME: Are you married?
No, I’m not married. My sister is married and that’s why I'm answering these questions by myself.
FME: How would you describe your genders? How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation... are you heterosexual, bisexual, what? Are you monogamous, polyamorous or....?
I am a heterosexual male and my sister is heterosexual, too.
I don’t know if I am monogamous. I am currently in a relationship and find myself looking online for material to masturbate. I don’t think I am what you call a faithful partner.
FME: You currently live with...?
I live alone and partly with my current girlfriend.
FME: You are were in a sexual and romantic relationship with your full biological sister?
I was in a sexual and romantic relationship with my full biological sister in our teen years. I guess we were curious about each other from our younger years but the serious things started when I was about 14 and she was 11.
FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like? Were alternative lifestyles/sex discussed in your family, and if so, how? Can you describe your sexual awakening?
My family is a normal and conservative family with a strict dad and a mom who handled the things at home.
I can remember an incident were me and my sister were young and were playing mom and dad in bed, pretending to have sex.
But it was in my teen years I started having an urge to masturbate.
FME: How did sexual affection become a part of the relationship between you and your sister?
We were always curious about the other's body. She always looked at me when I was naked and sharing a room and a bathroom that was a common thing. We never were shy with each other.
Things started when she was about to go to high school and I as a bigger brother wanted to let her know what boys do and what to expect. I had actually no idea, only things in TV and random porn. So one day in our room she was lying on her bed and I started showing her how things work and what goes where. When I touched her, I noticed that she liked it. And of course I noticed my erection.
One thing led to another and gradually it was something happening almost daily. I masturbated her over her panties at first but that too gradually led to full nudity from her side.
From the moment I first touched her sexually, I felt that this was more than a game or plain curiosity.
FME: Can you describe your feelings during that process?
Every time it was happening my heart was racing. I now know that I wanted her sexually and I’m sure she wanted me, too.
As soon as we were finished, we were snapping back to normal brother/sister relationship. Of course, I was always thinking about those events, but we were good at keeping things separately.
FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together? Do you, or have you had feelings like this for any other close family members whether they are genetic relatives or not?
No, I had no idea this was possible. I thought we were the only people in the world that were doing things like this. I never had any feelings about any other relative.
FME: How do you describe the sex/lovemaking? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic? Some people say familial eroticism is inherently kinky.
It was like a normal couple having sex or lovemaking. Sometimes it was erotic and other times it was to blow off some steam. It never felt kinky to me. Of course, we knew some thought it was wrong so we took every precaution. When mom and dad weren’t home it was like a normal couple engaging in foreplay and moving on.
FME: Describe your relationship as it was then. Did you see each other as brother and sister, or lovers, or were those two roles inseparable at that time?
We were together for most of our teen years. We were brother/sister for the rest of the people and lovers in our room. I guess you can say that the roles were inseparable.
FME: Tell us about her having a boyfriend at the time. Did he know? Were you jealous of him?
She had a boyfriend for a while and of course I was jealous. No one knew about us.
FME: Did you ever literally sleep together?
Yes, we did.
FME: When, why, and how did the sexual side of your relationship end? Was that difficult for you?
When I went for college, we grew apart. It was clear that she wanted a normal relationship, one that she could expect marriage, and later children. You can say that in some way I never got over it.
FME: How is your relationship with her now?
Like a normal brother and sister.
FME: Did the sexual experiences with each other make your relationship better?
I guess. We were always on the same team.
FME: Would you get back together with her as a sexual partner if possible?
I can’t really say. Sometimes I think it would be possible. Other times I don’t.
FME: Does anyone in your life know the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out?
No one in our family knows. I told a girlfriend of mine, more of a friend with benefits, about this and she was supportive. She is the only one who knows all of this with very much detail.
She was kind of shocked at first, but we got over it and later used it as a role play thing between us.
FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that was?
You live in constant fear and can never do things in public. You have to live away from your home to be somewhat free.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having that kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this was you abusing her?
I was not abusing her and that is her opinion as well. As for the rest of the people, I don’t care anymore. People constantly disapprove what they find disturbing by their standards.
FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you have done so?
Marriage means nothing to me. I never wanted that. I wanted us to be together as a couple. Legal validation from any kind of authorities is of no interest to me.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a sibling?
You must come true to your feelings. If there is a chance to talk, don’t miss it. Chances in these situations are rare.
FME: Would you support your own children having similar experiences as you had with your sister?
Of course, I would.
FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?
I suck at advice, but if I can say one thing it would be not to judge other people.
FME: Do you consider yourself consanguinamorous in orientation, or could you be fulfilled in a relationship with someone who isn’t a close relative?
All I can say is that my normal relationships don’t feel fulfilling. Maybe I haven’t met the right girl? I really don’t know.
They were consenting and weren't hurting anyone, and yet they wouldn't even be able to exercise their basic human right to marry as things are now. They can't even be open about the love they shared without risking harassment or much worse.
Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason. We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.
You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life, around the world, who are in consanguinamorous relationships or have been.
If you are, or were, in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, or that of someone you know, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or see here.
If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.
Thank you, Anonymous, for doing this interview about your consanguinamorous relationship! We wish you well in finding fulfillment, however that might be done.
so much pseudo-information about consanguinamory out there.
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