Thursday, March 1, 2018

A Loving Young Couple Denied Their Right to Marry

People in consanguinamorous relationships are everywhere, though consanguinamorists tend to be closeted. Fortunately, some are willing to be interviewed for this blog. As a result, Full Marriage Equality has featured scores of exclusive interviews with lovers are denied the freedom to be open about their love and are, by law, denied the freedom to marry and have that marriage treated equally under the law.

The man and woman interviewed below should be free to legally marry, yet they can't, and they could be imprisoned and have their lives ruined if they were outed to the wrong people. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a a few US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love

Read the interview below and see for yourself what this brother has to say, and what his sister also offers. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it ideal, even highly erotic and romantic, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights simply because they enjoy what we call double love?

WARNINGS: Self-harm and mildly explicit sexuality.

FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourselves.

Anonymous Brother: We are Caucasian, American, living in a suburban area in the South-Eastern United States. No, not Alabama, that’s a stereotype! Slender body forms, brown hair, sometimes dark-dirty-blonde, our eyes change color, not a drastic change, just a slight hue shift. We feel it’s linked to mood and  possibly environment. Looking into each other’s eyes now, both pairs are nearly the same greyish-blue-green shade, with trails of golden-brown etching out from the pupils. This is the shade each other’s eyes have, most often, when we look. We both require corrective lenses to see well.

Contrary to stereotypes encompassing incest and those who are engaging in it, we come from a family of attorneys, high-ranking members of the criminal justice system, and even a few legislative politicians.

I’m almost 23, 5’ 11” tall. I’m a filmmaker, producer, and business owner. I was told I got above average scores on my IQ evaluations, which I took in my adolescent years. I have a high school diploma, technical college degree, and various independent certifications.

Anonymous Sister: I’ll be 21 soon. I am attending a four-year college and working as well. Some personal physical characteristics I have are short hair - well short for a female - about down to my ears. I am about 5’5”. Unlike my brother, a actually have a butt, he’s a flat-back. I have small breasts, which I’ve always been insecure about, along with a lot of other things I don’t like about myself. I don’t tell my brother though because he’ll spend hours telling me I’m wrong.

AB: She has a beautiful body and even more beautiful mind. Sweet smile and cute laugh. She graduated high school in the top ten of her class.

FME: Are you married or have you ever been married?

AB: We are not married legally married, but our hearts and souls are wed in every way that matters. We have thought about doing our own little amalgamation ceremony and giving each other wedding bands to wear on our fingers, but haven’t decided how we want to put it together or what we want it to involve yet.

She does wear an engagement ring I gave her though; four small diamonds and one large diamond in a platinum setting. We always wanted one of those cute “his and hers” things that every couple has like those amulets each partner wears half of, or couple’s shirts with one version for the guy and one for the girl.

We never found anything that we really felt represented us. Everything represents the love society “allows.” Today, that has expanded to include items representing homosexual and interracial love. But nothing symbolizes what we have. I wanted something to represent both parts of the double love we are so lucky to share: soulmates and siblings. So I had custom necklaces made. Each necklace is half of a DNA double helix, which can be connected to the other half. She was very emotional when I gave it to her and showed her what it was. She says it is one of, if not her favorite possession. She won’t go anywhere without it. Those are ways we’re bonded or spiritually married currently.

FME: How would you describe your genders? How would you describe your sexual orientation and your relationship orientation?

AB: Our genders are the same we were born with. We are monogamist as far as actual relationships are concerned. We have, on rare occasions, involved third parties in our sexual relationship, but nothing that could be considered polyamory. We are each other’s one and only. He’s male and heterosexual, I’m female and hetero and “bi-open”.

She’s not really attracted to girls but will engage in sex acts with girls if the occasion arises, like with a three-way or group sex.

FME: You currently live with... ?

AB: We live with each other. It’s just the two of us at this time.

FME: This is a romantic/sexual relationship between a brother and sister? Are you full blood siblings, half siblings, adopted siblings, or stepsiblings?

AB: Yes, we are full blood siblings, brother and sister, that are deeply, madly in love with each other. We have a very romantic and very sexual relationship.

FME: What was your childhood like? What was family life like?

AB: Our parents pushed hard for us to succeed. Sometimes a bit excessively. I know they care about us, and they were only doing what they thought was best, but sometimes it felt like we were only worth our grades. Other than school-related activities, our parents didn’t interact with us much, but really that was fine with us. We had each other.

FME: Were you raised together or did you spend much of your childhoods apart?

AB: We’ve known each other as long as we’ve been on this earth together. My first clear memory is of the first day I saw my little sister after she was born.

FME: How did sexual affection become a part of your relationship?

AB: It was at the same time we discovered, or maybe I should say, admitted to, our feelings for each other.

In our high school years, she was bullied by other girls a lot. I say it’s because they were jealous of her. To make a long story short, it got to her emotionally. She suffered severe depression. One night she attempted to take her own life. This was shortly after she was betrayed by a boyfriend she had. I will never forget that night. I just happened to walk past her room, her door was shut as it usually was. I heard her crying inside. This happened often, but that night, something told me to see if she was ok. I knocked on her door, she didn’t respond but the crying continued. I opened the door and flipped her light on. She was on her knees in the middle of her room. Both of her wrists were cut open. Bright red blood pulsed out from her radial arteries and formed a pool of blood on the floor. She looked up at me with the most hopeless expression I’ve ever seen, tears streaming down her cheeks, which were very pale. She spoke with a weak voice and all she could say was, “I’m sorry…”

Thankfully, I had first aid training and stopped the bleeding as best as I could. I woke up our parents so they could take her to the hospital. I held her on the ride there and she started to pass out about halfway to the hospital. I remember laying her back against me, reaching around her to hold pressure on the bandages on her wrists, and crossing her arms and mine in front of her chest, with her wrists above the level of her heart. I whispered in her ear, “I love you, sis…If you’ll stay with us…I promise; you will never feel alone or unloved ever again. I will care for you in any way you ever need me to. I will dedicate my life to the happiness of yours. Please, I don’t want to lose my little sister.”

It’s very hard and uncomfortable for me to relive that and very emotional for me.

When we brought her back home, she looked at the spot where I had found her that night. She was silent a few seconds, and then she turned around and embraced me. She told me she was very sorry for being, a “selfish bitch” - her choice of words, not mine - and making me feel like I had to watch after her. I could hear the shakiness in her voice and knew she was fighting the urge to cry more.

I started to tell her about the promise I made to her that night. She said she heard my voice saying that, she hadn’t really realized she blacked out. I told her there was nothing I’d rather do more than watch after her, care for her, do whatever had to be done to make her feel happy.

She kissed me quickly. It was the first time she had kissed me on my lips. I didn’t think anything of it though since it was very brief.

I started going to sleep with her in her room after that night. She didn’t need to be alone for the whole night, at least I didn’t feel that she did. I would stay up hours, even entire nights, just letting her cry on my arm. It was never a burden on me. I was, and still am, very lucky to have the honor of comforting her. When she fell asleep each night, I would place my arm around her and hold her tight against me. Secretly, I knew the truth of what I felt. At this point in my life, I was already in love with my sister. I kept my feelings to myself as best as I could though.

We were lying in bed one night, as usual. Thankfully, she wasn’t upset about anything, in fact, she seemed pretty cheerful that night. We just talked about random things after turning off the lights. We had never cuddled or spooned while we were both awake, I had always waited until she was asleep and then put my arm around her. However, this night, as we were talking, she casually snuggled up with her back against me. Neither of us said anything about it right then. We just continued talking. I gently put my arm around her and pulled her close to me. There was a reason I didn’t usually do this while she was awake though. After a few minutes, I felt myself becoming aroused. I was wearing loose sleeping clothes so there wasn’t much I could do to hide it, especially with her being right up next to me.

She got up and walked out of the room. I assumed she was going to the bathroom, but I was worried she might be uncomfortable with me now.

She came back in, but I couldn’t see her in detail, the room was dark. I could only see her figure. She laid back down and I went to put my arm around her again. My arm landed across nothing but warm, soft skin. She was naked. She had removed her clothes in the bathroom. I wasn’t sure how to respond, but she said, “You don’t have to wait until you think I’m asleep, you know? You can touch me…” She paused and move my hand up to cup her breast, which fit perfectly in my hand, and still does. Then she finished her sentence with, “anywhere.”

And I did. We were both trembling, half with excitement, half from our nerves, as my hands openly explored my sister’s beautiful body for the first time.

She told me to turn the lamp on so I did. She got up, holding the covers to halfway cover herself. “You’ve done more for me than anyone ever has. You’ve always taken care of me and made sure I was happy.” She said. She dropped the covers, revealing herself. Then she said, “Please, look at me. I want you to see me naked.” I looked over my sister’s beautiful body. She asked if I thought she was pretty, and I told her she was more than pretty. She still is.

I told her I wanted her to see me naked as well, and she said she would like that. I disrobed and stood up. 

Sis and I looked each other over and tentatively approached one another. As we met, we put our arms around each other and both gazed into the other's eyes. I kissed my sister on her lips, deeply, passionately. I could feel myself shaking with a greater intensity now, as I nervously gauged her reaction. I asked her if she was sure she wanted this. She tightened her hold around me more, and I felt her warm, bare skin press against mine. She said that there was no other man she trusts to care for her, and her body, better than her brother who had been there for her through everything. She told me that she had never been surer of anything than she was of this. Then she returned the kiss I had given her, except this time, it continued unbroken.

Our hands found their way onto “forbidden” parts of each other. We let ourselves fall onto her bed together. I landed on top of her and she wrapped her legs around my waist. We skipped the foreplay for the moment. Now that our desires were known to each other, we urgently needed to consummate our love. I felt her hand gently grip and guide me into her. We were both virgins, and it was all that more special to be each other’s first. I drew back and pushed forward until finally, I was fully inside of her. I laid down on top of her, wrapped my arms underneath her, and kept still inside of her for a moment, just holding and kissing her. That feeling of her still amazes me every time. She sighed, then looked me in the eyes and nodded.

We made love together for the first time.

When we were both spent a few hours later, he was on top of me, shaking a little, resting her forehead on mine, and both of us were catching our breath. I whispered to her, "Was this wrong?" She whispered back, "If this was wrong, I don't want to be right." We’ve been together ever since.

I will never forget that magical moment as long as I live.

FME: Can you elaborate about your feelings then?

AB: The feeling of falling in love with her was unlike any other emotion I had ever experienced before. That’s how I knew that she was it for me, she was the one. I knew that I’d never love someone in the way I love my sister, and nobody would ever make me feel the way she does. I know that I could never be happy with anyone else except her. I could imagine the rest of my life without her being a part of it. The moment that I found out she shared my feelings was the happiest moment of my life. At that moment, nothing else mattered, the world could have been falling apart around us and my focus would have still been fixed on her.

FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together?

I hadn’t really thought about it before my feelings developed for her. I knew the whole stigma around “incest” but personally I had never given it much thought. My sister is the only one I have desires for. She feels the same.

FME: How do you describe the sex now? Does it feel nature, taboo, what?

AB: The sex in our relationship is one of the most amazing parts of it. It is the best and so much more. We can’t even compare it to sex we’ve had with anyone else. We have both tried it with other people and sure, it’s physically pleasing but it lacks the fire of our sex life together. It is very erotic but not because of us being siblings.

We both have a very high sex drive. We joke with each other about being the only ones that could ever meet the other’s needs. I know there are people who get turned on by the idea of having sex with a sibling for the taboo of it, but that has nothing to do with it for us. We both have a number of kinks, but we have sex because we fell in love and want to share the ultimate display of love with one another. It feels like, and it is, meant to be. It is the most incredible experience and forms the greatest bond you can ever share with another human. The emotional power involved is unlike anything else. When we finish, she always cuddles up to me and puts her head on my chest and I think to myself, “I must be the luckiest man in the world.”

FME: Describe your relationship now. Is this a marriage, boyfriend/girlfriend, family-with-benefits, or what? Do you see each other as family or lovers, or are those two roles inseparable at this point?

AB: We’ve been together years now. Our relationship is like an unofficial marriage. We see each other a both family and lovers. It’s part of what makes our love so powerful. I love her as my sister and as my soulmate.

FME: You mentioned other sexual partners. Is this relationship closed or are either if you open to new partners? Do you swing or play with other lovers? If there have been other lovers since you got together, did those lovers know about you two and how did they react?

AB: We don’t mind playing with others, but at this point, it is pretty safe to say our relationship is closed. We have been exclusive to each other for some time now. With each other’s permission, we both independently experimented with a small number of others in the past. The only ones to know about us were another sibling couple we know. We partner swapped and engaged in group sex a few times with them. They are our best friends and two of the few people we can trust with our relationship.  

FME: Who in your life knows the full, true nature of your relationship and how did they find out? How have they reacted? What kind of steps, if any, have you had to take to keep your privacy?

AB: A few of our closest friends know and our parents know. Our friends support us. Our parents were shocked at first but they realized how happy we are together and how much we care about each other. They accepted us and told me to care for my sister and never hurt her.

We protect our privacy by limiting the number of people who know. We keep a list of places we’ve visited as a couple and places we visited as siblings and always visit them as the same when we return. We do not keep dirty pictures or videos of each other, and especially not dirty pictures or videos of us together. We are also careful to make sure we don’t look like a couple in any pictures we post online.

FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? Are there any other disadvantages? Conversely, do you think consanguineous relationships have some advantages and some things better than unrelated lovers?

AB: The main disadvantage is just not being able to openly express our love for each other. But the pros far outweigh the cons. We understand each other better than anyone else ever could. We know everything about each other. We share a lot in common. Best of all, we are truly connected to each other. A ring can come off, but nothing can ever disconnect us.

FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, or disapprove of anyone having this kind of relationship? What's your reply to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other, and that you can’t truly consent?

AB: I would say that if we can’t consent, then nobody on the face of the earth can consent. We are both legal age, of sound mind, and acting of our own free will. I would ask them how anyone can consent if we can’t.

FME: Do you have any children together?

AB: We do not have children at this point, but we absolutely plan to have a family together one day. Our kids will be the greatest blessing to our lives along with each other. Just to ensure we don’t share any recessive genes that would cause an issue, we have both received genetic counseling and we were cleared so we are sure our children will be absolutely fine.

FME: What would you say to something who says siblings shouldn't be allowed to have children?

AB: I would say that as long as they take steps to ensure that there are no issues that might come up there is no reason why we shouldn’t be allowed to have a perfectly healthy, happy child.

FME: Aside from the law, which I think is ridiculous, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?

AB: The only thing wrong with “incest” are the restrictions against it.

FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, harassment, etc., would you?

AB: Yes, if it was possible and there weren’t any restrictions built into the marriage by law, contract, etc. to limit the rights of genetically similar couples. If it was genuine, honest marriage, we certainly would. Protection from hate would be a great added value perk as well, but by the time we are allowed to be married, I hope that such protection would, or at least would soon, prove to be unnecessary. Marriage would add another bond to our love, but it wouldn’t replace our sibling bond. We can still be just as close without officially being married. The true connection is in our hearts.

FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a sibling?

AB: My advice would be to follow your feelings. At least try to find out if they share them with you. Don’t assume they won’t, because you might be surprised. It is the greatest relationship you can have with anyone. It is the most powerful love you’ll ever know. It’s worth it.

FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?

AB: Be accepting of them. Support them as if they are a regular couple. Don’t act differently towards them. Don’t tell other people; let them tell who they want to tell. If you aren’t sure about their feelings, let them know that if they were to feel that way, there is nothing wrong with that.

FME: Any plans for the future?

AB: After my sister finishes college, we plan to move somewhere where nobody knows us so we can live as a couple and start our family together.

FME: Anything else to add?

AB: I would just like to say thank you for the opportunity to my story anonymously and thank you for fighting for our rights. My sister and I will always love each other, and no person, law, or anything else will ever break us apart.


Clearly, these lovers are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone, practically married in every way except the law, and yet they can't even exercise their basic human right to marry, even though they are living as spouses. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied that fundamental right to marry. They can't even be open about their love!

Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.

You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life who are in consanguinamorous relationships.

If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.

If you are concerned about pregnancies between close relatives, read this.
If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.

Thank you to Anonymous Brother and Sister for doing this interview! We wish you well in your consanguinamorous marriage and, should you enter it, parenthood. May the strength of your double bond grow.
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  1. I wish these people good luck, I hope they can be as happy as my brother and I are, and have as many children as they want.

    Liz Smith

  2. Liz.Having children is a problem....I know my sister and I became a couple last year.What started out as me moving in with her after the military and her divorce(She is 31.Iam 22.)has lead to a brother sister romance with my sister and I expecting a daughter/sister.We are thrilled yet we have a lot to think about and figure out how we will live our life.You make it sound like it is no big deal.It is.

  3. Glad to see another great brother sister couple. I know when my sister and I got together about 16 years ago and started making love regularly on the weekends and we moved in together after about a year. For me, my sister is a wife in all aspects except for the legal end if it all.

    1. Anonymous, congrats on your love! I’d like to discuss this with you more, so please write me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com


To prevent spam, comments will have to be approved, so your comment may not appear for several hours. Feedback is welcome, including disagreement. I only delete/reject/mark as spam: spam, vulgar or hateful attacks, repeated spouting of bigotry from the same person that does not add to the discussion, and the like. I will not reject comments based on disagreement, but if you don't think consenting adults should be free to love each other, then I do not consent to have you repeatedly spout hate on my blog without adding anything to the discourse.

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